5th Column

My dear Mahela, Kumar, Angelo and the Sri Lankan cricket team,
I thought I must write to you now because this is a time that many people will be blaming you and criticising you after you were knocked out of the World Cup by the South Africans. They will say that it was the manner in which we lost that game that was disappointing, rather than losing itself.

When most of you returned to the country, there were no ministers at the airport to greet you and pose with you for television cameras. Of course, had you won, the story would have been different and they would have been there, garlands and all, but you must be used to these situations by now!

What makes this World Cup different is that Mahela and Kumar have decided to hang up their boots. We would have all liked to thank them for their services by bringing the World Cup home but it was not to be. As we have seen in the past few months, even the best laid plans go awry, don’t they?

In your case at least, it was not as if the World Cup was held early because some silly astrologer chap said that you would win it. However, you did have your coach, who knew all your secrets, suddenly desert you and join one of the opposing teams. Ah, these co-incidences can be quite amazing, isn’t it?

Mahela and Kumar, many are wondering why you are retiring when you are at the top of your game and possibly have at least one or two more years of cricket left in you. Even so, I think that yours is a wise decision — and that is not only because you would be making way for the next generation.

Remember our own master blaster from Matara? He was a popular man and a cricketer of exceptional talent but he used every trick in the book — including getting in to the good books of Mahinda maama — to remain in the team and when he played his last international game he was forty two years old!

Even Captain Cool, the only captain to win a World Cup, stayed on for a few more years and by the time he too decided to quit he had lost his touch and people were asking why he wasn’t leaving. So, despite people questioning your decision to leave the game now, maybe it is the right time to go.

Who know, after you leave there may be people organising meetings, pleading for your return to the game. At first, there may be a meeting at Nugegoda and then one at Kandy. This might spread to other cities and speaker after speaker will demand that you return and take charge of the next campaign.

If that ever happens, Mahela and Kumar, I hope you won’t resort to the cheap tactic of not attending the meeting but sending messages to be read out. And you shouldn’t also keep people guessing about your return by making statements that you are the ‘heart’ of Sri Lankan cricket!

Kumar, we also heard some rumours that you were planning to take to politics. Then we heard that you had denied this and that was reassuring. After all, cricketers who took to politics — Captain Cool, our master blaster, even greats such as Sachin and Imran — have not been very successful politicians.

Of course, you do have something in common with politicians: we see large billboards of yourself along our streets. Unfortunately, the similarity ends there because you are reputed as an honest, decent gentleman in every sense of the word, so you don’t have the basic qualifications to enter Parliament!

Angelo and the team, you must be confused about how you will play after the departure of Mahela and Kumar. Different people will say different things and no one will know what exactly their role is and there will be utter chaos. But, if you want advice on how to handle that, you should ask Maithri!

You shouldn’t worry too much about how you should deal with such a situation, Angelo. I am told that a few amendments to the rules that govern you will see you through. And if the going gets tough you can always boast about the time you toured England and met the Queen and their Prime Minister!

So, while we thank Mahela and Kumar for the years of joy they have provided us, we must also wish Angelo and the rest of the team well. That is because cricket unites our country — as it did, even during the darkest days of war- but no one, not even Mahela and Kumar, are bigger than the game.

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: We would still like to know why we lost that Quarter Final to South Africa so tamely. I heard that Uncle Ranil wants to appoint a team of three ‘independent’ lawyers to inquire into it. They will look in to Mahinda maama’s whereabouts that night to determine whether he had been present at the game!