5th Column

My Dear Maithri,
I am writing to you after some time because I — and, I think most others in this blessed Paradise of ours — are slightly confused about what is going, almost six months after you took on the top job ousting Mahinda maama from his pedestal after ten long years, much to everyone’s surprise.

We all know you are batting on a wicket that is more difficult to bat on, than even the one in Galle. On the one hand, you have to be grateful to the Greens who did all the hard work at the grassroots level to get you elected. On the other hand, you have to be loyal to the Blues too, where you belong.

Then, just to make matters more complicated, there is Mahinda maama who is going around the country holding Bodhi poojas, trying to convince even the gods that he is still the best man to run the country, still unable to come to terms with the fact that he has been booted out of office by the people.

I am sure what you must be finding most irritating is not the Greens so much, but the behaviour of some of the Blues. The Greens, after all, are minding their own business and don’t lose an opportunity to shower praise on you whereas some of the Blues are proving to be your harshest critics.

When Mahinda maama was the boss, all he had to do was to offer them a ministerial portfolio and everybody joined him by the dozen, even deserting the Green camp. And, everyone in the Blue camp did what he asked them to do and he, in turn, turned a blind eye to all their naughty activities.

Now though, even though Mahinda maama no longer has any power, some of the Blues are still flocking towards him. Why, you even tried to keep some of them with you by giving them ministerial and deputy ministerial jobs, but a few days after taking oaths, some of them resigned and went back to him!

We know Maithri, that you are doing all this because you need a two-thirds majority in Parliament to see this all important 20th Amendment through — just as you got the 19th Amendment passed with some difficulty — so that we don’t have to suffer due to the ‘manaapa’ voting system anymore.

That is causing a lot of confusion, though. First, we are told that our next Parliament will have 255 members, thirty more than we already have. A few days later we are told that the Cabinet has approved a proposal to stay with 225 MPs and another two days later, we are being told the number is set at 237!

Honestly, Maithri, why should the number of parliamentarians in our next Parliament be like what you get when you go to three different shops and ask for the price of a loaf of bread? Surely, as the person with a mandate from the people, shouldn’t you be able to decide on a number and stick with it?

Then, there are those ‘peace talks’ between you and Mahinda maama. First, we are told a committee has been appointed to ensure the unity of the Blue party and that you and Mahinda maama will start working together. Blues throughout the country would have heaved a sigh of relief on hearing that.

Next we are told by Rajitha, who likes to think that he is your right hand man, that while Mahinda maama is free to work with the Blues he will never be made Prime Minister and that he will not even be asked to contest from the Blues. Then, what is the purpose of peace talks, we begin to wonder.

The very next day, there is Dilan telling us that peace talks are very much on track and that what Rajitha said is quite simply not true. Pardon me, Maithri, but I don’t think you should expect people to vote for the Blue party if they can’t even tell us who will be leading their next election campaign.

In fact, this reminds me of the time when there were peace talks with Velu and his Tigers. It was on one day and off the next day, so maybe you need someone in the role of Eric Solheim to mediate. Anyway, those peace talks didn’t help that much and I guess that might be the fate of these talks too.

Though no one is blaming you for all this just yet, Maithri, I think it is only a matter of time before they start saying that this is all your fault because you are not strict enough with the Blues. Why, even Susil and that Yapa chap seem to be acting under Mahinda maama’s orders!

I wish you well, Maithri, because I know you will need all the luck you can get. I hope that there will be a decision on the 20th Amendment one way or another and that you will get rid of this Parliament which is holding the country to ransom. And the sooner you do that, the better it is for all of us!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Remember Dearly Beloved who accidentally became President? He presided over a general election which sent his own party to the Opposition for the next seven years and we understand that you wouldn’t want to follow in his footsteps. But, with Mahinda maama hell bent on making your life a misery, I don’t think you have much choice, do you?