Appreciations
View(s):Dr. Priya De Silva
An inspirational life that touched us in many ways
Aunty Priya has been an inspiration for me in life and work, although I got acquainted with her only about 20 years ago and in spite of the fact that we were from two very different professional walks of life.
Initially I had some connections with her as we used to bump into her in the homes of common friends and as Chula was my husband’s first boss. However, there came a time when I used to “dread” running into her because Anjali her daughter had begun to work with us and she could not understand why “we worked these young girls” so late into the night. I did try to explain that working hours were entirely the making of her perfectionist daughter, but nevertheless the concern of a loving mother was foremost.
I felt it appropriate to share a few memories and strong impacts that she has had on my life and indirectly on the life of my family. Having worked in the corporate sector for close to 20 years, many of my work colleagues appreciate the balance that I have been able to create between work, life and home. Yet it has not always been an easy road.
In one instance early in my career whilst as a team we were on a “soul searching” bonding exercise away from work, I remember sharing with much emotion and trepidation with the group my fears and concerns whether I could continue to work as I felt overwhelmed managing a two-year-old daughter. I was so encouraged when her daughter shared with us as to how they had grown up whilst their mum worked and how proud they were of her achievements and how they felt they had a much bigger world view vs. some of their friends whose mothers were at home. She went on to encourage me with the words that she was sure my children would share the same sentiment.
As I look back, this was a significant moment in my career – I was inspired by Aunty Priya and her impact on her children, family and society. I took a firm step forward then, to try with God’s grace and strength, to succeed and carry out the multi-faceted roles in life as best as I could.
My first impressions of her as a concerned and caring mother were reiterated many a time both when the girls were working with me and also once they took wing to lands overseas to make their own homes. Over this period, our relationship moved from being her daughter’s boss to her daughter’s friend and almost to a soul mate. But whatever the relationship, there were no barriers to her reaching out to ensure the wellbeing of her daughters, often just picking up the phone and sharing her fears and concerns not to mention her optimism and hope. I saw in her the selfless sacrificial love of a mother, who would do what it takes, who would travel the extra mile, who would not consider the discomfort to self, who never cared what people said, in order to nurture two very lovely girls, who have now taken on the mantle of motherhood.
Having such a vibrant and passionate role model would only be an inspiration and encouragement to them both. Whilst having her around for a few more years would have been something the girls would have loved, I am sure that the memories they have of her and the values she ingrained in their minds and also lived by would be a constant source of inspiration and courage for them to live life to the fullest.
The fortitude and resilience with which she faced life when challenged by illness in the past three years are testament to her character. I used to connect with Aunty Priya once in awhile on my drive time to work and very few were the occasions in which she was downcast and low in spirit. There was always a “theory” as to why she was feeling that way and there was always a “solution” as to what could be done and there was always hope of a “better tomorrow”. This enabled her not to lose hope and gave her the space to venture out and do the things she loved. It also enabled her to be of assistance when her fourth grandchild made his way into the family.
Her empathy and love even as we as an extended family encountered the dreaded ‘C’ when my aunt fell ill, were an immense strength to me and even my cousin who having met her, a couple of times at the doctor’s commented that she was an amazing and interesting lady full of life, energy and passion.
When one who has lived life with such a giving spirit and love for others leaves this world, it is almost hard to grieve over the loss, because the rich memories and influences far outweigh the loss. One can only think of Aunty Priya and smile in appreciation of a particular memory.
I hope Sharini, Anjali and Chula as they navigate life ahead, would be able to smile at each bend and corner they encounter as they bring to mind, cherish and celebrate who she was to them over the years.
May her soul find rest.
- Ramani
Manel de Silva
Weep with me
Tell me, Oh wind,
Where is she gone,
Our Manel?
Shed your leaves, Oh trees,
And weep with me
For our Manel.
Bright shining star
Of MWF and YAH
Was our Manel.
Wake, Oh trees, blow, Oh, wind
Turn the earth green
For Manel’s pain is gone.
- Sujatha Samarajiwa
Dr. Vivienne Amath
Thank you for your friendship
It is with a heavy heart that I pen these words about a dear friend, Dr Vivienne Amath, who left us so unexpectedly on September 9, 2013.Although her call to rest was more than a year ago, the memories of our relationship have remained so vivid that I felt compelled to share some of them.
Vivienne was not just a professional doctor. She was also a caring human being to whom I was able to open my heart to and share my feelings unreservedly. She was as patient as she was kind and encouraged me to address my mind to hobbies to relax my mind and relieve stress in a meaningful way. She taught me to sew and encouraged me to strive for perfection in everything I tried to do. In cookery, if I ever got stuck with a recipe, I only had to call her and she would always have the answer.
Being in the medical profession for many years and taking care of the sick, she had a beautiful way of showing how much she cared for her patients and was always ready to help anyone in need.
She was first a dear friend of my late mother, as we lived initially in Galle, and in later years I became her friend when my son started schooling and required medical attention in his early years due to tonsillitis. She treated and cured him with her customary love and care.
Her culinary skills were so exceptional that my children would visit her home regularly as they truly loved her meals. Her skills extended further to sewing, crocheting, knitting, embroidery, cookery, writing, etc.
She was there for me in my hour of grief when my mother passed away at our home in Nawala and accompanied me to Galle to lay her to rest in the family grave as that was Amma’s dying wish.
She did much for an orphanage in Mount Lavinia to help girls from broken homes and abandoned and abused children. I was grateful to her for introducing me to it as I too have found peace of mind in helping the unfortunate inmates in my own small way.
She and her husband Puthra, an equally caring and loving person, shared 49 happy years together and were blessed with a daughter Kashmira who also excelled in the field of medicine in Australia. Kashmira’s appointment as a Director of a leading hospital Down Under gave her parents considerable happiness and made them very proud. It was a blessing that this prestigious appointment for Kashmira was made official just before God called Vivienne to rest, so she could leave us all with a happy heart.
She was a dutiful wife, wonderful mother, mother-in-law, great aunt and caring and loving friend to all.
Thank you, my dearest Vivienne for your friendship, generosity and love which you showered on my family. You will always be in my heart.
As each day passes, I pray that God gives her family courage and strength to bear this great loss and carry on her good deeds. May her soul rest in peace and may we all meet on that beautiful shore one day.
- Rohini
Hemal Shantha Mendis
Always loved and remembered
We remember our grey-haired Papa. He was very active and pleasant, always with a smile. He was ready to help others and was very popular among his relatives and friends. He loved us a lot.
His sudden death is still like a bad dream for us. We miss his booming voice and our home is empty without him. Although we loved him, we could not make him stay. God saw him getting tired and put his arms around him and whispered “Come with me”.
In our hearts you will always stay, loved and remembered.
- Great-granddaughters Naphtali and Shenaya Mendis
Lt. Col. S.B. Thoradeniya
To a cherished bond
It is not often that one’s teacher becomes one’s father-in-law and builds a relationship that extends beyond the formalities of a student-teacher relationship to that of a cherished bond .
As I look back, I realise with poignant joy that I have been blessed to have known Lieutenant Colonel S.B. Thoradeniya throughout my life.
Born in Kurunegala in 1927, Lt. Col. Thoradeniya studied at Ananda College and Alexandra College. In 1956, while teaching English at 
Maliyadeva College, he joined the Ceylon Cadet Corps. As a teacher of English, he devoted himself to enriching the minds of hundreds of students for 36 years, until his retirement.
During his three-decade career at Maliyadeva College, his contributions to its development as a leading educational institute in the island are numerous.
His role at Maliyadeva College was not limited to teaching. He introduced cadeting by forming the Junior Cadet Platoon in 1957. Two years later, he established the Senior Cadet Platoon and proved himself to be an excellent Platoon Commander, later promoted as Battalion Commander. Under his guidance, the Cadet Platoon was acclaimed as one of the best in the island.
It is significant that many of the students under his guidance in the Cadet Platoon later joined the Sri Lanka Security Forces, with 15 becoming Generals in the Army and several others reaching equivalent rank in the Navy, Air Force and Police. The present Commander of the Sri Lanka Army, Lieutenant General Daya Rathnayake, is one of his many outstanding students.
Lt. Col. Thoradeniya enforced discipline even outside the Cadet Platoon, among other students as well, but his strategies were fair. Many former students will vouch for the fact that he was one of the most popular and favourite teachers, strict but gaining the love of students through his cheerfulness.
Often addressed as ‘Thora’, he was a witty entertainer of his colleagues. Whenever we talk about our schooldays, a story about Thoradeniya Sir’s disciplining techniques is bound to come up. In retrospect, I realise that he had a sound understanding of the psychology of his students which made his disciplining techniques more effective.
He met his life’s companion, Clotilda while he was schooling at Ananda College. Together, they raised their children and grandchildren with unconditional love and care. They loved their sons and daughters-in-law as their own children and created a close-knit family. Following his retirement, he shared his time with his grandchildren and was lucky to become a great-grandfather as well.
I remember our long evening chats as he sat in his armchair recounting stories about his career at the Ceylon Cadet Corps. Although a man from a military background, in him we saw the importance of leading a simple and relaxed life.
ther and great-grandfather and the memories he has gifted us will be cherished forever.
May he attain Nibbana.
- Major General (Rtd) Sunil Tennakoon
K. Sicira Panditaratna
He did much for the Buddhist community
My brother, K. Sicira Panditaratna, a prominent Chartered Surveyor, Court Commissioner and Valuer of Kegalle passed away peacefully on December 8 and was cremated the following day in keeping with his wishes.
At the time of his demise, he was 86 years old. He had not been in the best of health in the year before his death. However, he had a sharp mind that enabled him to attend to his official activities until the last.
He was a bright student of Ananda College, Colombo, in the 1940s when P. de S Kularatne, A.B. Perera and L.H. Mettananda were the Principals. He was also a boxer, who at times was a sparring partner, of school-mate H.P. Jayasuriya who later became the National Champion and was selected for the Olympics in the 1950s.
Sicira joined the Ceylon Technical College in 1950 as an engineering student after passing the London Matriculation Examination with a 1st Division. However, he failed to continue his studies after two years due to economic and other unfortunate circumstances.
Subsequently, he became an independent Licensed Land Surveyor, having worked with Mr. Aluvihare, a leading Licensed Surveyor in Kegalle at that time. Sicira was also a pioneer in the pantry cupboard business with his ‘Lanka Kitchens’.
He was a member of the Senior Old Anandians’ Group and liked to accompany his friends on cultural tours. However, in the last two years much to his dismay, he could not go on these trips or attend the annual general meetings of the group due to physical inability.
At his funeral, the Maha Sangha, after reciting the popular Dhamma stanzas ‘Anicca vata sankara – Uppada vaya dhammino etc.’ and conducting the Pansakula ceremony, extolled his virtues and the contributions he had made to the Buddhist community while being President of the Kegalle Young Men’s Buddhist Association (YMBA) for more than 20 years.
Today, any Buddhist devotee heading to Kandy, passing the Kegalle YMBA has only to look up to the right, to see the majestic bubble-shaped white dagoba, the Aukana statue, the samadhi Buddha statue and the sacred Bo trees. All this was accomplished during the time when Sicira was the YMBA President.
Sicira’s wife, Lalitha, who pre-deceased him about eight years ago was indeed a livewire who helped him to accomplish his tasks. He leaves behind three sons, Rajeeva, Sivantha and Vasantha.
My beloved brother Sicira is no more, but his good actions will invariably blossom in the dust. May he attain Nirvana.
- Raja Panditaratna
V. Veerasingam
A colossus in the co-operative movement
The late V. Veerasingam lived in the 1960s but is remembered even today as an icon of the Co-operative Movement. It may not be an exaggeration to say that all roads led to the north when it comes to matters cooperative during his era. He was the Founder President of the Co-operative Federation of Ceylon (Sri Lanka).
When he was Principal of Manipay Hindu College, it was in its heyday, to say the least, excelling in studies, sports and cultural activities.
It may not be out of place to state that educationists in the independent and even assisted schools had a very big say in the educational, political, social and cultural life of the community, more than political, business, or other leaders at that time.
Even when Mr. Veerasingam was the Member of Parliament (MP) for Vaddukoddai after relinquishing his stewardship of Manipay Hindu College, he never avoided his duties in the Co-operative Movement.
Clad in white national dress, he strode the educational as well as the Co-operative Movement like a colossus. A widower at an early age, he channelled all his energies, wealth and service to these fields.
He never missed a committee meeting of the numerous societies of which he was President. He reached the pinnacle in the Co-operative Federation. Though he spent almost every day engaging in the activities of the movement, he paid for everything out of his pocket. His faithful followers and students have been instrumental in constructing an impressive hall in his name, one that is considered a landmark in the city even now.
His motto was ‘My duty is service and nothing else’.
- R. Suntharalingam
Helena Anoja Devi Wijewardene Wijesundera
Memories of an ultimate lady
As we reach the three-month anniversary of Anoja Wijesundera’s sad passing, I am grateful for this opportunity to share a brief personal reflection.
A dignified and affectionate lady, who loved her children and adored her grandchildren, she cherished her country, her faith and her race. An intelligent woman, she cared genuinely for the conditions of not just her native Sri Lankans, but of human beings everywhere.
Throughout her life she remained concerned for the struggles in her country and I particularly admired her commitment to the care of prisoners and women, supported through her work at the All Ceylon Women’s Buddhist Congress (ACWBC) and her many other private charities.
But it seemed to me that her passion was never spent in public display. She offered her industry and her energies to action, using her class, breeding and position to assist people less fortunate than herself. She was a woman whose charisma and charity translated to any religion, faith, language and culture.
She was one of that rare breed who shows their greatest strength, through their ability to reflect quietly, hands resting calmly in lap, in times of their own most profound sufferings.
A woman, put simply, one could always trust to do the right thing.
I turn now to a few treasured personal memories:
I recall with fondness and understanding, as a mother myself, her telling me that the happiest day of her life was when her first son Rohan, my own daughter’s father, was born because, as she put it, she now had someone to call her ‘Amma’.
I recall her smile, her warmth, her impeccable manners and humour.
I remember how sweet she was to me after my own parents’ untimely deaths.
How she loved England and roses and music and the sea. How she loved to travel, to share past memories, to socialize and to entertain.
How she laughed and sang songs with my daughter Georgia, her youngest grandchild, and the joy that they shared in each other.
But perhaps my most tender memory is the enduring likeness of her I find in Georgia’s daily gestures, complexion and smile.
So farewell darling Grandmummy, you remain for me, the ultimate class act, a lady I was proud to call mother-in-law, confidante, role model and friend.
Until we meet again…
- Amanda Bailey