5th Column
Come on, common candidate!
View(s):
My Dear Common Candidate,
I thought I must write to you — whoever you are — because everyone is searching high and low for you these days. Despite various reports about various people from time to time, no one seems to have found you yet — and time is running out because Mahinda maama may soon call for elections.
I am told that you may come in the form of someone from the Green camp who contested twice and lost, once to Satellite because Velupillai injured her in an assassination attempt a few days before the election and then again to Mahinda maama because Velupillai ordered a boycott of the election.
If you come in that form, I’m afraid your prospects won’t be that good. Mahinda maama’s publicity machine will promptly label you a ‘Tiger’ even though you are not one — and you would do well to remember that this label was designed for you by that innocent fashion designer who is now with you.
I am also told that the common candidate may come in the form of a General who ran the last race. I won’t rate your prospects that high because I’m not even sure that you would be allowed to run the race again because no one is sure whether you have your civic rights.
Even if you were allowed to run the race, General, your previous performance convinced most of us that while you were an excellent performer on the battlefield, you weren’t cut out to be a politician. So, many people would think twice before voting for you again.
Then there is a lot of speculation that you will come in the form of a Buddhist monk who is promising to abolish the Executive Presidency. I think that might be a noble concept but I am not sure whether Buddhist monks command that level of respect anymore, though that is not a fault of this monk.
Then, you may come in the form of an elderly gentleman from the Green Camp. That is an idea worthwhile examining because you may be able to give Mahinda maama a run for his money, but I am not sure whether others in your own camp will allow you to be the candidate.
If you were to come in the form of this gentleman, there is always your history of taking seventeen Greens to join Mahinda maama and then returning empty-handed to the Greens. If you were to become the common candidate, we will hear more of that and your chances will be in doubt.
Of course, you may come in the form of a young man in a hurry from the same camp. Many people believe you need to be patient instead of demanding the party leadership as if it was a family heirloom, so your claims will always be suspect.
I suppose it would be fair to say you have caused a lot of damage to the unity of the Green Camp. So, even if you become the ‘common’ candidate, there will be many within your own party who would not want you to win and you will have to be more careful about them than about your Blue rivals!
You could also come in the form of someone who has already enjoyed that job, not once but twice. That would of course be a pity because we haven’t still forgotten how you promised not once but twice to abolish the Executive Presidency, but didn’t do so.
As you well know, nothing much happened in the country during your eleven years of rule and I don’t think many people have fond memories of that era. Yes, a few Blues who do not like Mahinda maama’s style of government may side with you but frankly, I don’t think that would be enough.
You may also come in the form of the rathu sahodaraya who has recently been elected to lead the Red party. I must say that of all the contenders, you seem to be a very sane and sensible person and you are making good progress as a much respected leader of a major party.
Even then, most people will not be able to forget the insurrections of 1971 and 1989 and how your party was responsible for the deaths of thousands of youth in those dark days. I am afraid that, and the leftist outlook of your party would mean that you too wouldn’t stand much of a chance.
After looking at all these ‘common’ candidates, I can see that the only ‘common’ factor among them is that none of them is as popular as Mahinda maama. So, my prediction is that after all this fuss about a common candidate, we may end with a result that has been common over the last ten years!
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: I am now told that the common candidate may also come in the form of someone from the Bodu Bala Sena. We all know what the outcome of that will be but it will be fun to watch what would seem like Mervyn in a saffron robe!