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A beginner's
guide to cooking Having decided that it was high time that I learnt the art I relentlessly pursued various bookstores in search of the perfect cooking book. I soon found a picture perfect book entitled 'Chinese Cooking'. Upon finding that the necessary utensils were available at home, I embarked upon what would be the most unforgiving ride of my life. I did have prior experience in cooking. I had made tea in Billy Cans and hot hot burnt 'Roti' on a campfire. I also knew how to make rice in twelve minutes in a microwave. But nothing could have prepared me for this. Chinese food, however delicious it may be, is well... to say the least, difficult to prepare. After having decided that the meal should begin with an appetizer I proceeded to scroll through the book and came up with Crispy Spring Rolls. My mouth watered at the sight of those delectable little rolls. But as I looked over the ingredients my mouth ran dry. I didn't know what on earth they were. After giving a rushed call to a dear relative, I was once again on my way. The method stated specifically that a large amount of carrots were required to be shredded. As I am not extremely fond of manual labour, I immediately dumped all the carrots (all cleaned, of course) into the blender and went off to watch a bit of television. I ended up with carrot juice. Undaunted, I cleaned a new batch of carrots and shredded them tirelessly on the cheese shredder. It came out well. I meticulously followed the rest of the instructions. And after a good two hours of labour was finally ready to fry the spring rolls. They were supposed to fry to a golden brown but mine decided that black was the way to go! I served the Carrot Juice as an appetizer. Then came the soup. It required 500g of shredded chicken. How on earth is one to shred chicken? Cut chicken perhaps but shred chicken? I asked myself as I reached for the cheese/carrot shredder. No, it didn't work. A dear parent willingly obliged and I had the chicken shredded in no time. The soup was not exactly bad, a bit watery and lacking flavour and tasting like the remains of last night's gravy but quite filling. As I had spent half the day trying to prepare a quarter of the meal, the rest of it was ordered out! Simply because there was a lack of time - nothing else I promise. So Chinese cooking was not for me. I then purchased a book on cakes and pastries. As I flipped through the pages I saw it - the most delectable chocolate cake I had ever seen. I simply had to try my hand at it. I got the ingredients out and started mixing as the book so cleverly stated. Soon the distinctive aroma of freshly baked cake greeted me. And I happily took it out of the oven. I took a tray and turned over the contents - but to my dismay, the cake crumbled! Investigations lead to the fact that I had forgotten to add the eggs. Learning off books was simply was not for me. I learnt that through the various others who were part of my 'cooking experiment'. So I shifted to the Television. Unbelievable as it may seem, there are a dozen or so cookery programmes on during the weekend. I watched in fascination as the Chef took out beautifully roasted chicken and other such delicacies which were a tad farfetched for me and pronounced them 'so easy' to make. That was it, I had to try my hand. After carefully selecting a prime chicken, I proceeded to follow his instructions until he said 'add a pinch of salt' - How on earth am I to pinch the salt? I tried and came up with a few grains whilst wondering if it did hurt the salt. After which I was instructed to add a cup of water. Okay - but how much is a cup? A coffee cup, a tea cup, a cup as in stated on a measuring jug? I was lost. Amidst the chaos, a sibling came up with the Roman method of roasting chicken - pluck the chicken, add everything in sight and place the chicken over a fire! Simply substitute any other meat if in need of a change! The chicken didn't come out that well - a trip to a nearby shop rectified the situation and we did have Roast Chicken for dinner. Tea is another beverage that I'm wary of making. Whatever said and done the making of tea is a complicated procedure. There's the water to boil, the tea leaves to brew, the milk that has to come just right and the sugar that has to be adjusted according to the person's taste. It is simply because of this that I no longer consume tea - it's not worth the trouble! My experiment was not a complete failure. The nearby pharmacy really benefited from it. At the end of it I possessed ten burnt fingers and a few ruined aprons but I was thrilled - at least I had tried. My advice to anyone wishing to indulge in cooking is 'Never refer cookery books, Never watch chefs and others of the kind cooking on TV. Just add everything in sight and never ever taste what you are attempting to cook!' Cooking is an arduous task and no doubt, extremely fulfilling up until the moment that you reach the sink to wash up the dirty dishes! But I have finally found the perfect recipe for a fantastic meal - one grandmother, one dozen domestic help and dash of a Pizza delivery man! |
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unfortunately
possess none of the aforesaid qualities.
