5th Column
Raring to return from retirement
View(s):My Dear Satellite,
I heard that you had been quite busy over the past few days, writing letters to Mahinda maama and then releasing those letters to the media so that we could read what it was all about. So, I thought I should indulge in some correspondence of my own with you.
I heard that although Mahinda maama himself has not said anything, his secretary, that Lalith chap has written to you. The tone of his letter was quite rude too, considering that he is only a minion and a foot solider and you were a former Queen, but it maybe that he was trying to be his master’s voice!
We heard that you were making such a fuss because you thought you were being followed and that people you talked to were being questioned afterwards. Now, I don’t know whether that really happens or not but if I were you, I wouldn’t be unhappy, even if someone did that.
Do you remember, Satellite, that there was a time — when you were the Boss, of course — when the media followed your every move and even told us how late you were for meetings and what was on your menu and what you ate and drank?
Surely you must recall the time when Geneva Losing was giving you legal advice and you tried to punish newspapers and their editors and send them to jail for simply reporting on which birthday parties you attended and what your tastes in food were. Ah, those were the days, weren’t they?
Now that it has been almost ten years since you retired — or were forced to ‘retire hurt’ — I don’t think anyone really cares about where you are and what you do, which is why I think you should be happy if someone is indeed following you about — that simply means that you are too important to be forgotten.
I think you would agree that the bosses who retired before you kept well away from the limelight after they left their jobs. As a result, they were able to spend the twilight of their lives comfortably and peacefully without ruffling the feathers of the new powers that be.
Surely, someone must have told you the story of how many people appealed to the Old Fox at Ward Place to make a comeback when his successor died suddenly in a bomb blast. And the man who yearned for absolute power most of his political life gave only one answer: a definite ‘no’.
Then there was Dearly Beloved who you had to deal with when you first took over the reins. Well, he didn’t do much work when he was in power anyway because others ran the show for him but he too went away quietly when you took over although some Greens wanted him to stay on and fight.
Satellite, I know that you retired when you were only sixty years of age whereas the Old Fox was eighty three years old when he retired and Dearly Beloved was seventy eight years of age when he called it a day. After all you are still only a few months older than Mahinda maama himself!
You must know by now that once you are out of power, you are a ‘nobody’. I heard that some of your former ministers avoid you when they meet you in public. With ministers like Geneva Losing and Seeni Bola who have been ministers for you, Uncle Ranil and Mahinda maama, that is not surprising.
Of course there are exceptions to the rule like Avamangala who follow you faithfully, although that hasn’t got him very far. The poor fellow has a talent for ruining whatever party he is in, but I do admire his guts for standing up for what he believes in and saying what he has to say.
But I suppose all this fuss about you is because there is talk that you would be running as the ‘common’ presidential candidate at the next elections against Mahinda maama and it appears as if some people are getting worried about that.
I know that the opposition doesn’t have a candidate that stands a good chance against Mahinda maama because the Greens can’t get their act together and the General doesn’t have his civic rights, but surely Satellite, you wouldn’t want to do that to the country you love so much, would you?
You made a mistake by not building enough places that carry your name, so people can remember you. Mahinda maama already has a port, an airport, a theatre, a cricket ground and a school named after him and he isn’t even finished yet. You have only a ‘weva’ — -and that was named by your mother!
Think about all this, Satellite, before you put pen to paper the next time and send copies to the media — or else you may even be accused of masterminding what happened in Geneva on Thursday. Why, that Lalith chap hinted at that too. It is best to let bygones be bygones — and that includes you as well!
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: No matter what your faults are, I do admire you for one decision: not allowing your children to enter politics. From what we have seen so far, the nineteenth amendment to the Constitution should be one that bans the children of leaders from entering politics, don’t you think?