Sunday Times 2
India’s first helpline for lesbians reveals more than 80% of the callers are men
Curious men are jamming India’s first helpline for lesbians with requests for contact numbers for gay women, volunteers have revealed.
Support: The Lesbian Helpline in Tamil Nadu was set up in 2009 following the deaths of two married women from Chennai who set themselves on fire in a suicide pact because of their forbidden relationship
The Lesbian Helpline in Tamil Nadu, based in the state capital Chennai, is supposed to offer support and services for a minority group that is all but invisible in India.
But four out of five calls are in fact made by men apparently looking for cheap thrills or, they hope, the opportunity to meet the kind of women they have hitherto only encountered in the seedier corners of the Internet. Others ask if they can join the helpline’s staff.
Aksam, a 24-year-old boxing coach who volunteers for the helpline, told The Times Of India it’s more difficult dealing with male callers than understanding her own attraction for women.
‘Some men call up and say they have a sister or wife or a relative who is attracted to women,’ she said. ‘Finally, they ask for contact numbers of lesbians.
‘When we ask them to pass the phone to the woman, they refuse. A few men ask questions like how women are attracted to other women and how it is to be in a relationship.’
The helpline was set up in 2009 following the deaths of two married women from Chennai who set themselves on fire in a suicide pact because of their forbidden relationship.
Parent organisation the Indian Community Welfare Organisation says many women are still afraid to come out as gay because of the patriarchal systems and moralistic attitudes deeply ingrained in Indian society.
‘Despite the helpline being in place [these] lesbian[s] remain somewhat invisible within the city,’ the ICWO says on its website.
‘The organization estimates that there are many women within the city who are in a dilemma about accepting their sexual orientation, are fearful of others finding out about it, may be experiencing isolation or are facing harassment or discrimination for having spoken out about it.’
Volunteer Uma Priyadarshini, 20, who fell in with the charity after she eloped with her girlfriend to Chennai from the far southern town of Virudhunagar, said she’s counselled many lesbians who were forced to marry.
She said many callers have suicidal thoughts because of their situation, others can’t understand why they feel so possessive towards their girlfriends at school or college.
‘Of course, many calls are from men, who ask if they can join us in manning the helpline,’ she said.
Dr Vasantha Jeyaraman, a psychiatrist, said it was normal to be curious about something which is hidden from public view.
‘Some men would get pleasure out of making such calls or few would want to try their luck while some heterosexuals would want to ridicule the women,’ the doctor said.
‘It could be anything but only irresponsible men would make such calls.’
© Daily Mail, London