Courageous openness of hope and despair
View(s):Novels, based on personal struggles, family life, and bitter relationships interwoven with a magnanimous effort to create and rediscover a secure, hopeful and fulfilling future are not a rarity. We have read many such heartwarming stories but often with a sense of detachment and most importantly, relief, as they fail to challenge us with their connectedness to our lives and the society we live in. The memoir, ‘Travel to Infinity: My Life with Stephen’ by Jane Wilde (Hawking) however, pulls us to the core of its plot, at once intense and authentic that we just cannot help but being emotionally and actively involved as the story unfolds.
Felicity Jones and Eddie Redmayne as Jane and Stephen Hawking in the 2014 film, ‘The Theory of Everything’ adapted from Jane Wilde’s book
In this memoir, Jane provides an impressive description of Stephen Hawking, the world renowned physicist and her spouse for almost a quarter of a century. They meet at a party on New Year’s Day 1963, and their love blossoms despite Stephen being diagnosed with motor neuron disease with a prognosis of two years of life. Although she might have failed to entirely grasp the enormity of the sacrifice she is required to make, her decision to marry Stephen was not at all an ill-informed one. Battling grief, despair and frustration, Jane would often look back on her initial commitment to Stephen to be supportive and dedicated.
As we turn the pages, we become acutely aware of the daily struggles of not only a motor neuron patient but most importantly the wife who is battered by her attempts to keep the family going, subdued at home, denied a career, often alienated from the Cambridge society of that era. Jane possesses the skills of a great novelist in courageously discussing in depth the agonies of her life with Stephen, the periods of depression, suicidal thoughts and utter helplessness. While she describes her daily struggles in caring for her husband, she also openly discusses her relationship with Jonathan Hellyer Jones, who had become a pillar of support not only to her but also to Stephen and the whole family. She does not shy away from acknowledging her infatuation with Jonathan who selflessly supported her day in and day out. Without Jonathan, ‘I would have gone under’, she writes.
Both Jane and Stephen possess divergent characters, leaving us to conclude that love often attracts opposites: he loves Wagner, she loves romantic and baroque music; he is a physicist, she specialized in medieval Spanish poetry; he a professed atheist, she a believer who refuses to be restricted to a negative worldview constricted by one’s theorization of the universe; he stubborn, authoritative, dominating, she a sensitive, considerate and timid person who longs for dialogue and communication. Even their strategies in dealing with the motor neuron disease were quite contradictory. While Stephen would adamantly refuse to talk about his sickness, leaving no room for the possibility of availing himself of the assistance of professional care, she wanted an open discussion on accepting the sickness thereby enabling them to fight it better as a single unit.
Three important factors are predominant in the memoir, that have aided Stephen in his career as a physicist and cosmologist: First and foremost, that it was a mere chance of fate, as Stephen would not attribute it to God’s grace and providential intervention, that had allowed him to live a rather longer life when others with the same disease would not be able to survive more than a couple of years.
Second, the phenomenal success and meteoric rise of Stephen from the ashes of his disability should be attributed to a greater extent to his single-minded determination to live and contribute in a phenomenal manner to the growth of science in this century.
Thirdly, and most importantly, an aspect often underplayed is Jane’s contribution towards Stephen’s success. She was not only an extremely devout wife, but was also willing to give up a career and care for Stephen allowing him to entirely concentrate on his research. With Stephen’s assistance, undoubtedly, it was Jane who was at the forefront of this battle, almost singlehandedly planning their future and sustaining the family. She notes the scant assistance the Hawking family received from the British authorities and especially the National Health Service. Even after his devastating pneumonia during the latter part of the 80s and the subsequent tracheotomy operation, much needed 24- hour professional care was sponsored by none other than the Ford Foundation in the US.
While she does not fail to acknowledge Stephen’s scientific genius and single-minded determination, which she mentions during a number of interviews, Jane throughout her memoir, portrays Stephen first and foremost as her husband and father of their three children, Robert, Lucy and Tim. She has openly shown her refusal to become a part of the sycophantic attitude adopted by several close to Stephen and the media in transforming him into a spotless deity to be worshipped and adored.
It was this demystification of Stephen throughout her memoir that has allowed us to comprehend and appreciate the heroic life of Stephen, living against all odds and medical predictions. His courage, intellectual genius and his unique idiosyncrasies and attitudes make him ever more human and more connected to our lives and thousands of those who struggle in life due to various reasons. Her book has allowed people to look at others suffering from disease and disabilities with much more empathy, compassion and understanding.