Give yourself a little TLC to get rid of anxiety
I received a phone call from a girl in Adelaide University. She had a severe case of anxiety disorder. It was so bad that she was bed-ridden and terrified to go outside. The university doctors and psychologists had been unable to help her. So her uncle, who was a regular supporter of my monastery, told her to give me a call.
She told me over the phone that she had been bed-ridden for many weeks. She was managing thanks to her boyfriend who cooked, cleaned and did all other errands for her. Boyfriends like that are hard to find! Then I asked her “Where on your body do you feel the anxiety when it occurs?
“What do you mean?” she answered confused.
“Every emotion”, I explained, “has a corresponding physical feeling on the body. So where do you feel the anxiety?”
“I don’t know,” she replied.
“Well, find out and give me a call back when you can tell me.”
A few days later, she called to tell me that she could notice a feeling in her middle chest, just below her breast.
“Describe that feeling to me,” I asked.
“I can’t,” she replied.
“Well, give me a call back when you can describe it to me.”
Three or four days later, she called and gave a surprisingly detailed description of the feeling in her chest that occurred whenever she had an anxiety attack.
“Very good,” I complimented. “Now, whenever you notice that physical feeling begin, put your hand on your chest and massage that area with as much kindness as you can generate for as long as you can. If you can’t manage that in your current state, then get your boyfriend to massage that area for you. That’s what boyfriends are for! And give me another call in a few days’ time.”
When she called, I asked her what happened to the physical feeling when she massaged it caringly.
“The physical feeling disappeared,” she answered.
“And what happened to the emotion of anxiety?” I continued.
There was a pause. It was her ‘light bulb’ moment. Then she exclaimed, “That went too!”
She now had the means to transcend her anxiety attacks. Asking her to locate the physical counterpart to her anxiety and to describe it to me was just a means to get her to be mindful of that feeling. Once awareness of that feeling had been established, it was a simple matter to relieve that feeling with compassion, and with it, abate the emotion of anxiety. I had also put her in charge of this therapy, restoring her self-confidence.
Every emotion has a counterpart physical feeling, often one that we are not aware of. Dealing with an emotional problem on the mental level is just too confusing, so we deal with the physical counterpart. Once the physical part is gone, so is its emotional source.
Within a short time she was out of bed and back at university. She was a clever woman, worked hard and graduated with first class honours. She was so impressed with me that she nominated me for “Australian of the Year”! I didn’t win but appreciated the gesture. I appreciated even more when, in December 2009, at her insistence, I performed the marriage blessing for her and her groom, that same boyfriend who had cared for her in her bed-ridden days.