5th Column
Man up Manmohan!
View(s):My Dear Manmohan,
I thought I must write to you when I heard that you were still to decide whether or not you would be attending the Commonwealth Summit in our country next month. Frankly, I am a bit amused by all this fuss-I didn’t know you were such an important person.
Let’s be honest, Manmohan, it is not as if you were jumping up and down in joy at the prospect of dropping in at Colombo for a few days to have a powwow with other world leaders: you were always trying to find an excuse not to be here, weren’t you?
I think this all started when that Canadian chap started calling for a boycott. Of course, we understand why and that is because he has hundreds of thousands of voters who want this done. Why, if he is such a champion of human rights, he should be talking about what Obama is doing with his drones!
Now, apart from the Canadian fellow, you are the only chap who wouldn’t be here. All the other big names in the Commonwealth will be here: the Aussies will be here because they want to stop the flow of our ‘refugees’, The Kiwis will be here to sell their milk powder and even the Brits will be here.
Of course Good old Lizzie will not be here to chair the meeting as she usually does and they say that is because she cannot travel long distances anymore but I suspect it has more to do with the babysitting arrangements at Buckingham, where Wills and Kate need a hand with little boy George.
Instead, charming Charles will be here and wouldn’t it be wonderful to have someone who became a grandfather before he became King to chair the meeting? Anyway, he was here for our golden jubilee of independence as well and was kept waiting by Satellite, so he is familiar with our ways!
But you on the other hand, Manmohan, need not be here because in the past few decades you and your country have shown us how much you really care about our country-and what you have done about it. So, there is no need to be here to tell us how you feel.
Why, there was the time in the ‘80s when Indira trained a little baby Tiger cub called Prabhakaran. I daresay that without Indira’s help at that time, he wouldn’t have grown up in to the big boy that he eventually became. That is why we say that we know exactly how you feel about us.
In the late eighties, even after Indira had been killed by separatists in your own country, her son arm-twisted JR into signing an Accord, after air dropping parippu over the North when our troops were about to gain control there. Again, that is why we say that we know exactly how you feel about us.
Recently, when Uncle Sam brought a resolution against us at the UN, you supported it at the eleventh hour after suggesting all long that you may vote against it-and it was not because you were compelled to please Uncle Sam either. So, that is also why we say that we know exactly how you feel about us.
Now, we understand you have to face an election next year and after so many years in office, your government is not exactly at its most popular point right now. That is why you cannot afford to lose support in Tamil Nadu-and that will be a reason why you don’t want to be anywhere near Colombo!
Jayalalithaa has already passed a ‘unanimous’ resolution in Tamil Nadu saying you should not attend but isn’t it a case of the tail wagging the dog, Manmohan? If some past-her-prime movie star is telling you where to go and where not to go, is it worth being the leader of the world’s largest democracy?
You must surely know, Manmohan, that your days at the top are numbered-until Sonia makes a move to appoint her son for the top job. So, you can rest assured that the show will go on in Colombo despite your absence which is why I don’t understand what this fuss is all about.
After all, we know that the CHOGM is nothing but a talk shop with no real clout. But then, it does give us a chance to get our roads repaired and our buildings painted while Mahinda maama gets an opportunity to show the world what a great statesman he is. How can we forego that?
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-I hope, Manmohan, you know what CHOGM stands for-and therefore what you are missing. No, it doesn’t stand for the ‘Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting’. Both for those visiting us and for the powers that be in our own country, it stands for ‘Chaps Holidaying on Government Money’!