You were my greatest influence

Mahinda Dias

On the eve of your 20th death anniversary Thathi, I would like to express my loving thanks to you. I lived in Sri Lanka for 20 years before I came to England. I have lived in England for 26 years now, longer than I have lived in Sri Lanka, but the first 20 years of my life were the most influential part of building a personal profile of experiences, knowledge, attitudes and skills.

You were the main influence of my development. You taught me not to take people for granted, to be always grateful, no matter how small the support I have received and respect people, to be focused and determined in what I want to achieve in life. Today I owe it all to you.

When I face difficulties, I never give up, but find a different solution to overcome the issues. You taught me this. You showed such determination and passion in your work that even colleagues who were at times critical of you would stand back and admire you. It was never easy for you, everything had to be thought out carefully as you planned the stage for yet another new production and how the lighting effects would give that extra special show that would remain in people’s memories for a long time.

No matter how busy you were, you always made time for me, to discuss an opportunity I wanted to explore. This varied from music to cooking or wanting to travel abroad. If I showed an interest in a particular book, the next thing I would find is that you would have not just bought the book, but the whole series as well.

I was never the favourite child or daughter and there were times I wish I was! Yet you made me feel special in a different way. You use to wait for me to return from my cookery classes, so you could sample the food and give me your views. You would suggest a different method of cooking a particular food. The compliments I receive from my cooking are because of you.

When you travelled to America, knowing the love I had for dolls, you brought me 60 dolls each one wearing a different costume from a different part of the world. I only asked for one doll. I remember the thrill and excitement looking through these beautiful dolls, admiring their costumes and beauty. Then you got a special dolls cupboard tailor made to keep these dolls safe and clean.
Thathi, you were born to a wealthy family, as they say ‘born with a silver spoon in your mouth’. Yet, you never showed any prejudices and accepted each person as they were.

You loved to help and teach others in any way you could, whether it was a neighbour asking for advice or a cousin wanting pocket money. You spent your money to make others happy. Your generosity left you with very little money, but your aim was different.

I miss you very much even after so many years. How I wish I could have introduced you to my husband Peter, and our son Gihan. You would have loved to have seen Gihan grow up. Gihan is 13 years old and how I wish I could have told you that his interest is music and drama. He has been in several theatre productions and people often say he is a talented actor. When we were in Sri Lanka in 2006, Mallie (Thushan Dias – first to use digital lighting on the Sri Lankan stage) took Gihan to show him the Lionel Wendt Theatre and Gihan came back beaming and telling me what you have done there.

Thathi, I am sorry that I never had the opportunity to spoil you and tell you how much you have influenced my life in a positive way.

Your ever loving daughter, Deshanthi Elleray. Mahinda Dias who died on March 12, 1987 was the pioneer in stage lighting in Sri Lanka.