Arts
V Day: Let’s get the guys on board!
Valentine’s Day creeps up on us in a buzz of sweet nothings….flowers, chocolates, sweet treats, romantic dinners….. We mark down the days, some eagerly anticipating the occasion, others treating it as just another day. Each reaction so vastly different, yet one dynamic remains constant.
Let’s face it, expectations are high! With much of the marketing and advertising for Valentine’s Day targeted at women, we were curious as to how the guys handle the ‘expectations’ that seem to fall on them on this particular time, whether they believe these expectations exist and whether they are willing to shoot Cupid or give him a run for his money.
We interviewed 10 eligible gentlemen, between the age of 20- 85, for a male perspective on Valentine’s Day .This is what we found out;
What are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day?
* “I’m not really for it. For me it’s more a commercialized holiday, like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. This is a day for your significant other.I see every day as a day for something special for my significant other. I’m cheesy on a daily basis.” (Undergraduate, 23)
* “It’s ridiculous! It’s so commercialized!” But do you celebrate it? “Yes.” (Doctor, 33)
* “It is a meritorious celebration; I reckon an effort is made more than on other days. It shouldn’t be quantified simply on materialism, although materialism never hurt anyone in my opinion.” (Law student, 24)
* “I’ve never really celebrated Valentine’s Day” Why?“One day isn’t enough to really celebrate a relationship. (Business student, 24)
* “I don’t believe in Valentine’s Day. It’s a Western concept and is confined to people who don’t meet very often. In Sri Lanka we get to meet and spend time with our loved ones on a daily basis. We don’t need to have “one special day” to show them that we are here and that we care. There is no necessity to have a special day.” (Director, Playwright, Dramatist, 82)
* “Being thoughtful, caring, and understanding should be done on a daily basis, not just on Valentine’s Day.” ( Journalist, 24)
What obligations or expectations do you personally feel about Valentine’s Day?
* “If you don’t do something,you feel bad. It looks like you’re not invested.” (Undergraduate, 23)
* “I’d like to think that men are not that bothered about showcasing their love. I enjoy doing things at random on days. The littlest things show your significant other that you care. The expectations of proving your love is ridiculous. It then becomes more an obligation than genuinely wanting to do something.” (Doctor, 33)
* “I feel that yes, guys are expected to do something special and unique on this day and that the highlight is on girls. But anyone can take the initiative to plan or gift something. It’s not a competition.” ( Business student, 24)
*“It’s only an obligation if your significant other thinks that it’s a must to celebrate the day.” (Journalist, 24)
* “It’s not an obligation. Girls shouldn’t expect anything. If you do celebrate it, you should do it without thinking of it as an obligation.” (Lawyer, 29)
* “Yes, it’s an obligation. You should make her feel special and give her something to tell her friends about.” (Lawyer, 24)
What motivates you to celebrate the day?
* “I’m doing something for the other person and making her happy.” (Undergraduate, 23)
* “Surprising the other. A smile is always nice. Unexpected ones, the sweeter.” (Law student, 24)
* “The only motivation should be your partner. Because I’m in a long distance relationship, if I meet her on that day I’d celebrate it.” (Lawyer, 29)
Do you prefer your significant other being more direct in your relationship with what they want?
* “It’s much easier when they directly tell you what they want, but girls are mysterious. I don’t see that as bad. It gives you time to get to know them personally, and makes the surprise of what you give them so much more rewarding.” (Undergraduate, 23)
* “If she wants something I’d want her to be direct. I can’t be bothered playing mind games.” (Lawyer, 29)
* “A bit of both. [It’s] fun if she takes it with a laugh when I get it wrong. Direct, if she is catty.” (Law student, 24)
* “When it comes to things like gifts and things I enjoy the mystery and romance of it. But I want her to be direct with me when it comes to important things.”
( Marketer, 22)
* “Being direct would be nice. But then I feel that sense of surprise is lost. Unless of course the surprise goes wrong, because it wasn’t what she was expecting, then at those moments I wish she was direct.” ( Lawyer, 24)
What are the staple gifts/ plans you give/make for Valentine’s Day? What challenges do you face when shopping or
planning for it?
* “Flowers, chocolates, handmade cards” – (majority of the respondents)
* “I don’t see it as a cost or a challenge. It’s for a loved one. It’s more an investment.” ( Doctor, 33)
* “In the initial stages it’s difficult to buy gifts as you have to guess what your girlfriend would want or like. Also celebrating Valentine’s Day tends to be bad on the pocket.” ( Journalist, 24)
* “If it’s a younger couple, getting permission to go out and celebrate is an issue.” (Lawyer, 24)
Many like talking about their Valentine experiences. Do guys tend to talk about it with other guys?
* “I haven’t really met any guy who has spoken to me about their Valentine’s Day. I don’t talk about it in particular… It’s personal.” (Undergraduate, 23)
* “Guys don’t really talk about it. I don’t know why. They do ask for advice, in terms of what to get, what to do. It’s not that they think any less about the day, I think it’s because it’s a personal topic for them and they don’t care to share.” (Business student, 24)
What are your thoughts on being single on Valentine’s Day?
* “It’s never really bothered me. I’m assuming, like me, most treat it like a normal day.”
(Undergraduate, 23)
* “Nothing to tackle. They would probably do normal routine things.” (Doctor, 33)
* “I know that usually single guys go drinking on that day. But being single isn’t, and shouldn’t be an issue. If you learn to love yourself, it should be fine.” (Journalist, 24)
* “When I was single, I used to be very thankful that I was, unlike my friends who were under pressure to properly plan and celebrate the day.” ( Lawyer, 24)
How do you think women handle being single on this day?
* “From what I’ve observed from social media and from the conversations I’ve had with my friends it seems like women want to be with someone on days like Valentine’s Day.” (Marketer, 22)
* “Women are okay being single. They usually either build up their expectations based on what they see on Valentine’s Day, or they’re relieved after hearing the horrible Valentine’s Day celebration stories their friends went through. They try to be optimistic by thinking “maybe one day I’ll have that” or “I’m so glad I didn’t have to go through that.” (Lawyer, 24)
* “Probably celebrate with wine and movie night at home or at a club with free booze.” (Executive, 25)
* “Women usually deny it but they want to be with someone during that day. There are exceptions to the rule. But it’s normal for them to want to be with someone, because people need other people. No one wants to be alone.” (Lawyer, 29)
Suppose a girl bought you flowers and asked you to be her Valentine. What would be your thoughts?
* “I don’t like flowers, but I would accept it. It would make the house look nice.” (Doctor, 33)
* “I would be surprised but I would accept them. I would appreciate the sentiment.” (Business student, 24)
What do you like to receive this Valentine’s Day?
* “Nothing really. Well maybe forgiveness since I won’t be in the country on the 14th, so I’ll be missing this year’s Valentine’s Day.” (Lawyer, 24)
* “PS4.” ( Business Student, 24)
The stereotypes of advertising tend to make us believe that men are brain dead when it comes to romance, in reality men however do not think entirely the same. So to all the lucky significant others out there grab your man and have an exceptional Valentine’s Day and cherish every day of your relationship. To all those singles, have a read, a possible chuckle and know that February 14 is just another day. Happy Valentine’s Day.
| Want to be the seeni to my sambol? If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, but very much ready to mingle, why not use the cheesy, but uniquely, Sri Lankan pick-up lines from our curated list below; Are you Dilmah? cause you’re Ceylon’s finest. Want to be the seeni to my sambol? Are you the Ceylon Electricity Board? Cause you’re leaving me in the dark! You add so much value to my life that Ravi wants to slap VAT on it. Everytime I see you my heart feels like it’s in a private bus ride. A life without you is like String hoppers without the kirihodda. For you, I will put down my kotturotiya mid meal Life without you feels like the Mattala airport. You wanna come over, watch Atapattama and chill? You and I are like Galle Face and issowadai. It may not lead to you finding the one, but at least it’ll break the ice. On that note, how much does a polar bear weigh? …… Enough to break the ice! With that, we bid all you singles ‘Good Luck!’
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