Planets that aren’t and prezzies who are/we
View(s):Pluto is hardly the king of planets. But it was accorded right royal treatment when humanity’s ‘New Horizons’ probe swept by this week. After a very long journey, the NASA spacecraft finally came within hailing distance of the erstwhile planetoid. Eons ago, Pluto looked like a cluster of fuzzy pixels in the deep space probe’s forward scanners. Years after that, it was a dim glow. And now, agonising ages after NASA’s New Horizons began its lonely voyage out into the depths of extra-solar space, we have a view of the traditional ninth planet that makes it look like – well, the Internet has the most interesting memes on Pluto’s possibilities, to add colour and spice to the official photographs. (In one, my favourite, the forlorn planetoid looks like the foreboding Death Star from the increasingly misnamed space ‘trilogy’ Star Wars).
In the time since Pluto began to re-arouse the interest of more than merely astronomers, its status has undergone several changes. Initially, from the dawn of its discovery in 1930, even astrology considered it one of the planets. Later, after Homo sapiens came of age and reached a more sophisticated mien of seeing itself, and the solar system of which it is a suburban part, the planetoid was downgraded to dwarf planet (in 1992, following the discovery of other ‘plutoids’ in the Kuiper Belt, in the icy wastes of the farther solar system). But as with other objects of curiosity, the far-flung planetoid’s privileges were not entirely rescinded, despite the discovery of the more massive and more distant dwarf planet Eris in 2005, leading the international astronomical community to formally define ‘planet’. A learned lobby to restore Pluto’s fortunes contended that it deserved another look and a second chance. Not long after a warm and protracted debate in academic and astronomic circles, Pluto was back to being a planet – at least in some camps.
So, what makes a planet a planet? There are several criteria, it seems. One is size, or mass. (Pluto is smaller and lighter than many moons in the more respectable inner suburbs of the solar system. It is one-sixth the mass of Earth’s moon; one-third its volume.) The other is situation in space. (So far out, our erstwhile ninth planet oscillates eccentrically between being 30AU to 47AU out from the Sun, which means that at times it is closer to the centre of the solar system than Neptune. Yet, even at this range of an average 40 Astronomical Units – AU, it is still less than half as far away as another dwarf planet, Eris, at 97AU). A third factor is the angle of orbiting around the sun. (All other planets have a tilt of 7 degrees off the solar systemic plane. Pluto is angled by 17 degrees, and its elliptical and eclectic orbit makes it a likelier contender to be a strange and beautiful comet that has yet to make a plunge in towards its parent sun.)
By these yardsticks, Pluto is not a planet. And in the books of the likes of media-savvy astronomer Neil deGrasse Tyson, among others, Pluto will have to be content with being classified a ‘dwarf planet’ or ‘plutoid’. At least, until our present paradigm of planet-classification is challenged and changed.
In the same week that Pluto was making the headlines in the world’s news media, another King of the Underworld was making a splash in a backwater island-republic that shall remain anonymous. I felt like “a watcher of the skies, when a new planet swims into his ken”, when I read that Prez-ex (for that is what we shall call our returning star player in the firmament of politics) was making a comeback into the running at the next local election.
Prez-ex was once very much the king among our politicos. And he was accorded right royal treatment when his party’s leadership swept him back into the spotlight this week. After a short exile, Prez-ex finally came within hailing distance again of the crown he had once worn and had always coveted. Two decades ago, Prez-ex looked like a non-starter in the then incumbent’s unkind estimate. A decade after that, it was a revelation when the man led the charge that won the war. And now, a hundred and seventy five days after an ignominious defeat, we are forced to take stock once again of the man, the machine, the movement, that has swept everything in its path from Kataragama to Kilinochchi to Kurunegala, from Hambantota to the Hague, from Medamulana to the media-demographic complex.
In the six to seven months since Prez-ex began to re-arouse the interest of more than merely astrologers, his status has undergone several changes. Initially, from lips of the last one who served him poorly, he was considered to be a sure-fire winner. Later, after a resounding defeat which no one saw coming – least of all that clairvoyant soothsayer – we were compelled to relegate the Prez-ex to the ranks of the also-rans. But as with other objects of curiosity, the ex-Prez’s powers were not entirely spent. A garrulous group determined to restore Prez-ex’s fortunes contended that he deserved another chance and a second look. Not long ago, in fact just last week, Prez-ex was back to being a contender in the Parliamentary Cup and a possible candidate for chief frontrunner in the Prime Ministerial Stakes.
So, what makes an ex-Prez a pos-Premier? There are several criteria, it seems. One is character. The other is track record. A third factor is credibility. By these yardsticks, the albeit charismatic ex-Prez is not cut of the prime ministerial cloth. But in the books of the likes of nation-savvy astrologer Aiyo Sira, among others, Prez-ex – while having to be content with being classified as a has-been, at least for now – may have the last laugh yet, and go on to show how he can still rock and shock the nation. With Prez-ex, like with ex-Pluto, only time will tell. And we may never know who was in the right all along.