5th Column

My Dear MR,

I thought I must write to you because these days, your decisions and actions are being compared to what I did when I was ruling paradise-and indeed, you seem to be having the same kind of problems that I did. I think, however, that with the benefit of hindsight, I could offer you some advice.

You know, MR, that in my attempts to consolidate my power I did many things. I had the Queen Bee deprived of her civic rights, threw her son-in-law in jail and held a referendum instead of a general election. Many people called me autocratic and looking back now, I suppose I was.

Of course, to act in such a manner, I needed a massive majority in Parliament and I had a five-sixth majority. I notice, MR, that you too enjoy a two-thirds majority. I can also see some similarities in what I did then and what you are trying to do now.

Why, you too succeeded in hounding your principal political opponent and not only did you deprive him of his civic rights, you also deprived him of his rank and his pension and put him in jail too.

You did pardon him eventually but I think your actions increased his popularity and decreased yours.

What you don’t seem to have realized, MR, is that I had to take certain actions to divide the opposition and keep them divided. You too did that well initially by inviting Karu and seventeen others to join you and they readily fell for the bait. The Greens are still paying for that blunder.

A lot has happened since then and I don’t think you need to do any more. The Greens are still divided into two factions although they pretend to belong to one party and the Reds have officially gone their separate ways. Even those in the North are squabbling with each other.

What more can you ask for?

You have even been able to amend the laws to enable you to rule for more than two terms of office, MR. Looking back at my years at the top I don’t necessarily see that as a good move because, after twelve years, people are usually asking why you aren’t leaving instead of asking why you are leaving!
You will recall, MR, that I too had problems with certain people and I tried to get rid of them. There were two Nevilles I tried to get rid of; I tried to impeach one of them but he retired. The other Neville was more stubborn and he stayed put. At first I tried to oust him but then, I let him be.

Even when I tried to impeach one Neville, MR, there was none of the theatrics that you are having today. It was done with some degree of decency and decorum instead of the entire exercise becoming a circus-and that is the mistake you are making, MR.

The lady judge is being abused in the state media every day, your henchmen are organizing protests against her and matters have sunk to such a low level that policemen on duty were asked not to salute her! Obviously, there is a difference between how those from Ward Place and Medamulana operate!
The committee I had to probe Neville consisted of eminent persons in that Parliament. You, MR, have packed the committee with people like Wimal, Dilan and Rajitha who are well known for their foul mouthed outbursts. In fact, it is surprising that Mervyn is not on the committee!

So, it is little wonder that your committee is going about its business like a bull in a china shop, disregarding all norms, not providing sufficient time for the inquiry, not allowing the accused to summon witnesses and wanting to conclude sittings before you could say ‘Mohan P’!

Think about it, MR. You may succeed in getting rid of the lady judge and a puppet will then be appointed to her post to do your bidding. You may even think that thereafter, no judge will ever dare to give a verdict against you and your party, but is that what you really want?

You should learn a lesson from what happened to me. I thought I did my bit for Paradise when I opened up the economy and launched unprecedented development schemes. It could be argued that the country sustains itself even today because of what I did.

Yet, it saddens me to realise that people in Paradise remember me not for all these achievements but for all my cunning tactics which I adopted during the twelve years that I was at the top. I have a feeling that this might happen to you too, MR and they may not remember you for winning the war!

In fact, just a year into your second term, I think you enjoy the same level of popularity that I had at the end of my second term-and that is not something to be proud of. When you are King and everyone says ‘Yes, Sir’ to you, it is difficult to realise this-and that is why I thought I should warn you.

Yours truly,
JR

PS-There was a saying that the only task that I couldn’t do was to turn a lady into a gentleman. I suppose that is something you are struggling with now as well-trying to get rid of a lady judge so that you could replace her with a gentleman. My advice to you, MR, is that there are some things that are not worth the price you have to pay in order to get them done!

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