Dear readers, Over the past few years I have been meaning to do this but could never find the words to do so. I am afraid for your sake that I have finally found my voice. Or at least a pen. On the road that has led me to this point in time, I have noticed that apart from the many problems we face whether it be world-related, self-related or friend-related (if there really are people who experience them, I would never know), one common problem that most amenable folk are faced with, is the arduous but almost necessary task of love.
Discussed by the Lords and the Ladies, the street urchins and the gutter mice, by the book worms to the street smarts, dear readers it is the only topic discussed with such conviction and concern over the past few millenniums and still bears little or no conclusive thesis. Many have tried, all have failed but few have left us a trail of what seems to be small footnotes drawn from hours of arguments and millions of years of observation. But much to your disappointment I have no intension of regurgitating all what has been said before, but intend to dispense my own advice which should be taken in large doses of moderation. Guaranteed to work at your own risk.
For us to begin this venture it is important to understand the first golden rule of Love. Love is uncontrollable. Is it not a cliché? Fret not though it is not the first golden rule. Love is uncontrollable because you do not find love, love finds you. And when it has, you will know no other lord and master. It is a control freak, a megalomaniac; it is in its purest a slave driver.
In the context of human relationships, love controls almost every move of either party. Whether it is love of the partner, love of the other's wealth or his/her general demeanour, it matters little. All that matters is that you know that the force in question is the one true regulator of all choices, requests and motives in any relationship.
Seen this all before?
In my study of the topic and subject matter on offer, I have already come across several observations. The first was that the world of dispensable relationship advice was dearly lacking a male perspective. This niggling little problem was quite irritating, to me at least, due to the feeble attempts of the feminine to understand the complexity of the masculine mind.
It was essential that someone intervene to end this monotonous wailing about the discrepancy and the more or less lewd conduct of the male. In this forum we will discuss both creatures, male and female, as two different species universally intertwined by forces uncontrollable with an unwarranted sense of meaning.
They are not the same creature but they are made for each other. In my observations I also recognised, much to my alarm the generalization of problems. I understand fully that it is impossible to address each and every problem surrounding human relationships and especially putting them into context. But the dilemma which looms large is that no two problems are identical and that dispensing general advice is somewhat imprudent while applying the counsel to your own problem could have grim repercussions similar to the ones you were attempting to avoid in the first place.
In view of these difficulties I have formulated a new but completely unoriginal plan to somehow appeal to you my readers, by addressing not common problems but your very own problems. Not void of a single colour or shade of it. Therefore it is vital that this letter be replied by whosoever it may concern and by whoever thinks it fit to join us in this venture.
Write back to me with your views, arguments and more importantly your problems at firstname.lastname@example.org. Identities will be kept confidential and replies will be posted on the magazine in the ensuing weeks.