Sunday Times 2
Young and wise: Lessons from my younger brother
View(s):In loving memory of Adhil Bakeer Markar
March 11th, Adhil would have been 27, and it is almost five months since this young soul left us. Just like another day, on this day, I would have spoken to him to inquire about how he is doing, plans for the weekend, about studies and cricket and what not. But today, I am sitting here, missing him, recalling all the memories to find comfort, and praying for him to be safe and happy.
One of my first memories and one which I recall very fondly dates back to March 11, 1991. I was almost six years and Adhil turned one that day. With 100 rupees in hand, I was so determined to get Adhil my first gift. After school, with my aunt, from a shop in Maradana I got him an orange toy rattle. I still remember giving it to him as soon as I got back home and playing with him.
Adhil Bakeer Markar
Adhil left us on October 11th evening or early 12th last year in London, almost a month after leaving Sri Lanka, in a land, thousands of miles away from home. Despite the availability of advanced medical technology, medical reasons for his departure from this world remains unexplained. “From God we come and to him we return”. God does not require a reason to take his creation back. We as a family and together with many of his friends find comfort in knowing, that it is only a matter of time until we reunite and that Adhil is under the care of the Almighty. He is certainly in a better place. May Allah the Almighty forgive him, have mercy on him and grant him Paradise!
That evening, hearing about what had happened and having to inform my brothers and parents, was nothing less than the world literally collapsing on all of us. Within a very short span of time, within minutes, we had to make our minds up that we would do his final service in London. Which meant that we wouldn’t have even had that one last chance of seeing him. There were numerous processes to be completed, which would have taken sometime, prior to laying a young person to rest whose death was unexplained. With God’s mercy, this permitted us to bring him back home. Today, his body is laid to rest close to our home, within a few minutes’ walk, giving us the opportunity to say Assalamu Alaikkum (May peace be upon you!), to pray for him and to tell him how much we miss him.
It has been five months since he left us. Everything still seems so unreal, a bad dream that we want to wake up from. It is the decree of God, which we accept, but as humans an emotional struggle no less.
Adhil was an old boy of Royal College Colombo. He attended Asian International School for his advanced level studies, holder of a law degree and graduated from Sri Lanka Law College. Adhil represented his country as a youth delegate at the United Nations and was a director at the National Youth Services Council. He was a student at the London School of Economics and Political Science [LSE] reading his postgraduate degree in Comparative Politics and was a Chevening Scholar.
Since his departure, many who were close to him did quite a number of things to remember Adhil. Royal College class of 2009 and Law College batch mates held religious ceremonies, friends at Asian International School organised the ‘Adhil Bakeer Markar Memorial Cricket Match’ between old boys and the current cricket team, organised a memorial service and handed the ‘Adhil Bakeer Markar Trophy for the Best Cricketer’ to the school to be awarded annually. Colleagues at the legal chambers where he interned, organised an activity day for kids at an orphanage in Kaluthara. LSE had a memorial event and there was a minute of silence at the Chevening Scholars orientation day. LSE Islamic Society continues to raise funds for water projects in Adhil’s name and a friend replaced a roof of a poor family with the money that would have cost him to fly home. Students and teachers at Ahadiya (Sunday School) where Adhil studied and taught, held a religious event as well. The staff at Golden Gate International School in Beruwala dedicated their annual award for academic excellence as the ‘Adhil Bakeer Markar Award’. A heartfelt ‘thank you’ goes out to everyone we know and whom we have not personally met, for dedicating acts of kindness in Adhil’s name, continuing to pray for him and being there with us.
I wondered how, so many people did such meritorious acts to remember Adhil. I have come to understand that in Adhil’s untimely demise, they all lost a kind soul, a friend, a colleague and a valued brother, with whom they all had great memories. We knew Adhil was active and close with friends and family, but we realise it was so much more than we knew. The outpouring of love from all corners of Sri Lanka and beyond bears testimony to that. Let me quote someone who wrote to the family, “The question here is how can someone I’ve never gotten the opportunity to meet, impact my life so severely and change my entire perspective on what’s important in this life and dunya (worldly life) in just a matter of minutes? When I heard of his death, on the night of 14th October 2016, at 11:45 PM on Facebook, I was severely disoriented. Mind you, I didn’t know Adhil personally but his untimely death took a toll on me.”
One may wonder, how someone can possibly have such an effect which has shaken so many people from all over. Answer is, Adhil was Adhil. He was so humble, simple and friendly. He was a kind soul who always had a contagious smile. In his life and in his death, Adhil has shared some lessons with all of us, about what sort of life we ought to live, to be simple and care for others, a legacy we all need to aspire to leave behind.
Adhil was a pious believer, who was conscious and cognizant of God. His final voice message sent to his niece in response to her asking how he was, Adhil said, “I am okay, I am having a slight fever but will be okay InSha Allah”. InSha Allah, meaning God willing, in this case he was saying he will be okay, God willing. InSha Allah he will be more than okay under God’s protection and with His mercy.
His last journey was to seek knowledge, to pursue higher studies. Adhil gave great importance to seeking knowledge. He would gain so much knowledge by just listening to both young and old, and by reading newspapers and books; he always encouraged youth to pursue a path seeking knowledge.
Helping someone and having empathy were trademark features of Adhil. In his last email to my elder brother, he was requesting him to guide and assist a friend who was looking for employment. One of his last emails, just days before he passed away, Adhil wrote to a very senior US-based journalist, requesting him to guide a friend he met at university who wanted to pursue higher education in journalism.
A day or two before he left us, he posted a card wishing our mother on her birthday. We received it two weeks after his demise. In it Adhil shared a very strong message on appreciation with his siblings, where he penned “Dear Umma (mother), This will be one of those rare times where I will be missing your birthday! This is simply a reminder for all your five boys to show how thankful, grateful and fortunate we are to have such a loving and caring mother like you!!! Alhamdullilah (praise be to God)! Miss you more than you know!!! Much love! Adhil”.
In 2015, as the youngest brother was preparing to leave for his studies, Adhil shared a very short piece of advice. He said “Always, always do the right thing”. This was Adhil’s wisdom at such young age. Personally for me, the biggest lesson is about life and death, to be able to receive a life one day and accept the departure of another the next day. It is about how I view the certainty of death in a positive light. Appreciating the people around you, helping them, doing the right thing and preparing for my time is certainly something that I have learnt, as I await the reunion with my brother. Adhil, this lesson is one that will be passed on to your nephew and my son, young Adhil, whose picture you saw but never met.
Overall, these are some amazing life lessons Adhil has shared with us during his life and in his demise. We have been blessed to be able to have known this great human being for even the short time he was with us. I am certain that this is how he wanted him to be remembered.
The legacy Adhil left behind will never be forgotten and cannot be forgotten. This is why his family and friends have formed the Adhil Bakeer Markar Foundation to do acts of kindness to benefit the departed soul and to continue the vision Adhil left us with. If time permits, do join us to do our bit and continue from where Adhil handed over.
As the struggle continues, the only thing I can request from all of you is to remember my little brother Adhil and us in your kindest prayers, always. My appreciation to all of you for continuing to be there with us and for us.
Adhil, Thank you for the wonderful brotherhood and the memories! You will remain in our hearts forever and we miss you dearly.
Until we reunite, InSha Allah, stay safe brother.
Fadhil Bakeer Markar