5th Column

“Thaaththa,” Bindu Udagedera asked, “what is all this fuss about the Constitution?”
“Some people,” Bindu’s father Percy explained, “want the thirteenth amendment to the Constitution removed.”
“Why do they want to do that, thaaththa?” Bindu wanted to know.
“They seem to think that it doesn’t serve any purpose,” Percy said.

“Who says so?” Bindu asked.
“Why, Gotabaya maama was the first to suggest that,” Percy recalled.
“And why does he think that we don’t need the thirteenth amendment anymore?” Bindu wondered.
“Well,” Percy said, “he says that now that the war is over, there is no need for this thirteenth amendment.”
“What did the thirteenth amendment do anyway, thaaththa?” Bindu inquired.
“That is the amendment that created the provincial councils, Bindu,” Percy said.
“Then I understand why he wants that amendment removed,”Bindu said.
“Why do you say that?” Percy was puzzled.
“Why thaaththa,” Bindu said, “If we didn’t have the thirteenth amendment, we wouldn’t need to have all these provincial councils,” Bindu argued.
“And why is that good?” Percy asked.
“Why thaaththa,” Bindu explained, “then we don’t need to have elections to all these councils every few months.”
“That is true,” Percy agreed.
“And it will be good for Mahinda maama as well,” Bindu said.
“Why is it good for Mahinda maama?” Percy asked, “I thought Mahinda maama liked having all these elections every few months.”
“But thaaththa,” Bindu pointed out, “if there are no provincial councils he doesn’t have to make some people unhappy by choosing chief ministers.”
“That is also true,” Percy conceded.
“So, who else wants the thirteenth amendment removed?” Bindu asked.
“Well,” Percy said, “as usual, there is Uncle Wimal leading the pack.”
“I suppose he could stage a fast unto death in front of a provincial council now,” Bindu said.
“And then call off the fast after three days even if nothing happened as a result of the fast,” Percy observed.
“Or else,” Bindu suggested, “he could announce that he is boycotting everything that is related to provincial councils.”
“That is also possible,” Percy agreed.
“Is there anyone else who is demanding that the thirteenth amendment be removed, thaaththa?” Bindu asked.
“Well there is Uncle Champika as well,” Percy pointed out.
“He may not stage a fast unto death, so no one really takes notice of what he has to say,” Bindu declared.
“Yes,” Percy agreed, “”he doesn’t have that many votes of his own either for people to take him seriously.”
“So, thaaththa,” Bindu inquired, “who else is asking for the removal of the thirteenth amendment?”
“There is also Uncle Dinesh who is making the same demand but no one really listens to him these days,” Percy said.
“Why do you say that, thaaththa?” Bindu demanded.
“Why, he said he was not even aware of plans to impose a tax on water wells even though he is the minister in charge of the subject,” Percy recalled.
“Thaaththa,” Bindu asked, “with so many people wanting the thirteenth amendment removed, is there anyone who wants it to continue?’
“That is what is surprising, Bindu,” Percy said, “there are those in Mahinda maama’s team who want it to continue as well.”
“And who are they?” Bindu was curious.
“Why there is Uncle Rauff who is furious that they are even considering removing the thirteenth amendment,” Percy remembered.
“Ah,” Bindu said, “but Uncle Rauff always talks big about opposing Mahinda maama’s policies and finally he gives in without a fight…”
“Why do you say that?” Percy asked.
“Why, thaaththa, he did so first with the eighteenth amendment and then again with the elections for the Eastern Province,” Bindu recalled.
“Yes,” “Percy said, “he let the opposition down on both occasions.”
“So, is he the only person who wants to retain the thirteenth amendment?” Bindu wondered.
“No,” Percy said, “there is Uncle Tissa who says that any move to remove the thirteenth amendment must be an international conspiracy to embarrass the government.”
“But that makes this very confusing, thaaththa,” Bindu complained.
“Why is that, Bindu?” Percy asked.
“Why, thaaththa,” Bindu said, “what that means is that Uncle Wimal, Uncle Champika and Uncle Dinesh are all part of an international conspiracy to embarrass the government.”
“I don’t think he quite meant it that way,” Percy argued.
“Well,” Bindu said, “Uncle Wimal and Uncle Champika do embarrass the government from time to time although we never thought of that as being part of an international conspiracy until now.”
“And Uncle Dinesh would, I am sure, resent being accused of a conspiracy,” Percy pointed out.
“But thaaththa,” Bindu remembered “what about the Greens?”
“What about them?” Percy demanded.
“Since the thirteenth amendment was their creation many years ago, what do they say about it now?” Bindu wanted to know.
“That is easy to predict,” Percy said.
“Why is that, thaaththa?” Bindu asked.
“Why, Bindu the Greens will be ordered not to speak about it publicly and they will also be ordered not to attend any public meetings that would be held to protest the thirteenth amendment,” Percy declared.
Bindu didn’t disagree with that.

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