Don’t make light of play
View(s):As the saying goes; all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and here Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist at the Teaching Hospital Karapitiya, Dr. Udena Attygalle discusses why play is vital for the development of a child
“Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.”
-Mark Twain
Today’s children are so burdened with school, extra-curricular and tutoring obligations,they appear to hardly have a time to do the things they are not obliged to do, to play and be playful. It would not be an understatement to say that this space to play and ability to be playful is as important as the air we breathe. While we would suffocate without the later, children would in a sense suffocate developmentally and emotionally without the former.
While some may be surprised by the lack of time children nowadays have to play, many parents are painfully aware of this. With competition being intense, training and tutoring a child may even begin before school, significantly reducing the time available for play. While none of this is necessarily bad, and many parents are obliged to do so for the betterment of their children’s future, time for play has benefits that are far greater, but yet much more intangible.
When your daughter makes you an imaginary cup of tea, and you sip it pretending it’s the best cup of tea ever, it’s not “just play”! It’s your child seeing someone make a cup of tea, identifying with the person making it, wanting to engage in the same activity, having the motor skills and capacity to plan out the activity, gaining a sense of accomplishment in doing it, then having the social need to share it and then enjoying it together with you! And it doesn’t stop there. If you were to say that “it’s a good cup of tea but it needs a little more sugar” this would test her ability to regulate her emotions about not doing it perfectly, her resolve to redo the task or come up with a quick retort! All of these abilities are so important in today’s interconnected world.
Thus, in this interphase between reality and imagination, that we call play, children are developing important skills that are needed for the real world, but in the safety of the imaginary world. Hence, play is a unique activity, whic has a great impact on our state of wellbeing, because it gives us a chance to experience reality in a secure space, with no worry of being criticised or real pressure to win. This last factor becomes very apparent when you consider the difference between the joy of an impromptu game of cricket and the different kind of joy of winning a competitive game.
While playing comes naturally for children it may also be important for adults to retain a sense of playfulness, so they are able to connect with their children, and promote an environment where mistakes can be made in the security of play. This is important in today’s world where there is a premium on time and performance; and there is less and less opportunity to make mistakes. There is more and more emphasis on rule-based learning, rather than on the more natural “trial and error” forms of learning.Remembering the words of Samuel Becket, on the secret to life-long creativity: “fail, fail again, fail better” is important but almost impossible for children in today’s world.
So while it is important for children to play, it is also important for children to play with others. In more than one way “real life” is with others. Children learn a lot through interactions with others, the ability to realise what the other person maybe thinking and feeling, and being able to link this with what oneself is thinking and feeling, and then being able to respond appropriately is an important skill that play helps develop. In psychology this is called the ability to “mentalise”.
For parents, playing with their children also gives them an opportunity to understand the world of their children and to get to know what is going on for them. This might prevent them being suddenly blindsided in the future, getting to know about aspects of their children’s lives they should have known earlier. After all Plato once said that “you can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation”.
The other question that begs an answer is; so where do children play nowadays? While a generation ago I remember plenty of open spaces to play, children in urban settings today probably don’t have that luxury. The concept of common playgrounds, popular in other countries with large urban sprawls,may be the answer. Looking at the large number of families at the few playgrounds in Colombo on any given day, it is not difficult to understand the need for such spaces.
Play is also sometimes used in a therapeutic way. Play therapy is generally employed with younger children and provides children a means of expressing their experiences and feelings through a therapeutic process. Melanie Klein, a famous psychoanalyst believed that play provided access to the child’s unconscious. Anna Freud , her great rival, utilised play more to facilitate a therapeutic alliance.Virginia Axline, a later play therapist suggested that, “a play experience is therapeutic because it provides a secure relationship between the child and the adult, so that the child has the freedom and room to state himself in his own terms, exactly as he is at that moment, in his own way and in his own time”.
So finally, while play therapy may not be for all, play in general surely is. After all, “when life throws you a rainy day, sometimes it’s best to play in the puddles”. While we can’t prevent rainy days,maybe if we and our children can be playful enough, rainy days won’t really matter so much!
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