Appreciations
View(s):Dr. Wilfred J. Perera
You filled our lives with love and joy
It’s been a year, and I still fail to find the words to describe the irreplaceable void you have left in our lives. I’m not exactly sure how to even begin to write an appreciation for someone as extraordinary as you, someone who has given so much.
My first love, my hero, my inspiration, Thaththa you made unbelievable sacrifices for the people you loved, and lived through example. You are the most divine human being I have ever met. I can’t begin to express how proud I am to be your daughter, and when I say this, I speak for Mihiri and Dhananji as well. I know we weren’t easy kids, being three girls, we were naughtier than some boys. Although we didn’t get to pick you for our father, I was always glad that Amma chose so well. You always let us be ourselves, never demanded things from us, you didn’t impose restrictions, you let us make our own choices, our mistakes, and whenever we failed you never looked at us with disappointment, instead you were there silently, always a pillar of strength that got us through the storms.
You played many roles; the friend who could be counted on, the favourite teacher, the boss who was looked up to with respect, the colleague who went the extra mile, the brother who could always be depended on, the fun uncle who was an integral part of any family function, an amazing husband and undoubtedly the best father in the world.
You always believed in making a difference.The hundreds of people who gathered at our home a year ago, is a testimony to the wonderful difference you made, the many lives you touched. You were known and well respected in the education field. You believed in sharing the gift of knowledge and wisdom as widely as possible. I’ve lost count of the number of people who said what an immense vacuum losing you was to the country’s education system and their lives.Today, more than the vacuum, what I remember is how much love and joy you filled our lives with, which can never be taken away from us – a blessing we will hold eternal.
I know there’s nothing you’d dislike more than to see us cry, see us sad. The love you gave us has given us the strength to carry on. One of the many lessons you taught us was to smile through the struggles, and never to let life get us down. You always had a smile, a joke to share, had the ability to make best of every situation. You always made people around you so happy. You were taken from us way too soon, but God surely had better plans for you. I think of you every day, and wish I can live to be half the person you were.
In our hearts, you will live forever Thaththa-the strength, the smile, the lessons you taught and your unconditional love, will be cherished, forever. I know that you’re making a wonderful difference in heaven, with Amma right by your side.
Love always,
Loku Du
Dishnika Perera
Suja Ranawana
Her life will be remembered as family legend
“How many loved your moments of glad grace”
-W.B.Yeats, ‘When You are Old’
“As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame”
-G.M Hopkins, S.J ‘As Kingfishers catch fire’
Suja Ranawana, nee Bibile, my grandmother, passed away in March at her home in Watapuluwa, Kandy, where she had lived for more than 50 years. In our family, she was amongst the last of her generation and with her demise, it feels as if an entire – and much more gracious – age has gone.
Families endure through lore. What we will remember of our predecessors is what we are told of them, and how we are invited to engage with their stories. What stories can I tell of a grandmother who will, in time, pass into family legend? Perhaps of how much she loved cricket, so much so that she would sometimes park her car at a vantage point at the Asgiriya End so that she would have the best view over the bowler’s arm of a Trinity home game. Or even of the time that she packed all her young children into the car and drove the long miles from Bibile to Kandy to tend to her sick husband. Maybe I will speak of the girl who grew up with five brothers and loved to roll car tyres with them, even if she was wearing the lama saree. Or that my most vivid memories of her involve the happiness that filled her face whenever she went out into her garden, striding around in a blouse and a lungi; tiny, and determined, instructing me on the best way to grow roses. Mostly, I will speak of how she painted a picture of Sri Lanka that her grandchildren could never know; a Sri Lanka that did not yearn for idyll and calm, but which, in her childhood, seems lit with the sweet radiance of peace.
She lived always with such vigour and joy. She managed her house and her household, and even, to a considerable extent, the community that she lived in. Many will remember that she was one of the chief movers and shakers behind the Kandy Housing Society, the brainchild of Mrs. Lorna Wright. Atthammi would easily rank amongst a list of the strongest feminists of our country, in that respect, for, the building of the houses in this society was no small task, and was met with many objections some bureaucratic, and some the demurring of gentlemen who did not feel that women had enough knowledge to construct houses.
For a woman who did go in for higher education, she was extremely well-read. She enjoyed and knew by heart many of the poets from the canon, like Wordsworth, Tennyson and Yeats.
She loved formal dancing and would frequent the “Tea Dances” at the Watapuluwa Club house.
Capable and strong-willed, Aththammi never belonged exclusively to us. It would be wrong for us to claim her in this way because she saw herself as ours, but also as being of service to others. Tootling around Kandy town in that oh-so-recognisable green Morris Minor, who did not know the indomitable Mrs. Suja Ranawana? The tales of all the people she assisted have been pouring in to us from everywhere; people she nursed, children she helped to get into school, individuals seeking refuge who she housed in her home, the knitwear she made for babies, friends and family. Even far displaced from Sri Lanka, in the Great White North of Edmonton, Alberta, I met a lady who, upon being introduced, embraced me and said, “Are you Mrs Ranawana’s grand-daughter? Why, your grandmother helped me so much.”
How typical it has become for me to hear this. I knew this already, of course, for I was blessed to have a grandmother who appreciated, and responded, in kind, to my voluminous hand written letters. My grandmother who would find an article on a subject that interested me, and would send me a clipping, post- haste. My grandmother who nurtured my love to read, who loved my fascination with the quaint, who shared my pilgrim-soul, and who was, always, a good friend.
She was all these things because of the way in which she loved. She loved her family fiercely and would defend them against all odds. Her sons knew that whatever they did, and however she dealt with them in private, to the outside world they did no wrong.
She was profoundly political, supporting various causes and making no secret of what she thought of leaders and parties in power. Even in her later years, she would discourse at length on the political situation of the day.
Certainly, in love, we all acquit ourselves imperfectly. Yet, in being able to love, and making that love manifest for others, we show our realisation that “something, other than oneself, is real”. For my Aththammi, there was always this; the knowledge of things beyond, of that aspect of the world that was much greater, and of the conjoined natures of brutality and sweetness that beget the realities we encounter outside of ourselves. Towards this, she moved with energy and joy, and suffused with this vibrancy will she find her place in family lore.
-Anupama M.Ranawana
Punnakanthi de Silva (nee de Soysa)
Generous in thought and deed
It is three months since Punnakanthi passed away.
She was a dear friend – in recent times only heard of, but hardly seen, due to her ill health. She passed away just after her 68th birthday.
A school friend who helped her Alma Mater whenever funds were needed by the school, this support she gave even after leaving school 50 years ago! Her only child Anjalee became the school’s Head Prefect.
A social service worker having membership in several associations, and societies, she supported the All Ceylon Women’s Buddhist Congress which was close to her heart.
Her late mother Yoga de Soysa was a member all her life, and her only aunt, the late Chandra de Zoysa was once its president. Her aunt would call upon her generous niece Punnakanthi, to fund any ongoing project. She never hesitated to give a big donation.
I was once caring for the elders’ home at the A.C.W.B.C. and at the mention that I was in need of a Medicine Cupboard, she provided it, cramming into it a whole lot of expensive medicines, crepe bandages, ice bag, thermometers and equipment that I had not imagined!
Recently, she gave a handsome donation of Rs.1 million to this Congress, to support the new Hospice. She was also a chief guest on a couple of occasions at its Avurudu Pola -the main fundraiser of A.C.W.B.C.
As a pretty young girl, she had a high sense of fashion. Matching shoes, bags and accessories to go with each and every outfit she wore. This included her school uniform that had a pocket with her name embroidered. Our school uniform did not provide for a pocket!
Her close school friends were in her home often. Food flowed and she had a band in attendance when those friends asked for an evening of song and dance! Such was her caring.
My friend’s withdrawal from social events was sudden. She looked tired. She lost lustre.
However, her interest in the Dhamma never waned. There were many temples and bhikkhus she supported for a long time, too many to list.
Three friends met at tea about a month before she passed away. We all fought to pay the bill, but she just overruled us with a smile and firmly said that it was her treat. We gave in!
She knew London well. Her numerous visits to London generally involved medical check-ups even when she was in school. Latterly though, these visits to London were just for a holiday. Going to the theatre and Oxford Street shopping were a treat for her! I conclude with the thought that she was magnanimous in thought and deed.
May her journey through Samsara be short, and may she be able always to hear the Buddha Dhamma.
-Ramani
Orianna Fredericks (nee Gerlach)
Remembered with love
Loving memories keep you near
As time unfolds another year
In our hearts you will always stay
Still loved, still missed,
Still very near.
May you rest in peace, darling Ola
-Ever-loving H &H and all your loved ones