5th Column

My dear Nimal,
I thought I must write to you soon to congratulate you on your appointment as the Leader of the Opposition simply because, if I don’t do so now, you may no longer be in the job and I may have to congratulate someone else!

I think we had been misled for a long time in to believing that the most sought after jobs in the country are those of the President and, to a lesser extent, the Prime Minister. Now I realise that this is not correct. The most sought after job in the country is to be the Leader of the Opposition.

Remember what happened when Ranil had the job? It was a long period no doubt — some twenty years — but I think we haven’t given him enough credit for what he did to hold on to it because it seemed as if there was an attempt to get rid of him every two weeks!

At first, he did lose the job to Gamini but then got it back. Then Karu thought he would be a better bet to lead the Greens and last but not the least, young Sajith decided he should be following in his father’s footsteps. But most importantly, Ranil outlasted them all.

Now, while all this was going on very little was done by the Greens to get rid of Satellite at first and thereafter, to try and defeat Mahinda maama because the Greens were so busy fighting with each other and Ranil had to ensure his own survival before he could challenge them in any way.

And now, Nimal, we see history repeating itself with the Blues and some of the Reds. It seems as if some of them want Dinesh appointed as Leader of the Opposition and they have even handed over a petition to Chamal maama about that. They also say that they have the numbers to oust you.

I think that is quite unfair, Nimal. After all, it is true that many tried to oust Ranil from the top job of the Greens but they never petitioned the Speaker about it for all of twenty years. And here you are, barely a few weeks into your new job and they have already run and complained to the Speaker!

Anyway, Nimal, many people will say that you deserve this job. Whatever your faults, you have been very loyal to the Blues. Our first recollections of you are as a young lawyer appearing for the Queen Bee in many of her legal battles, after she lost the 1977 elections to the Old Fox.

We also knew you as Badulla’s most well-known parliamentarian. That is why many employees in the Housing and Health ministries are from Badulla, isn’t it? Anyway, you will have a tough fight to retain that title because young Dilan and Harin will now give you a good run for your money.

Over the years, you have grown both in confidence and girth. The ministries you held, Housing and Health contributed to your growth and prosperity although some remember you only as ‘Simenthipala’ during your ‘Housing’ days and for presiding over dengue epidemics during your ‘Health’ days.

You can also claim to be a war hero because the Tigers once tried to assassinate you in Jaffna using a suicide bomber but failed. I don’t know whether you realise it, Nimal, but this is something you have in common with Maithri-and it comes in handy when you are trying to promote yourself as a patriot.

Although you seem to have taken to your new job with a lot of enthusiasm and we see your jolly face and cherubic smile more often on television and in the newspapers, Nimal, we are disappointed with some of your arguments about elections and constitutional changes. Let me explain why.

At first, your group of parliamentarians said that they too endorse ‘Yahapaalanaya’ and they would do anything to ensure its success. However, when it comes to supporting the constitutional changes needed for it in Parliament, they say they will support it only if the system of elections is changed.

Nimal, that doesn’t sound like a very sincere way of going about it. And, as a result now Maithri has had to ‘buy’ the support of Blue MPs by appointing them as ministers and deputy ministers including some who are die-hard supporters of Mahinda maama. That is not quite ‘Yahapaalanaya’, is it?

I know you are in a difficult position, Nimal, because you lead an opposition which has more MPs than the party in government but then, desperate situations call for desperate solutions and I think that is what happened at the last election. Surely, you are too seasoned a politician not to understand that!

Anyway, Nimal we wish you well although your days may be numbered. If you want some tips on how to survive as the Leader of the Opposition you should ask Ranil and I am sure he will tell you that the enemies within are always more dangerous than the enemies outside!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Nimal, we have heard stories that you too were unhappy with the way in which Mahinda maama ruled with an iron fist and that you were also approached to be the ‘common’ candidate. Ah, if only you had said ‘yes’ then, you could be where Maithri is today but then, fortune favours only the brave!