5th Column
Big, bigger and the biggest: The Cabinet grows
View(s):My dear new deputy ministers,
I thought I must write to congratulate you on your appointment as deputy ministers this week. I am sure Mahinda maama has very good reasons to appoint you to these posts and that you fill a long overdue need to make our country a true paradise!
With your appointment, Sri Lanka now has one President, one Prime Minister, ten senior ministers, 54 Cabinet ministers, 38 deputy ministers and two project ministers, rounding up a grand total of one hundred six ministers of some sort or the other.
I am told this is a record that is in the Guinness Book of world records. I am sure, dear deputy ministers, that we can even better this record because we still have only 38 deputy ministers for the 66 cabinet ministers, which means there is still room for 28 deputy ministers!
I am also sure that each of you, dear deputy ministers, will be given privileges like an office, personal staff, telephones, vehicles and bodyguards. After all, without these you wouldn’t be able to function properly and provide value for money while serving the country in your new roles, would you?
I’m sure that Mahinda maama knows best because even in deciding Cabinet ministers he has decided on ministers for ‘public relations and public affairs’, ‘Botanical gardens and public recreation’ and ‘productivity promotion’ but some of the subjects allocated to some of you have puzzled me.
Sonna boy has been appointed deputy minister for postal services. It wouldn’t surprise us if he was appointed deputy minister of sports. I was wondering whether Mahinda maama said ‘sports’ and the person typing the letter of appointment got it wrong and typed deputy ministers for ‘posts’ instead.
This champion cricketer who delighted us with his batting and won so many games for us almost single handedly, has now been asked to look after delivering letters and parcels and that too while he serves as chief selector of our cricket team.
Sonna, we know you showed good all-round skills at cricket but I can’t ever remember seeing you delivering drinks as the twelfth man so I’m not sure how you will fare delivering letters. But then, if you can try your hand at Bollywood dancing, this might not be that difficult to handle!
It is much easier to understand the appointment of Mohan Lal as deputy minister of education. After all, he has been dabbling in education all his life, first a tuition master teaching physics and then as the owner of a chain of international schools.
So, now we have Bandula as the minister of education and Mohan Lal as deputy minister. Isn’t it great that this country, which boasts of free education up to the university level, has two tuition masters in charge of education? Ah, we will be an even better educated nation in a few years more!
Then we have the most delightful appointment of all, our beloved ‘Muthu’ being appointed as deputy minister for ‘minor export crop promotion’, whatever that means. It is difficult to imagine anything related to Muthu being ‘minor’ but I’m sure Mahinda maama has picked the right man for the job.
One of those reasons, I suspect, was that he wanted to balance the Cabinet of ministers with the team of deputy ministers. Why, since the Cabinet has Mervyn, what better way to balance it than appointing Muthu to the team of deputy ministers?
Many will criticise this appointment saying Muthu is not fit for the job but he is the only man in the current government who was ordered by court to have his head examined and was declared as being of sound mind! If everyone in the government took that test, I’m not sure how many would pass!
Even with all these ministerial appointments, I’m sure there will be a few who would still be unhappy and wonder why they were not appointed. After all, now only a few dozen government MPs are not ministers and they must be feeling left out.
For example, there is Doctor Sudarshini, a ‘real’ doctor at that, who has not been appointed as a deputy minister while Muthu has been appointed a minister. But then, Mahinda maama works in mysterious way and as long as he can win elections, what does it really matter?
For those who are disappointed at not being appointed, my advice is to wait in hope. There is speculation that the appointment of ‘district’ ministers will follow soon and after all, we are a rich country where a few more ministerial appointments will not be a burden on the general public!
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: I heard that there are a few questions as to why young Namal was not appointed a deputy minister. I think that is because Mahinda maama wants to show by example that nepotism has no place in his government. And who knows, maybe he also wants to teach young Sajith a lesson to demonstrate that you can’t expect to receive positions just because you happen to be a President’s son!
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