Mrs. Anumaana has been feeling the pinch of the skyrocketing cost of living this festive season. She's bemoaning the fact that she may not be able to afford gifts for all the friends and relatives on her list this year. What would people think?

Sunil having heard this lament going on for some time said "Amma haven't you heard about "recycling?" Everybody does it. You know that vase you got for your birthday last year - don't you think that would be a perfect gift for loku akka? And for punchi, you can give that music DVD you never opened. And where's that pack of table mats you said you don't like …? Just the thing for Mrs. Aandupaksa, no?

Mrs. Anumaana rolled her eyes in despair as her son went through the catalogue of recyclable gift items in the house. He warns that with "recycling" the main thing to remember is not to give something back to the same person who gave it to you - a mistake that could have dire social consequences.

According to Sunil it's not just people celebrating Christmas who are recycling. "Why do you think the UNP is called the Green Party," he asks. "Because they believe in a policy of "Reduce, reuse and recycle," he says. By "recycling" its MPs the UNP "reduces" its members, while the government "reuses" them, he explains. They have "recycled" so many MPs up to now that most people have lost count.

Sunil has calculated that a full quarter of the cabinet now consists of recycled UNP MPs, giving the term "Jumbo Cabinet" a new meaning. At the next demo in Parliament he says they plan to hold up placards saying "We are the 25%." However it is not clear what their demands will be since they are already enjoying the plums of office. "Enough plums to make a Christmas pudding!" according to Sunil.

The strategy of the recyclists, now well known, is to wait for the opportune moment - such as during a vote on a crucial bill or, say, the Budget - and then in the midst of proceedings attract much media attention by walking over from the Opposition benches to the Government side. (Not there's much room there nowadays, with their surplus members having to be seated on the Opposition side for want of sufficient seats ... )

The recycling MPs then make a grand speech about how they wish to serve the country better, and plead that they can only do so by joining the ranks of the government. For this they are rewarded with a title or portfolio of one kind or another, along with the perks and benefits that go with it. (What's an extra couple of billion rupees in taxpayers' money after all -- it's all for the good of the country?) The latest recyclist for example has been bestowed with the title of "Martyr for Education." It is understood that a new subject, "Recycling," is to be introduced as a subject in the school curriculum very soon.

This is a win-win situation, in Sunil's optimistic opinion. The UNP will get rid of its turncoats, reducing its numbers to the point that Ranil will eventually be forced to go and the party will be able to get a new leader and resuscitate itself. The government gets new MPs who were elected on the UNP ticket to swell its numbers without having had to spend a cent of campaign funds on them. And the people are provided with free entertainment with this ongoing drama, alongside which the Colombo night races pale in comparison, says Sunil.

Lately there has been speculation that the UNP's newest candidate for recycling is the Party Leader. This is on the basis of close observation of his dress habits. For instance it has been noted that he recently came out of the Katunayake International Airport to face the TV cameras sporting a bright blue shirt. Sunil says there is considerable debate as to the type of shirt - some say it was Van Heusen, others say Ralph Lauren and still others say Hameedia.

But the one point, on which all are agreed, is that the shirt was BLUE in colour. Blue as the skies over Hambantota. The 'blue shirt episode' is currently being analysed in conjunction with the recent approval granted by cabinet for a new car as well as a new office for the Opposition Leader. It is rumoured that the title bestowed on him will be "Martyr for the UNP."

Mrs. Anumaana was beginning to get tired of listening to Sunil's gossip bulletin, and her thoughts were reverting to the question of what to do about her cash-strapped situation, when the doorbell rang. It was someone from the Aandupaksa house with a Christmas present. Oh dear thought Mrs. Anumaana as she opened it, now I will HAVE to buy something to reciprocate. But wait a minute … don't these batik cushion covers sent by Mrs. Aandupaksa look rather familiar …?