5th Column
Christmas with China Claus
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My Dear Mahinda maama,
I thought I must write to you because I was quite confused when I saw you on Friday. There you were walking in to Parliament, in your mostly white (with a little bit of red) dress in the final week of October and delivering the Budget which was not due until November.
It would have been more appropriate if you had worn a red Santa Claus costume (with a little bit of white) instead and arrived in the final week of December to do what you did — because, listening to your Budget speech, it was as if we were seeing Santa Claus delivering gifts at Christmas!
Mahinda maama, we understand that you can’t wait until November when the Budget is due or until Christmas in December. By that time, the next big election would have been called and the contest would be well underway. People would then accuse you of trying to gain an unfair advantage!
With the bag of goodies that you handed out on Friday, no one can complain. People may even want to vote for you again though there are some who say that you should not be running for a third term and want you out of the race altogether!
I must say, Mahinda maama, that suggestion to increase the monthly income of all government employees to 25,000 rupees was a masterstroke. Only last week, the Green Man was promising a 10,000 rupee salary increase and you have beaten him to it, even before the race begins!
Then there were a host of other concessions practically for everyone from farmers and pensioners to doctors and judges. It was as if you had been saving money all these years to deliver this one budget full of bargains and bonanzas, so it is difficult to see how anyone can find fault with you now.
It is all the more creditable that you did so in the midst of difficulties all around you when even some of your own colleagues are sniping at you, saying that your powers should be pruned and that we should revert to a parliamentary system like the British.
Why, even the Urumaya chaps are now flexing their muscles, demanding constitutional changes and claiming that the country is not being run the way it should be. They are saying that they will not extend their support to you at the next election if you don’t mend your ways.
They had the cheek to hold a meeting and say all this — with Basil malli seated in the audience. As a result, the Greens are having great expectations of the Urumaya walking out of your government but we all know that at the end of the day they can all have their say but you will have your way!
That is probably why people are already queuing up to nominate themselves as the next second in command. I don’t know how Di Moo feels about that but he shouldn’t complain — or order any more new suits for himself — because he is well past the retirement age now, even by our local standards.
I heard that there are many contenders in the fray ranging from Maithri in Rajarata to Nimal from Uva and some are even mentioning Susil’s name. If you do win the next race, you will have a hard time choosing from them — and keeping both aiya and malli happy as well.
That is a small problem though, compared to the difficulties the Greens are having. Young Harin — fresh from his strong performance in Uva — has asked that Sajith be made the second in command if the Greens win — and the Green Man does not know what he should say and Karu must be very angry.
You shouldn’t be having that kind of problem because, whenever someone makes a noise and wants to leave your government, all you have to do is to appoint him as a minister or a deputy minister and all is well once again. Now, maybe you should have a minister in charge of ministerial appointments!
Anyway, Mahinda maama, I don’t think anyone will try to desert you after this budget. There will, of course be the odd question about where you will find the money to grant all your concessions but then, it is just a matter of mortgaging one more generation to the Chinese, isn’t it?
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Please give my regards to PB. We know he must have burnt a lot of midnight oil preparing the Budget for you. Seeing you receive all the praise for it, he must be feeling like the horse that sees the jockey taking all the credit for winning the race. Anyway, if you win again, he will have his job for another six years — and that is not a bad deal for man who the Supreme Court said should never hold public office ever again!