Parent! — Your image of a role model sometimes maybe flawed
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Referees are human just like others, who think otherwise - File pic
The fact is that, everyone hates referees. Many have something to say and strong but a coward inside. Forgetting that children play the game in schools. This is not case to defend referees but an arrow at your conscience. Blaming referees is not limited to Sri Lanka and is not restricted to rugby either. We live in a society those talks of degenerating morals and values. Blame the young blame the teens but reflect and ask are we responsible. Is the behaviour of last few weeks by adults good for kids? Kids are playing a game and you cannot relate gory incidents to kids on the park but to adults that are on the park. Society blames teenagers for the deterioration of values when adults have to blame themselves for it. When teens talk to us in a rude manner, we feel astonished.
However, what are we teaching them while raising them is the real case? We teach them from the very beginning that this is your toy, pencil, book your school etc. Do not share with other kids. We teach them not to share their notes with other classmates. Teach them how to survive in a game in the most unacceptable manner. Now when they have grown up with this thing in their minds, we are blaming them. It a not the teens but we are the one to be blamed for upbringing such generation. The hunt is on in most places for a coach and the prices are high. More than what you would pay a teacher. The question is what you are paying for. Is it to win and satisfy your addicted desire? Supporters notice a referee only when calls go against their side. That is the start of the degenerating of values expected form a sport.
Mind you it is not the boys on the park but the old boys who talk of how much is spent as well as coaches who must justify what they earn. The abuse referees take for those decisions is much more than any praise they may receive for awarding the same team penalties or sending off opponents. Do our actions accept the good, teach the kids there is good and bad, and balance life accordingly. Kids need to learn that there is your version of reality and that of the referee. “Psychologists have long documented, however, that what people “know” about themselves and others is a function of their backgrounds, motivational frames, and unique or biased perspectives.” A recent comment made to me was that the referee had a good game to a point and then he had a penalty and a yellow card thrown for a high tackle.
The perception was that it was wrong and the crowd pressure brought him back to what they expected. The other side then say he penalized us without reason. The litany goes on. As referees climb, they practice to switch off external disturbances to concentrate on the game. Watch a game and you see him talk to the captain and to his team. At most, times he hears you is when he is leaving the field. What is taking place may be more symbolic of a lack of respect for authority in our culture. Storming a school to get a child in or coercing police is part of a larger incorrect learning process. Try getting into the shoes of a cop when a ticket is issued as against arguing? My side bias is common in Sri Lanka. Driving on any road if I cut the line, it is because I am in a hurry and I really need to get somewhere.
See the many cars with a medic sign that do not observe parking rules just because they have a sign pasted on the shield and stop anywhere so that the wife has little to walk with a shopping bag. Then you call someone else who cuts a line or park in a non-parking area, an ass. Much like couples who are in conflict. One calls the other a liar. Think of a counsellor trying to bring peace the issue and you face; blaming, defensiveness, contempt; and stalling. The school season over and the club season is to begin the problem I see is much closer and more important as the junior season begins. The fallout will be there and the impact will be worse as it involves younger age groups.
The recent Mercantile Sevens saw fewer issues as the management has laid down a strong process and was open to listen. Yet they too faced issue as known corporates tend to play those who may not be eligible. Brings me back to focus the issues discussed in a forum of postgraduate students on “Does Morality have an Essence in Corporate Life?” Those who lose out are those who play the game straight in keeping with what they preach as corporate social responsibility. Yet there is a ray of hope as teams realize the consequence. The job of the referee is to interpret and apply the laws of the game. All too frequently however, we have seen verbal assaults on referees, even where they applied those rules correctly.
The word interpret is the key and it is not a mathematical model nor is it a matter of English grammar as a wise fool tells. Fans are entitled both to their opinion and to voice it. There is no obligation to sit quiet at a match. There is no law to stop them shouting nor is there any restriction to calling support groups by any name they wish. Overriding all this is the need to be responsible because you are leading the young astray. You have a responsibility for the good of the game over the short-term gain. Especially when you shout with lots of spirits in your system when not only your thinking but you also see two balls on the field.
* Vimal Perera is a former Rugby Referee, coach and Accredited Referees Evaluator IRB