Who are you at work?
View(s):Amongst many circles, increasing our sphere of social awareness would leave us in good stead.
We hear about intelligence of all forms and recognise the value of Intelligence Quotient, Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence, in growing into our success at work and in life. The problem is that even though we recognise the importance of it, we somehow fail to fully utilize its tools in reality, the opportunities that are freely available… that is till we learn it the hard way.
It was not till last night, that I felt the burden in my heart to ‘know’, I mean ‘really know’ about the people around us who assist us in many ways no matter how small they may be), to get through the day at work. It was a facebook update by a manager in the client’s office that threw me off my feet, who mentioned ‘the guy who does the photo copies has been killed in a road accident. May he rest in peace’. My heart skipped a beat, first of course to have heard about such terrible news about his death that took me by surprise, especially given how young he was. And, then the afterthought.How can we not know his name? Even though I am at this clients’ office two days a week for half a day and even though he is fairly new to the company, I would still pass his small cubicle where he would attend to many a request by persons who come to him for printing and stationary. I would sometimes smile or nod, depending on how busy he was and that was the only communication I remember having with him in the past three months. Some life lessons are way too harsh and to ignore them is to encourage a culture of disconnected individuals in their own pursuit of success.
This may be an isolated incident, hence I will be cautious in generalising it, knowing that there are companies due to its size, ownership, procedures or general culture, that are closely knitted to begin with. But I like to ask a simple question… how many of us know about the people who guard our offices, help us park our vehicles, vacuum our carpets and clean our toilets? True, they may be outsourced staff, but have we taken time to smile, say hello or to really know about them when time has permitted that privilege. There have been many incidents reported in Sri Lanka of individuals who have attempted suicide or committed suicide without people in their immediate surroundings not really noticing the many clues they have given over a period of time.
How can we know? Where is the time? We may say. To know, we have to make a conscious effort to want to be more aware of our surroundings and please note that this is very different from being nosy. TIME is crucial but time is also a perception. Rushing from one meeting to the other, one email to the next and one call to another call, time creates an illusion of a continuous rat-race. Once again I am not generalizing this article to all people in all job sectors, but I am sure that we would all be able to identify with the busyness and stress that makes us forget about our immediate surrounding, this is integral to what we call social intelligence(SI).
SI is our ability to effectively negotiate social relationships and environments. Scientists say that SI is a measure of self in relation to his/her awareness of the social surrounding, social beliefs and attitudes, and one’s capacity to manage complex social change.
No doubt, we all want to become better human beings and no doubt we all understand the value of others and social interactions in the partnerships we make in our life journeys. The problem may be in our perceptions of whom we should interact with and whom we shouldn’t, the culture that suppresses the dignity of labour, our own selfish pursuit of success and how success in many ways is defined in terms of power, money, wealth and prestige.
Individualism has no place in SI. SI is about the horizontal expansion of our social spheres with enriching relationships that are not always guided by agendas.
Outcomes of high SI at work are high team effectiveness, clarity in the exchange of ideas, empathy and the ability to connect with others, the ability to read situations and foresee outcomes and to interpret/predict the behaviours of others in those situations, the ability to maintain one’s ‘presence’ in the minds of others (how they may remember you), authenticity and the behaviours that cause others to judge you as someone who is honest, open and real. All of the above are instrumental in creating a humanistic work culture that is healthier and happier to be a part of. There is some evidence in research that goes to say that such organisations are more resilient and hardy in the face of change and more over, high in loyalty and effectiveness. Knowing your employees well also plays a crucial role in motivating them to deliver their best. Furthermore, when employees know each other well and their true intentions, they seldom fight and criticise fellow workers thereby building a caring community.
The good news is that we could always practice our SI, when we become aware of the scope of growth opportunities around us. It is more in the’ knowing’ than in the ‘doing’. When we ‘know’ more, we can be more. Sooner or later, we need to realise that the true success of an individual is ultimately measured in relation to what he does for others or his/her community. It is the single most powerful determinant of what legacy one would leave behind.
It is said that people may forget what you said or what you did, but people would never forget how you made them feel.
(Rozaine is a Business Psychologist, consultant and a university lecturer based in Colombo. She can be contacted via email on rozaine@forte.lk,
www.forte.lk)