5th Column

My Dear Green Man,
I thought I should write to you not only to wish you a happy birthday but also to let you know about a few matters that seem to be escaping your notice. Of course, even your birthday went almost unnoticed, unlike in previous years when we had grand tamashas to celebrate the birthday of you-know-who.

We did see some pictures of the birthday boy in the newspapers the next day – complete with the bunis and maalu paan on the birthday table although there was no bread or even sandwiches to be seen. Given the price of bread being what it is, it comes as no surprise that even you can’t afford it!

There were other surprises in those pictures. You were between Maithri and Maithree and it was Maithri and not Maithree feeding you birthday cake! The pictures suggest that all is well between you two – and I bet you didn’t ask him why Daham gate crashed the Royal-Thomian awards ceremony!

Young Sajith was there grinning from ear to ear and it looked as if even Satellite dropped in on time. I suppose we have all heard that in politics there are no permanent friends or permanent enemies, only permanent interests. So, it seems as if the theme of your birthday was to let bygones be bygones!

Anyway, Green Man, why I am writing to you is to tell you that you and your team need to get your act together quickly. Or else, you may be celebrating your next birthday in a very different way. The people had great expectations when they voted you in – but they are going through some hard times.

Consider the blackouts and powers cuts we experienced recently, for instance. You can’t blame Mahinda maama for that and hope to get away with it – especially after being in office for more than a year now. And soon people won’t be happy with your answer for everything: appointing a committee.

Mahinda maama has also been blamed for the country needing to raise taxes to meet its expenses, the rising cost of living, building ports and airports that are useless and many other ‘crimes’ but that is exactly why people sent him home and you took over. Blaming him now won’t help, Green Man.

I know your job is not an easy one because you don’t have to deal with just the Greens, you have to deal with the remnants of the Blues who are clinging on to Maithri too. Even then, some of your own ministers are not making your job any easier because of what they say and do from time to time.

There was faithful Tilak suddenly losing his marbles and defending one of his clients in Parliament. He did resign but the other chap who did the same thing continues to retain his job – and pretends to preside over Justice, of all subjects. So, can you blame people if they lose faith in ‘yahapaalanaya’?

Then we saw Lucky of ‘ona gonekuta yudda karanna puluwan’ fame issuing letters to a university recommending the appointment of a person ‘known to’ him as a lecturer. When the matter became public, instead of owning up, he justified what he did, making his defence worse than the offence.

Next we saw Akila Viraj trying to beat his predecessor Bandula at being silly, wanting to separate a mother and child when there was no necessity to do so. What he couldn’t publicly say was that he was only playing to the gallery of his voters at Kuliyapitiya. Clearly, he himself needs a bit of education.

Then, Blue turned Green Mangala tells everyone that we welcome ‘foreign’ participation at a war crimes inquiry but Maithri is asking the rest of world to mind its own business because we are capable of doing our own inquiry. So, ‘yahapaalanaya’ is speaking with a forked tongue and confusing us!

And there is this matter of ETCA with India, Green Man. You have said nothing has been finalised yet but then we didn’t know anything about the ceasefire with the tigers until you finalised that too, did we? Most people don’t like ETCA, even if it allows Kohli and Dhoni to play for our cricket team.

You should look in to why so many people are opposed to ETCA without just dismissing opposition to it as being the handiwork of a few people who ‘went shopping’ for Mahinda maama. It took years for you to recover from the ceasefire and it looks as if another agreement may be your undoing again!

Think about all this, will you, Green Man? You are holding the job you have for the fourth time and we hope that, unlike on the previous occasions, you will be able to last a full term. To do that though, you may have to crack the whip on your ministers and think again about some of your own plans.

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Remember the days when Mahinda maama was dividing the Greens and thanking you for being their leader and thereby ensuring that he continues in power. I think he is now repaying your favours by dividing the Blues and ensuring that you stay in power. Politics is a strange sport, isn’t it?