Springing off with the off-spring
View(s):
Unearthing travel cases; Sorting through seasonal clothing; packing the appropriate items; going through a travel checklist; not forgetting the few items hastily scrawled on the very bottom of the to do list at the very last minute; passport – check; ticket – check…put it all together and you have that moment of ‘soul-replenishing-mentally-relaxing-me-time’ to look forward to. Add in “For-travel-with-the-Kids:” at the very beginning as the heading of the paragraph and suddenly it’s a completely different picture: Off-Duty takes on a whole new meaning with the introduction of Off-Spring.
There’s unquestionable beauty in both scenarios. Just a question of which one you will inhabit for the duration of your time away and a matter of opinion which one is more enjoyable. One thing is certain with regards to both of them – just a little bit of luck and a smile from Mother Nature and one can perhaps even enjoy the best of both worlds of me time and our time, once you actually just get to your destination.
And this is where things get really interesting: The actual process of getting to your destination. Indeed this could be seen as relevant with regard to getting to any destination – using public transport of any sort. There is no doubt that travelling for leisure is a privilege in any context. Whether it be by road, by sea or by air. A privilege we earn (in most instances) and embark upon to unwind, relax and enjoy. So it is rather ironic and a little disappointing that before getting to your own Holiday in Heaven, you have to first brave the Warriors of Hell.
Metaphorically speaking of course, they inhabit the simple “i” in a multitude of guises: irate, impatient, intolerant, impolite and irritated. They’re not actually demons but just people – human like the rest of us. Fellow travellers who often inhabit these rather unfortunate traits the moment they’re within a four row radius of (usually) a mother with a little person.
I recently found myself having to suddenly fly long haul for a combination of family, work and leisure. My better half had already gone on ahead and so the mad scramble that comes with any unexpected activity left me too busy to overly worry about the actual trip itself. The way I saw it, I was no stranger to overseas travel and I had travelled alone with the little ones before, so surely I could do it again. Incredibly, despite the experience, pre-flight prep and minimal disturbance enroute, I found myself constantly learning new manouevres to rigorously sidestep and dodge the under-the-breath-comments; the daggers of annoyance, withering glances, and irritated facial expressions of child free travellers. It didn’t help that I was travelling with not one, but two children in tow. Factor in that they are both under the age of 5 years, and you have a State of the Art Recipe for Adventure!
Dealing head on with something difficult is sometimes the only way to do it. Irrespective of the slightly alarmed look that comes into a fellow passengers eyes when they see young children boarding the same ‘enclosed-for-half-a-day-cabin/carriage’, you just learn to get on with it. In the end you hope that people sometimes remember that this is all a normal part of life. That they too most certainly had mothers, who in all likelihood also went through similar situations. That these same adults didn’t merely morph into fully grown adults. An occasional moment of forgetfulness is always permissible, but total amnesia seems to be the order of the day – on most days – with regard to this issue, and that’s often unfortunate.
Travelling with a young child is no easy feat. Add ‘alone’, ‘long-haul’, ‘toddler’, ‘transit’, ‘travel paraphernalia’, ‘flight connections’, ‘mealtimes’ and ‘restroom rendezvous aka endless visits to the facilities’ and you really win the big sweepstake for a sure-fire complicated journey. Most people cannot even imagine it, let alone want to do it. Objectively almost everyone understands it is hard work. One does not need to be a parent to feel empathy for the parent who is in that unenviable position. So why is it that despite calling ourselves modern and enlightened, living in a socially developed society, we are still – by and large – so very unenlightened, intolerant and impatient about a basic aspect of life. Babies and children cry. This is not a new phenomenon which has suddenly begun, nor suddenly increased. Yet what seems to have noticeably increased is the lack of patience and tolerance we feel as a society, particularly towards mothers travelling alone with children.
Perhaps it is important that those who think parents are not bothered by the unintentional disturbance caused, are made aware that these parents are usually mortified that their bundle of joy could cause such a bundle of annoyance to another. That often, parents have significantly prepared (or should have!) beforehand to optimise the possibility of stress free travel.For every seemingly unconcerned parent, there are at least ten others who work hard throughout the journey to ensure the disturbance is minimal. There’s many a mother doing her best not to become THAT mother. Besides, that family also comprises fee paying travellers. Perhaps people who use public transport(including commercial air travel) could be a little more generous and partake in a little public service themselves and just be kind to the parents who in all likelihood are positively exhausted and still trying to do their best to ensure the public in the vicinity, have a pleasant journey.
My plea on behalf of all travelling parents, using all forms of public transport, is for others to be a little patient and tolerant. We do our best. Besides, one never knows when the steely-eyed spectator may become that stressed-out single parent springing off with their off-spring.
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