5th Column

My Dear Weather Gods,
I thought of writing to you because you have caused havoc in Paradise leaving many dead, scores missing and the whole country plunged into despair with continuing rains and heavy floods which are yet to recede. People are trying hard to come to terms with what has happened over the past few days.

The scale of this disaster has surprised many people and the event which comes nearest to this tragedy is the tsunami that engulfed us twelve years ago. True, that left many more people dead and missing, but it was all over in a few minutes. This calamity, on the other hand, seems to continue forever.

Thinking about all this, dear Weather Gods, it puzzles me as to why you should try to impose such hardships on Paradise, especially when we are still trying to recover from the effects of a long and deadly war that lasted nearly thirty years — and people are still debating who won the war for us.

Why, the anniversary of end the war came and went and usually there is a great debate about whether there should be a military parade to commemorate it or not. This time, the same question was asked again but no one took any serious notice — because of the floods and the destruction you had unleashed.

One could argue that because of what you did, the people in Paradise have come together just as they did after the tsunami. Instead of dividing themselves into blue, green and red camps they seem to be working together, at least for now, to help the displaced who need all the help to rebuild their lives.

In fact, these days, people are not talking about who went before the ‘FCID’, who was summoned before ‘PRECIFAC’ or who was arrested and granted bail. However, there will always be those who must be wishing that the ‘FCID’ and ‘PRECIFAC’ are also drowned and all its records are destroyed.

Dear Weather Gods, you have even been able to prevent our elected representatives at the Diyawanna Oya from engaging in fisticuffs with each other. And, instead of asking whether they should go to Kirulapone or Galle, they are now asking whether to go to Aranayake or Bulathkohupitiya!

Of course, we still have to be careful. Remember, the tsunami came and went and someone was left with a big bank balance in the Helping Hambanthota account? Since some of those misfits are still in high places, we should be vigilant. Or else, very soon there will be a ‘Helping Aranayake’ as well.

I suppose, dear Weather Gods, you have been fair in granting such advantages. Even the ‘other’ side appears to have had some benefits because of what you have unleashed. Now, you rarely hear people complaining about ‘VAT’ or the cost of living because they are all busy, helping with the floods.

University students no longer need to be teargassed because the streets and roundabouts where they usually protest are under water. And at least for the time being, the issue of utmost national priority is no longer whether Mahinda maama should have his security provided by the Army or the Police!

Spare a thought for our cricketers, too. How can they be expected to play a decent game of cricket in England when their countrymen are suffering so much? So, instead of simply making a gesture and wearing black arm bands, in typical Paradise style, they showed how much they cared about all of us.

Surely, you couldn’t be seen winning matches, jumping up and down, celebrating and embracing each other in joy when your nation is being submerged by floods and people are dying? So, they put in a performance in keeping with the mood of the country, as a mark of respect to those we lost!

That doesn’t mean that we have lost our competitive edge as a nation. Just look around you and each media outlet will have its own relief campaign, sometimes with a fancy name to it, trying to outdo its rivals in providing relief. It doesn’t matter, really, as long as assistance is provided to those in need.

So, dear Weather Gods, I hope you will look kindly upon us in the coming days and grant us some relief. If not, everyone will blame everything on you and cite the floods as a reason for not being able to keep the promises of ‘Yahapaalanaya’. Now, you don’t want to take on that responsibility, do you?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Just when I thought it was safe to say something good about those in high places working together, the Green Man has said that your actions were the result of the opposition dashing coconuts. So, you can rest assured that no matter what you do now, dear Weather Gods, it won’t be your fault!