Columns
The 7 Herculean Labours of Minister No 70
View(s):Just when the new seventieth minister of the UPFA Cabinet S. M. Chandrasiri thought he could rest on his laurels on being appointed minister last month after his supporters in his Anuradhapura electorate took it upon themselves to halt the infamous Channel 4′ news team’s train journey to Kilinochchi literally in its tracks, the Christmas message from the President’s Office to him this week would have shattered his illusion of enjoying a comfortable cosy ride on the cabinet gravy train paid for by the ever munificent public ever ready to further enrich an MP upon his elevation to cabinet rank.
The publication of his duties as the Minister of Special Projects in the gazette would have brought him down to earth when he beheld the concomitant responsibilities he has been charged with and realised, to his chagrin, that his days as the languid lotus eater and occasional railway station master are over.
But such are the wages of talent. No rest for the gifted, the responsible, and the efficient. Reading the gazette would surely have made him flip to note that the heavy burdens of public office have been placed on his untested shoulders; that the nation has finally called on him to exercise the multitude of talents perceived to be at his command to resolve the plethora of problems that beset the thrice blessed land of his birth.
Compared to the seven Herculean labours he has been entrusted with, even the Prime Minister’s onerous duties which mainly consist of to oversee the Buddha Sassana Ministry and of late to ensure that his personal secretaries do not issue chits on his behalf to clear heroin imports from the Port with a waiver of demurrage charges to boot, must now seem child’s play to him.
Mr. Chandrasena is the man of the hour and he should know it, and if he doesn’t he should be told. Given the long catalogue of his gazetted responsibilities, it should be clearly explained to him exactly what is expected of him for the fate of Lanka may well hang precariously in the balance upon the mettle of his performance.
So what are these powers, duties and responsibilities that one small man from the backwaters of Lanka’s glorious Anuradhapura past of famed Sinhala Yodhayas, is summoned to bear and expected to discharge at the eleventh hour?
As his first task, he has to “formulate special programmes and projects in areas that require priority attention based on the Mahinda Chinthanaya.” This will require him to identify the areas which need priority attention under the leader’s vision requiring in turn a thorough grasp of what that vision is. Then, after first determining whether the word ‘area’ refers to a geographical area or a subject, he must burn the midnight oil devising programmes and projects to suit the locality or the subject whatever it maybe. Quite a tall order when you consider that what is required of him is to turn the vision into action, to create a pragmatic value to the idea. But that’s not the end of the matter.
For, as his second task, he must not only formulate but also “direct the implementation of such policies, programmes and projects.” He must do so not in isolation and at his own pace but within agreed timelines agreed with the national planning authorities. He must also keep a hawkish eye on the allowed budget and ensure that no overspending is done. And that the desired relevant objectives are achieved. Many talents are required to fulfil this task. The roles of director, implementator, coordinator, financial supervisor, and target achiever, all jumbled into one, are expected to be found incarnate in the flesh and blood of S. M. Chandrasena now a.k.a Super Man Chandrasena, who would have the nation wondering — and the wonder would, with each passing day, grow — whether one small head would be enough to hold all what he would surely have to know.
Special Project minister Chandrasena
Thirdly he will have to provide for all public services that come under his purview. And he must do so efficiently and in a people-friendly manner. The ambit of his purview is not spelt out and thus would test his clairvoyance and PR skills to the utmost.
If the above three were not arduous enough, the fourth is an absolute killer. Chandrasena, charged with the labours of Hercules, must feel that he is also called upon, like Atlas, to hold the world on his shoulders when he ponders his fourth task. A man of a lesser God would no doubt crack under the weight of just fathoming out what his fourth labour really means and exactly what he has to accomplish but no doubt Chandrasena is made of sterner stuff and is, possibly, a creation of the Almighty himself.
Consider his fourth task: “Reforming of all systems and procedures to ensure the conduct of business in an efficient manner deploying modern management techniques and technology where applicable while eliminating corruption and waste.”
Rather a mouthful, isn’t it? Is it too much of a bite even for him to chew? Consider what is demanded. Intense study into all the present systems and procedures. Identifying the specific areas that need to be reformed or even replaced in to-to. Formulating reforms. Considering whether they are better than those that presently exist. If so whether they will ensure that the conduct of the business, whatever the business maybe, is efficiently carried out using modern management techniques and state of the art technologies, irrespective of the cost provided it is applicable which will necessitate a further intense investigation into whether such techniques and technologies are applicable in each and every individual case. Even a professor with a double doctorate will find it hard to tackle all these.
And then comes the killer blow. All this must be done while eliminating corruption and waste. In the process of performing his onerous task, Mr. Chandrasena would find himself elevated to the powerful position of Bribery Commissioner Extraordinary and Director General of Government Waste Disposal. Compared to this, Hercules had it easy cleaning the Aegean Stables.
Fifthly, “Development and extension of Agricultural Enterprises.” Though this, too, deals with a wide area, the ambit of which is not defined, it is the one task which bears a silver lining to Chandrasena’s otherwise dark cloud of despair. His family occupation as a farmer and his passing acquaintance with agriculture as Agrarian Services Minister from 2010 to 2012 would stand in good stead and will give some confidence to his ego and a boost to his morale, even if, given the infinite number of enterprises that exist, this is akin to being asked to first count the stars in the night time sky.
The sixth task: “Identification of environmental factors that contribute to the increase in the number of Kidney patients” is relatively easy because the environmental factor has already been identified by scientists as being effluence pouring into streams and rivers and polluting the soil and wells.
His final task, God bless him, is “To assist other ministers in the implementation of special project.” This calls for him to be indispensable, to make life easier for them having the odd job Chandrasena to go marketing, to carry the can when things go awry while they take the kudos if it comes out roses.
But the wonder of it all is that this man for all reasons will have to execute his duties singlehandedly for he has not been assigned any departments, public corporations or statutory institutions not even an implementing agency for any laws. And all his tasks must be executed simultaneously. His brief does not empower him with a step by step op. But no doubt given the confidence placed upon him, he will not come a cropper.
Mr. Chandrasena’s duties and the near plenipotentiary powers he had been sceptred with, if exercised adroitly, are the stuff that makes men legends in their own lifetime. What possible quirk of karma could have made opportunity land on his doorstep uninvited? Had he done some meritorious act in a previous birth for which he has now been richly rewarded? Or are the labours that now face him a penance he has to perform to atone for a sin committed in a prior existence, like Hercules who, for slaying his six sons and wife, had to be purified by King Thespius and thereafter, to atone for his crime, had to perform ten labours to gain immortality?
But then there are ways and means of turning one’s labours into labours of love. And Mr. Chandrasena is in a unique position for his job description demands he must coordinate with all sixty nine ministries. That calls for the appointment of 69 secretaries to co ordinate with each ministry. And who better to appoint as coordinating secretaries, especially these days, than the ones you trust most: members of your own family.
Thus the next step before formulations of any kind are made is to embark with a family of secretaries on fact finding tours abroad to inquire how projects and policies relevant to each ministry are formulated and implemented and to examine the systems and procedures existing in those countries. For instance, to gain firsthand knowledge of policies and projects concerning, as an example, the Department of Archeology, he will find it is vital to visit the Pyramids in Egypt; Scientific Affairs, Japan; Tourism, Bali, Seychelles, Hawaii, Paris; Cultural Affairs, Hollywood, Los Angeles; Sports, MCC Australia; Parliamentary Affairs, Athens, Greece; Economic and Consumer Affairs, London, Oxford Street; Casinos, Las Vegas; Finance, Switzerland; Wild Life, Kruger Park Safari, South Africa; Women’s Affairs, Red light District, Amsterdam (Solo trip without family to save public money); the list is endless to the enterprising mind.. Before he can visit even half of the countries on his itinerary it will be time for elections back home and formulation of special projects will be long forgotten.
And now, in the midst of an effervescent touch of light relief at the end of another despondent year, let me raise a hearty toast to the New Year and wish it will dawn bliss, health and prosperity upon you all. May all beings, like Minister No. 70 Chandrasena, be happy.