Conflict and Growth: They are on the same page
Ishan’s role at work is to collect data to support the sales team. He gathers as much information as possible and spends a great deal of time transferring this information into colourful spreadsheets. He loves his job, values integrity and enjoys working with the sales team. He is diligent and motivated to support the organization to achieve great results. Shenula on the other hand, is one of the top executives in the sales team. She recognizes the importance of the sales reports as compiled by Ishan and relies on them to achieve her goal and thus her team goals. She values highly integrity and works hard at ensuring that they meet targets. Each week when Ishan releases the sales reports, Shenula goes over them with a red pen, looking for any errors (which are not frequent). If she comes across an error no matter how negligible it is, she immediately emails Gary about it. Each week Ishan fears the release of the reports as he feels unacknowledged by Shenula and thinks she is too critical of everything he does. Even though every week Ishan does his utmost to ensure the reports are perfect, this however has started to stress him out. Over time his motivation drops and they start sending aggressive emails to each other.
Conflict happens when one party perceives that another party has taken or will take actions that are incompatible with one’s own interests. There are many types of conflict in the workplace. It can happen when people have different viewpoints and opinions with respect to a decision they make. Secondly, emotions are heightened when people experience clashes of personality, working/learning styles or interpersonal tension, resulting in frustration or anger. Finally, it could also happen due to the organizational system, when there are different processes in how work groups should operate, such as how various duties and resources are allocated and who should be held accountable.
One of the main reasons for conflict in the workplace is bad communication; if communicated recklessly, a harmless message can damage the person receiving it. Some of the other reasons for conflict are grudges, jealousies, politicking, malevolent attributions, destructive criticism, distrust and competition. In this case, there is a real misalignment and a ‘conflict of interest’ but why would conflict take place even when we work with people who have exactly the same intent as ourselves? Imagine sitting down with Ishan and Shenula to explain that they share the same intent of serving the organization whole-heartedly and abide by the same values such as integrity, diligence, team work, commitment and motivation to achieve. They see each other differently because their values and beliefs are acted out through different working styles. No matter how similar we are in our intent, the moment we enact different behaviour, we tend to believe that we are not aligned with one another. But we are all different in our personalities, hence the way we work, the way we react, the way we cope with stress. Knowing our intent and the intent of the person of interest greatly helps us in our relationships, both personal and work related.
How can we minimize conflict at work? Organizations can agree on a process for addressing conflict before it occurs, make sure people know their specific areas of responsibility and authority, and recognize the conflict stemming from faulty organizational processes rather than blaming it on the individuals. Managers can encourage teams to face the conflict and to acknowledge the emotional reactions of one another. When one realizes that he/she is emotionally charged, it is best to put off discussing the conflict till emotions are under control. Individually, one can learn to better apologize, keep quiet, use more humour, compromise and when all else fails, to seek a mediator.
In resolving conflict, some of us may apologize too much and mend the relationships promptly by saying ‘I am sorry’, which they can use as an exit from the crisis situation. Some of us may withdraw altogether. Some others use force to get what they want and care little about the relationships. And finally, some may confront the conflict to negotiate and come up with solutions that are reasonable for both parties. We use different strategies in conflict resolution, and the more we pay attention and understand these differences within us and in others, the more equipped we are to face and deal with conflict.
Conflict is an integral part of interpersonal relationships and should be defined as a mutual problem. The challenge is to identify different types of conflicts, and to see it as a part of the solution. Rather than seeing each other as opponents, what if we look at the problem from one platform, to achieve the best solution possible? After all, there is some truth in the saying that anything can be solved over a good cup to tea. Yes, talking with awareness is important and in the conversation, ideally the facts have to be filtered from the emotion to drive the right message home.
There are managers and teams who encourage conflict with the belief that it is potentially constructive, especially for creativity and innovation. Growth cannot take place without change and change is inherently seen as a challenge to find a new balance or a new equilibrium, whilst letting go of the old ways. In most instances, these changes are seen as negative and destructive.
But any form of growth or development is preceded by a stage of confusion or conflict, internal, external or both. Conflict can be an opportunity to reach greater heights personally and in our relationships with others. But it all depends on how we look at the solution, not the problem. Change or conflict is inevitable but growth is intentional!
(Rozaine is a Business Psychologist, consultant and a university lecturer based in Colombo. She can be contacted via email on rozaine@forte.lk)
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