5th Column

I thought I must write to you because you are very much in the news these days, be it organising rallies at Nugegoda or attending to your sick ‘haamine’. Whatever people blame you for, I am sure they cannot blame you for not being a source of controversy and sensational headlines!

Wimal, we didn’t give you enough credit for being a clever politician. When Mahinda maama was defeated, we thought that you would spend the next few months quietly thinking about what you should do next because you had burnt your bridges with both the Blues and the rathu sahodarayas.

You couldn’t blame the Blues either. Many of them remember you as the star speaker in Mahinda maama’s campaign, elbowing them out and quite liberally hurling insults at Maithri. Who could forget you shouting Aiyo Sirisena and asking Maithri to ‘go home’ in a not so polite manner?

However, you had this brilliant idea of organising a rally at Nugegoda demanding Mahinda maama’s return to politics as the next prime ministerial candidate for the Blues at a time when even many in the Blue camp were ignoring him and slowly shifting their loyalties to Maithri.

What most people did not realise is that you were not organising this because of your love for Mahinda maama but because your survival depended on Mahinda maama’s return. They simply believed that you were doing this because of your patriotism, to prevent an international conspiracy.

And who better could you find for your project than old Vasu, young Udaya and the not so young Dinesh to join you in your call for Mahinda maama’s return? And what do all of you have in common? Without Mahinda maama to support you, all of you would be politically dead and buried!

Mahinda maama himself didn’t turn up at the rally. He has better things to do now like visiting his supporters whenever they get taken in to remand prison. And the latest we heard was that you are collecting a million signatures demanding his return. I wonder whether he will add his own to that?

Then, the rally at Nugegoda was a success, possibly beyond even your wildest expectations. Some say buses were used to transport people — like you did for Mahinda maama’s presidential election campaign — but they came from everywhere and what’s more, even some Blues joined you on stage.

It may well be that some people came to the rally out of sheer curiosity, just to hear what you and the others had to say. And, you didn’t disappoint them, even challenging the authorities to arrest your ‘haamine’ if she had done anything wrong. Unfortunately, that is exactly what happened!

It was strange too to find that all of Mahinda maama’s lieutenants are being charged with offences related to forged documents. First it was Tissa the Green turncoat and now it is your ‘haamine’. If the alleged offences are proved, this seems to have been a bad habit during Mahinda maama’s time.

The next thing we know, your ‘haamine’ is the one hitting the headlines, not you. There she is, in the full glare of the television cameras, the picture of innocence, being dragged away by nasty officials watched by her anxious children, all for the alleged offence of altering her date of birth, we are told.

It reminded us of the time when you starred in a different drama, staging a so-called fast unto death with the aid of some Lemon Puff, opposite the United Nations office in Colombo which you called off for no apparent reason other than Mahinda maama visiting you and offering a glass of water.

At first we were told your ‘haamine’ was seriously ill with an problem in her ears — and we would have believed that because she would have had to listen to you all the time but then the next day, she seemed to have been miraculously cured. I wonder what the secret of that was, Wimal?

Isn’t it also strange that all our politicians and their relatives seem to be in their prime and extremely healthy when they are out in public, but the moment they are arrested and put in remand, they become seriously ill and want urgent medical attention in a hospital, no less!

Anyway, Wimal, different people may have different opinions about you and what you are doing now but I think we must all be immensely grateful to you for being a constant source of entertainment. Without you, who would the media report on and who we all laugh at?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Even if Mahinda maama ignores all these appeals for him to return and you are left high and dry after the general election, Wimal, you shouldn’t despair. I think you and your haamine can have brilliant careers as actors.
After all, we haven’t still found a replacement for the late Freddie Silva!