Ruby Ariaratnam – a truly grand old lady
She smiled serenely at me when I asked her whether, when she was younger, she had thought she might live to be a hundred. Gently shaking her head, she said, “Never! But by the grace of God, here I am.”
Everybody calls her Ruby, but her given names when she was born on August 5th, 1914, were Georgianna Athisiyamaney. Her son, Selvam, with whom she now lives, says it was her father who first called his baby daughter Ruby and the name stuck. Nobody calls her anything else.
Living life to the full: Ruby Ariaratnam. Pic by M.A. Pushpa Kumara
Ruby’s maiden name was Daniel and her father and grandfather on both sides of the family, were clerics. Two were Anglican priests and two were Methodist ministers, so she had a strong Christian upbringing in an environment that was mainly Hindu. Ruby attended Chundikuli Girls College. The Jaffna in which she grew up was a very happy place where there was a strong sense of community.
In 1938, Ruby married B. Vythilingam Ariaratnam, an engineer in the Ceylon Government Railway (CGR) who rose to be District Engineer and was in charge of the railway tracks in the whole district. Selvam, mentioned to me that he had three brothers. Ruby told me softly that between her third and fourth sons, she had a baby daughter who died in infancy. Mr. Ariaratnam was constantly on the move, due to the nature of his duties and was provided with living quarters and servants wherever he went. Ruby remained in Jaffna because of the boys’ schooling at St. John’s College and it was only during the school holidays that the familywent to be with their father, wherever he happened to be stationed at the time.
I asked Ruby whether it was tough bringing up four boys on her own. She smiled and Selvam broke in to say, “She had a cane which she didn’t hesitate to use when she thought it necessary! She was a great disciplinarian.”They had time to play with their friends, but their mother made sure that they didn’t neglect their studies – “study!” was a word that was daily on her lips, he said. Family prayers were held unfailingly at 8 p.m. every day, before dinner. “This was also the time when Mother commented on any misdemeanours we had been guilty of during the day,” Selvam added.
Ruby’s eldest son Rajan’s wife, Vimalini had flown in from Singapore for Ruby’s birthday and it was she who suggested that I interview her mother-in-law. Ruby lives in a second floor flat in the Bambalapitiya Flats and because I, at age 89, would have difficulty in mounting the stairs, it was the centenarian who came to my house to meet me! I also learned that this indomitable lady would not dream of missing Sunday morning service at St. Paul’s, Milagiriya. I’m writing this on August 5 and I know that Ruby took the stairs, down and up, to attend the early morning service with her family, to give thanks to God on her 100th birthday.
She herself was hesitant to speak of her life in Jaffna, but Selvam and Vimalini said that everyone in the area came to Ruby for help – “It was a case of people coming in and calling out `Ruby Akka,’ or ` Ruby Auntie’ or just `Ruby’, to ask for her assistance in sorting out some issue. If any woman in the vicinity was having a baby, she liked to have Ruby at her side, so she would pack her bag and go off, leaving her sons in the care of her trustworthy servants. She acted as unofficial midwife at the delivery of countless babies,” Vimalini said.
Selvam also recalled how the J.M.O (Judicial Medical Officer), who lived next door to her, had a running battle with his neighbour on the other side and the whole neighbourhood was aware of the hostility between the two men. One day, there was a huge commotion and everybody rushed out. When Ruby arrived on the scene, the neighbour was brandishing a knife and making for the J.M.O as the crowd stood frozen. Ruby darted out, went behind the threatening man and hugged him tight around his waist, keeping her hold on him until he dropped the knife and everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief. She did what no male in that crowd had attempted. I looked at her when the tale was told and she smiled gently and said, “I didn’t feel there was any danger in doing what I did.”
Ruby was an active member of the Jaffna YWCA, under whose auspices she managed a vocational school for girl school leavers. Here, they learned sewing, cookery, typing etc. She held various positions in the Y and was eventually elected President of the Jaffna YWCA, a very popular choice.
This year, Ruby received a very special award from the YWCA of Sri Lanka. A plaque was presented to her on April 24 – World YWCA Day, with the citation: A special token of appreciation and gratitude for the rich volunteerism and service rendered by Mrs. Ruby Ariyaratnam to the YWCA of Sri Lanka. In as much as you did to the least of my children, you did it unto me”.
She also represented Chundikuli on the Board of Governors of CMS Schools and was Warden of Christ Church.
Then came the war years. Ruby’s house was fairly close to the Fort and when our soldiers were trapped inside the Fort, our ‘planes flew over to drop food and ammunition and also bombs which sometimes missed their targets. Ruby moved to the comparative safety of her brother’s house in their home-town of Kopay, five miles away. Two families comprising 15 people were crowded in there.
A bunker was constructed in the garden where they would all take shelter when there was any alarm, but Ruby and her brother were always the last to seek refuge.
Ruby’s marriage had been a very happy one. Her husband had a great sense of humour and liked to tease his wife about all the people who continually came to her for succour. They kept open house and Ruby seemed to be able to produce a meal for unexpected guests as if by magic. Ruby murmured to me: “I had learned not to get excited, but to do whatever I could in the circumstances.” Said Vimalini: “I told her that her heart was bigger than her house!”
She had once complained to her husband that he was never at home and she had to go alone to pay her respects at funeral houses, adding that if he himself died, it would be all women who came to his funeral. He at once said: “Well, I’ll be blessed to have so many ladies come to see me off!” Mr. Ariaratnam passed away in March 1983. Ruby suffered another cruel blow when her third son, Kulam, died two years later.
In 1990, Selvam and family decided to leave Jaffna for Colombo, but Ruby refused to go with them.However, in 1991, she was persuaded to leave with Kulam’s widow and children. Their journey was quite an adventure in itself, but space doesn’t permit me to go into details. They had to leave with only whatever they could each take in a kit bag. Ruby had to leave behind all hertreasured possessions. I could imagine what it must have been like to come to live in a second floor flat in Colombo and I said to her that life here must have been a sharp contrast to life in the Jaffna in which she grew up. She replied quietly, “We have to learn to adjust to changes that may become necessary as we grow old.”
Her four children, six grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren have all converged on Colombo from distant places, to honour her. On August 9, the family had planned a thanksgiving service at St. Paul’s, followed by dinner at the Cinnamon Grand.
Who can doubt that it would have been an evening that left jewelled memories in the hearts of all who were privileged to be present? I can’t help thinking that when her father called her Ruby, he intuitively recognised that his daughter would prove to be “a gem of purest ray serene”!