Sunday Times 2
Uncle Sam – just, temperate, brave and morally excellent
It is with great sadness that I write this appreciation to a person who I loved, respected, adored, and cared for so much — my Uncle Sam. He used to call me his third son because he and I shared a very special bond.
This all began when I was a young boy and used to go to his home at Lakmahal to spend the weekends with my cousin and friend Sanjiva. From that young age I began to be a part of his family growing up very close to him, his wife Aunty Mukta and their two sons Sanjiva and Rajiva and daughter Anila.
Sam Wijesinha: To his dying day his memory was better than Google!
So from childhood Uncle Sam and I developed a strong connection and a bond which grew stronger over the years and stood the test of time until his departure last Sunday.
I am writing this appreciation from my home in Britain and as sad as I am that I was not there in his final moments, we still made that connection; I spoke to him the day before he passed away. He said “Hello Raki” with the same fondness and affection he always greeted me with and I said the same, “Hello Uncle Sam”. Brief though this moment was, we both knew what it meant. I was also happy that I was able to pass on a message to his youngest son Rajiva to be shared with him after my brief call so he knew why I was not there and what I always felt for him.
I remember how he used to start his day with an early morning walk. He would then get dressed in his immaculate white suit and tie with a well-polished pair of leather shoes and set off to work at the Parliament. During his time as Secretary General of Parliament, a role which he held for 17 years, he made an unparalleled contribution to the history of this country. He raised the bar, and made the job of the Secretary General of Parliament one of the most prestigious offices in our country. He stood firm in the face of adversity and aggression, standing up for truth and fairness. He did not mince his words to tell someone off with his pithy Southern Province Sinhalese when they got out of line. Yet he had the manners and disposition of a fine cultured gentleman — truly an outstanding and dignified diplomat who could move easily with kings and presidents.
There was another significant role he performed during his time which many people outside his circles perhaps would not have known. For 25 long years he held the honorary post of Manager of Ladies’ College Colombo. Today I believe that this school owes a debt of gratitude to him — he steered Ladies’ College during his administration to be one of the foremost schools in the country.
He always prided himself on familiarising himself with all the facts relating to any situation he was involved in. There lay his inner strength as no one could battle with him. He also believed in detailed preparation and planning. He would often get me to repeat the 5 Ps – ‘Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performances’ and thus he ingrained in me the importance of this in our daily lives.
Whilst he was an avid reader and was up to date on any subject past or present, he focused most on his pet areas of history, politics, law and genealogy. To his dying day his memory was better than Google!
I have been truly blessed to have had the great privilege of having time with Uncle Sam at regular long afternoon lunches, evening coffees and Sunday lunches with a Gin and Thambili (which he introduced to me). During these quality moments I had the rare honour to listen and learn of people and family histories — and about some of the more fascinating personalities and events that have taken place in our country.
As the Chinese saying goes, listening to a wise man for one hour is better than reading a thousand books. This is so true.
It always baffled me as to how he was able to retain such a magnitude of extensive data and detail in his mind. It was a remarkable human quality I have never seen and undoubtedly will never see again.
He has shared with me his passion to see people being given the opportunity for good education and gainful employment as he always wanted to see individuals progress and become self-sufficient.
Secretly and silently he pursued this passion and I cannot even begin to share with you the number of people from all walks of life who he has helped, directed and guided during his lifetime. This is a legacy he leaves behind for generations to come as with his actions he has helped people to elevate themselves to higher platforms that will sustain and grow with these individuals through the passage of time for generations to follow.
He was a very amiable and hospitable person and always enjoyed getting people together. He took great pleasure and pride in hosting his meticulously organised social events. This he never stopped and continued to his last days. In his little black book he had all the telephone numbers and with this he was in control. His guest list was unimaginably wide and varied as were his creative occasions for getting people together. Let me share one such occasion. One day he called me and asked if my elder daughter would be free to come over for dinner with her husband. I asked, “Uncle Sam what is the occasion?” He replied, “I am having a few young couples who are in mixed marriages for an evening and it would be nice if your daughter and son-in-law too could grace the occasion.”
That was Uncle Sam, always unselfish and with a large warm heart. He created the occasion, found time for people, brought individuals together and created fellowship.
We will all miss his dinners and lunches and it will never be the same again in that wonderful household ‘Lakmahal’, without the genial host Uncle Sam.
As the years passed by Uncle Sam never had the words ‘slow down’ in his vocabulary. He continued with his honorary services in a multitude of tasks for the benefit of the nation. After his stint as the Ombudsmen, he was also the Chairman of the Human Rights Task Force and Chancellor of the Open University of Sri Lanka. In addition he found the time until his 92nd year to be the Chairman of the Prisoners Welfare Association.
He never hesitated to offer his services wherever it was needed. For anyone who came to him for his assistance he always had the time.
Uncle Sam had another amazing quality that he always found time to attend each and every function he was invited to. Weddings, birthdays, funerals, state functions, and so on and so forth the list goes on. He was there. This continued with the same emotion and vigour till the last six months of his life when he began having difficulty walking. His daughter Anila and I used to often ask “How on the earth does Thatha do this”? That was Uncle Sam.
He used to tell me “Raki, I can see, I can hear, I can walk; I can use my hands — so I need to continue my life the way it should be.” Till a little before his 93rd birthday he was unstoppable. Only when he found it difficult to walk did his lifestyle change…….. and with that, his mindset changed too. He would say then “Now the time has come…..”
From this point it did not take long as his unique and decisive mind meticulously planned it all so he could depart gracefully from his own bed, under his own roof with his family members around him, leaving behind his biggest legacy of all : three wonderful children Sanjiva, Rajiva and Anila.
There is a nice quotation from Aristotle which I think is truly summarises the person that Uncle Sam was: “Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.”
This was Uncle Sam — just, temperate, brave and morally excellent.
Well done Uncle Sam for living an exemplary life and for the legacy of the great virtues of temperance, wisdom, justice and courage that you have imparted to all of us who had the honour and privilege of sharing our lives with you.
- Rakhita Jayawardena