Columns

Those who remember the days immediately prior to the Bush-Blair illegal invasion of Iraq 13 years ago and the ensuing media war might recall Saddam Hussein’s information minister and spokesman who the British media called “Comical Ali”.
That was a take-off from “Chemical Ali”, the Iraqi scientist responsible for heading the country’s chemical weapons programme. Though the two Bs in the same pod (Blair and Bush) turned Iraq upside down looking for the bombs they said could be launched in 45 minutes they could not find any to this day.

Police spokesman Ruwan Gunasekera was to announce shortly after the young man died in Embilipitiya that he had jumped from the building resulting in his death.

The spokesman earned that sobriquet (the US media called him “Baghdad Bob”) for his bombastic claims about the military prowess of Saddam’s Republican Guards, what they would do to the invading infidels and the myriads of untruths (let’s be charitable to the man) he spewed almost daily about Iraq’s successes on the battlefield and the huge losses inflicted on the invaders.

Of course nothing like that ever happened. Neither did George Bush’s notoriously brash pronouncement “mission accomplished” accomplish the mission. It is not only the people of Iraq who are now still paying for his visceral foolishness and the seeds that the two Bs sowed which have sprouted engulfing more of West Asia.

In the days of the Vietnam War the US had its own comedians playing spokesmen or was it the other way round- spokesmen playing the Three Stooges. The media jokingly labelled the daily press briefings the “Five O’clock Follies” so entertaining they had turned out to be.

I was at the East-West Communications Institute in Hawaii at the height of the Vietnam War and enjoyed myself immensely listening to some Saigon-based American journalists passing through Honolulu trying to convince the more skeptical of us poor third world semi-literates that Washington will win the war, often citing the hyperbolic assessments of their own comical Alis.
The recent unfortunate happenings at Embilipitiya and our own police spokesman’s efforts to characteristically clear his fellow policemen of any wrong doing brought to mind those other spokesmen who have gone down in history as renowned interior designers who have thought to redecorate events by liberal doses of white wash and a splash of colour.

Police spokesman Ruwan Gunasekera was to announce shortly after the young man died in Embilipitiya that he had jumped from the building resulting in his death. Subsequent accounts appear to suggest that if anybody took a leap it was spokesman Gunasekera who seemed to have hastily jumped to conclusions.

It is quite possible that Gunasekera was misled by his colleagues from the South who were trying to cover up their own tracks as Law and Order Minister Sagala Ratnayake’s statement to parliament would indicate, especially with regard to telephone calls originally said to have been made to the police by the public.

It has now emerged that Ruwan Gunasekera was not only the police spokesman but he was in Embilipitiya himself doubling up as investigator and legal adviser or some dubious roles. Those who still recall their readings of Shakespeare from student days would perhaps remember the words of Jacques in As You Like It- “And one man in his time plays many parts”. But even the Bard did not seem to envisage one man playing many parts simultaneously as Gunasekera seems to have done until he was withdrawn from his other bit parts, if media reports are correct.

Embilipitiya is bad enough. But note what happened at Homagama the other day when the General Secretary of the Bodu Bala Sena, Galaboda Atthe Gnanasara Thera appeared in court. The subsequent disturbances viewed by many of those who conveyed their thoughts on cyber space as laughable would indeed have believed so had it not been such an insult to the saffron robes worn by those who sought to disrupt public life in the area.

That stand up comedian named Wimal Weerawansa, leader of some group called the National Freedom Front, who had thankfully disappeared from the public scene for some time, thought it fit to compare ‘justice’ as meted out to the Venerable Gnanasara with that shown apparently to Hirunika Premachandra MP.

His allusion to justice for the sari and sivura seemed to refer to these two instances. Had he managed to overcome hurdles such as the GCE ‘O’ level and ‘A’ level in his youth he might have been able to see the ludicrousness of his analogy for they were vastly different and differing circumstances.
But if one thinks that such illogicalities and spuriousness-even if he was aware of them – would deter Weerawansa from exuding thoughts which are tantamount to bovine waste, then obviously we have underestimated the man.
It was not too many years ago that he decided to lie down opposite the UN offices in Colombo and threaten to fast to death. The one-time archaic term for this kind of threat to depart from this world by one’s own volition was “fast unto death”. Once this ruse started becoming a little too common with every two-bit politico thinking he could get a photograph and two column-inches of space in the local media, some sarcastic journalist it called it a “farce unto death”.
So it has turned out to be for one cannot think of any politician or hanger-on dying of self-induced starvation, not when there is a quick bite and a glass of glucose or orange available in the stealth of the night.
Our parliament would be such a staid and dull chamber without the likes of Weerawansa who would not be averse to spending a night on the floor of the House if it would attract attention, never mind if it evoked torrents of derisive public laughter at such farcical conduct.
As though one Weerawansa is not enough to keep soap opera alive, Sri Lanka has more recently given ‘birth’ to another politician who also claims to lead a party though how many member it has on its roll may not be fully known to the public.
Of course Udaya Gammanpila, General Secretary of the Pivithuru Hela Urumaya might say with Cromwell that a few (not PHU) honest men are better than numbers.
But it seems that Gammanpila makes up for number of members by the number of words he utters almost every day as though it has been prescribed by some medicine man.
Since Weerawansa had faded from the scene for some time Gammanpila has emerged to fill the void with verbiage that seems like the accumulated garbage at Meethotamulla and some other places in Colombo.
Hardly a week passes without Gammanpila calling press conferences to pillage media space. Observing Gammanpila’s strenuous efforts to emerge onto political centre stage one cynic said in Sinhala the other day “kathawa dolawen, gamman pillion eke” drawing laughter from those around.
Adding to the slapstick that passes for intelligent debate and the thrust and parry of political exchange we are now witnessing the comedy of cabinet ministers threatening to sue each other and still others pointing their howitzers at colleagues saying they would be blown apart with exposure of things done and not done, not to mention under done.
If the amounts demanded as recompense by those offended would require a run on the foreign banks where national assets are said to be stashed away.
With such goings on to keep the populace entertained who wants a Comical Ali or even an Iglesias. Roman emperors of ancient times tried to calm the public with bread and circuses. Who cares about bread when we have such political circuses.