5th Column
Talking statues and flouting statutes
View(s):As Paradise was preparing for its next international summit in more than thirty-five years, its statues were having a conference of their own. They had been summoned by the statue of the Father of the Nation, the DS Statue.
“Actually as a matter of fact,” the DS statue said, “I wanted to know your views about this plan to move my statute from Independence Square.”
“Who wants to do that?” the other statues asked.
“That is what I heard,” the DS statue said, “suddenly everyone is talking about me after all these years.”
“And whose bright idea is that?” the other statues asked.
“Well,” the DS statue said, “they say that some foreigner who was visiting Independence Square suggested that I should be moved.”
“Are you sure?” asked the Dudley Statue, which had come all the way from Borella.
“I am not so sure,” DS said, “because now the visitor is saying that she never said anything like that.”
“But surely,” the other statues said, “they should be able to find out the truth about this story.”
“Well,” the DS statue said, “it shouldn’t be that difficult because either the visitor is lying now or those who revealed the story here were lying.”
“If I were you”, said the SWRD statue which had come from Galle Face, “I wouldn’t be too worried about it because they were even talking about moving me to make way for some hotel.”
“Ah,” the DS statue said, “you would have been happy to move because you were turning green because of the sea breeze in Galle Face, whereas I was in the best possible location in the country.”
“I am not so sure about that,” said the Sir John statue, which had come from Kandawala, “all of you are in a public place, but I still have the luxury of being in my own garden.”
“But that is hardly of any use,” the Dudley statue said, “the only people who visit you are those who visit your university; the general public rarely to get to see you.”
“Oh, that is alright,” said the Sir John statue, “I was a forgotten man as soon as I left office and remained that way for many years, so being away from the public eye is nothing new to me.”
“I don’t agree with that,” said the Premadasa statue, which had come from Hulftsdorp, “I like to be remembered as someone who was always with the people.”
“What do you mean by that?” the other statues asked.
“Why, I always lived and worked in my electorate and even at the very end I was in my electorate. Even now, I am still in my electorate,” the Premadasa statue explained.
“That may be so”, said the Athulathmudali statue, which had come from the Royal College roundabout “but all of you had to become Prime Ministers or Presidents to get your statue, but I got mine even though I was no more than a minister and my statue is in Colombo Seven, the best piece of real estate in the country.”
“That is true,” the other statues agreed, “it is a remarkable achievement indeed.”
“I have done that too,” said the Dissanayake statue which had come from the Vihara Maha Devi Park, “so we may be the only ministers to have statues built in our honour in the capital.”
“Why, have you forgotten me?” asked the Felix Dias statue, which had also come from Vihara Maha Devi Park, “after all, I am your neighbour.”
“And don’t forget us, comrades,” said the NM statue which had come from Parliament Road and the Kueneman statue which had come from near the Elphinstone theatre, “we are there too.”
“And I am there too,” said the Kadirgamar statue, “I was also only a minister and unlike most of you, for a very short time.”
“That is true as well,” the other statues agreed, “and there were two of you as well, first at Kollupitiya and then at the Institute built in your name.”
“Ah,” said the Kadirgamar statue, “but I do know that some of my successors were not very keen to see me around, so they tried many mind boggling tactics to move me and at one stage I was lying in a box for several years.”
“Anyway,” the DS statue said, “I hope I won’t be moved around as a result of all this controversy.”
“Don’t worry, DS”, said another voice, “I have realised that statues are not really important because I don’t have one, even after being both President and Prime Minister.” It was JR’s voice.
“Ah,” said the DS statue, “you always outfoxed us. Here we are, worrying about ourselves and where we would be sent. You don’t have to do that because you named an entire city after you and declared it the capital probably because you suspected that no one will build a statute for you.”
“I wouldn’t be worried even if they changed the name of that city,” JR’s voice said.
“Why is that?” the other statues asked.
“I may not have a statue,” JR’s voice said, “but the statutes that I created through my Constitution still stand and although everyone criticises them until they come to power, no one dares to discard them after they assume office.”
The other statues knew that they couldn’t disagree with that.