5th Column

My dear Hirunika,
I thought I must write to you because everyone is talking about you these days when they should be talking about Santa Claus instead. I was wondering why and I thought it would be best to find out from you why so many people are making all these wild allegations against you.

Hirunika, you must surely know that our initial impression of you was of a desperate daughter who was fighting for justice for her father who was brutally gunned down on the streets of Kolonnawa while campaigning, ironically by a rival group from the same political party.

We listened to every word you told the media, as you appeared in front of the cameras day after day outside courts, pleading for a fair trial. In a sense, you came to represent the fight against a regime which had taken the law into its own hands and was doing what it wanted, when it wanted to whoever it wanted.

We were impressed not only by your good looks, the forthright way in which you spoke and the cause you were fighting for but also because we thought you had the courage to stand up for what you thought was right, even against very powerful people who had the support of the powers that be at that time.

That is probably why you were able to enter Parliament at the last general elections even though you were contesting for the very first time at such an election and even though you were contesting from the Green party instead of the Blue party, where you and your family had most of your supporters.

At that time, Hirunika, you symbolised the hope that many people had about the ‘yahapaalanaya’ that was promised. Those who voted you believed you would help usher in a government where the rule of law would be upheld and where no one would be allowed to take the law in to their own hands.

Pardon me, Hirunika, but this is precisely what is bothering us now because we are being told that some of your bodyguards travelling in a black Defender jeep belonging to you allegedly abducted and assaulted someone over a personal dispute — and that you too were somehow involved in the drama that followed.

First, we thought this was a joke in poor taste and that someone who looks just like you was ordering the abduction of people, so that it appears you did so and would damage your reputation. After all, you campaigned so vehemently against ‘white vans’, so how could you approve of ‘black Defenders’ now?

There was also that issue about you telling the Police that you knew nothing about this abduction. So we thought that someone had first abducted your black Defender and then used that to abduct this person. And you being a lawyer- and a politician- we had no reason not to believe what you were saying either!

Then we heard the person who was allegedly abducted claiming that he was taken to you and that you allegedly threatened him. That is when you changed your story ever so slightly to say that he was in fact brought to you — and that you ‘advised’ him so that everyone could live happily ever after.

Please correct me if I am wrong, Hirunika, but I thought those who elected you did so to represent them in Parliament — not to act as a counsellor in family disputes, so that is why we are all confused about what is going on. If you have taken on this new job, please do tell us, and we will do our best to support you!

Pardon my ignorance, Hirunika, but I am not aware of the latest techniques in counseling people. Does it involve abducting them and assaulting them? If so, you need to let us know, so we can educate others about this new method. After all, being a lawyer, we have every reason to believe you did what was right.

What happens next, Hirunika? After seeing you appear before the media and plead for justice on behalf of your father, we might now see young Duminda turning up at your court appearances and pleading for justice for this person who was allegedly abducted. That would really be ‘yahapaalanaya’, wouldn’t it?

Or, who knows, Maithri might be impressed with this performance and he may even reward you with a ministerial position. He has just appointed two more this week and one more wouldn’t hurt the national economy that much. Besides, you seem to be showing all the signs of becoming an excellent politician!

Take care, Hirunika. I am sure there will be many things said about you in the coming days but no matter what the final outcome is, we won’t think any less of you. But, after seeing who they elected to Parliament in recent times — first Duminda and now you —we do have our concerns about the people of Kolonnawa!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Just in case the going gets tough and people start asking awkward questions such as why you, being a lawyer, didn’t report this alleged abduction to the Police in the first instance, you can always say ‘mata mathaka nehe’. That worked for very well for young Duminda, so it is only fair that it works for you too!