Some food for thought to our malnourished Green Man

By Rypvanwinkle

My dear Green Man,

I thought I must write to you, especially as you are now holding party conventions and promising to carry out reforms while at the same time assuring everyone that the Greens - or what is left of it - will agitate against Mahinda maama and try to drive him out of office.

There will be many people who will say that all this is too little, too late, but I suppose for most of the long suffering people of this country it is better late then never. So, Green Man, don't forget that as the leader of the opposing camp you too have a responsibility to do your duty by the people.

First though, you will have to get your act together about Karu and the other horu who are saying a lot of boru now to justify their crossing over to Mahinda maama's camp. While it is nauseating to hear the likes of the dentist and the tuition sir talk of the virtues of Mahinda maama's Chinthanaya, it is equally distressing to hear that you can't get rid of them that easily too.
If memory serves me right Green Man, you have tried to sack Sarath, Keheliya and Rohitha and whenever you attempt to do so you run against some stumbling block. Now it is the same story all over again with Karu and his horu because they have gone to courts and stalled you.

My advice to you is to ask Mahinda maama himself about how to sack someone from your party without running into problems - after all, he will be sacking Mangala and Sripathi shortly and I'm sure he will do that quite easily. Mangala and Sripathi I am sure will also try to stall him, I'm sure, but then it will be a case of 'naduth hamuduruwange, baduth hamuduruwange'!

Then, Green Man, we also heard that you had appointed Seeni Bola as the National Organiser of the Greens while abolishing that cumbersome post of Deputy Leader. Already, some overenthusiastic people are comparing you and Seeni Bola to JR and Premadasa, but I am not so sure, Green Man.

I hope you will not forget that Seeni Bola did to the Greens what Mahinda maama did in the Blue camp. Mahinda maama, if you recall, led the agitation within the Blue camp leading to the likes of Gas Labu and Seeni Bola leaving the Blues, resulting in Mahinda maama himself becoming the heir apparent. Now, Seeni Bola also led the agitation in the Green camp leading to Karu and his horu leaving and hey presto, Seeni Bola is now the heir apparent.

The moral of the story is that when Mahinda maama became heir apparent, he moved heaven, earth-and a few people in Hulftsdorp - to dispose of Satellite and become King. So, there is no reason why Seeni Bola should now not do the same - at your expense. After all, the man even ate hira buth for the Green cause and that is a distinction that even you cannot claim!

So, think about all this, Green Man, before you embark on this campaign of yours to oust Mahinda maama. And while you are at it, try to knock some sense into that Tissa chap too. He is promising us a green government in ninety days. Doesn't he know that we already have one because all the leading lights in the government are now Greens?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS - We heard that last week you paid your customary visit to the Royal-Thomian, a match which the Thomians won. I know you are a loyal old Royalist but you have been following the Thomian motto, Esto Perpetua - 'Be thou Forever' - for some time now. Surely, Green Man, isn't it time now to switch to the motto of your own school, Disce Aut Discede -'Learn or Depart'?