Appreciations
View(s):A classic iconoclast with catholic tastes
Asoka Warnasuriya
I had just finished my breakfast when there was a call on my mobile phone from an unfamiliar number. My sister and her husband saw my apprehension as I fielded the call. It was from Asoka’s youngest daughter Mihiri who I thought was concluding her studies at Cambridge University. She said her father had passed away the night before and her mother Dilmani wanted us informed. That was how initially the devastating news broke.
Asoka was also a Royalist although our paths only crossed at the University of Ceylon, Colombo Campus and thereafter at the Katubedda campus in 1972. Asoka was a mathematician there whilst I was an undergraduate at the Department of Architecture. After that, there was never a time when I was not in touch with dear Asoka. Our minds coalesced wherever necessary and differed of course without rancour when needed. I used to meet Dilmani, whom Asoka was yet to marry at her Havelock Road residence . It was open house at Dilmani’s, the tradition of which continued after their marriage. After the festivities of the wedding and homecoming, Asoka and Dilmani set up house at Pamankada which was like a second home to friends like us.
Asoka’s interests were wide and varied. He was equally at home enunciating Schrodinger’s theory or discussing the latest film of Ingmar Bergman. His choice of music was eclectic and ranged from folk rock to ballads to opera. He was also an avid reader surpassed probably only by his wife and companion for life, Dilmani. Arguably, he was the one of a kind who could and did hold his own against anyone. Another one of Asoka’s intelligent pursuits was Contract bridge where he represented Sri Lanka in international tournaments. I used to tag along with Asoka or with our mutual bridge friends like Paul and Manel De Niese, but my forays ended up with having a good drink whilst watching the bridge players.
Asoka and Dilmani were extremely warm people who were absolutely loyal to their friends and I was privileged to be a prime beneficiary of their goodwill in myriad ways. So now it is up to Dilmani to take up cudgels and hold the torch for both herself and the incomparable Asoka. They have been blessed with their son Asanga, doing extremely well in the commercial sector and their two daughters, in academia, Renu a Fulbright scholar and Mihiri, a recipient of a Cambridge scholarship reading for her Ph D. Incidentally Renu’s husband’s aunt Sunila Abeyesekera, used to be my literary mentor editing my University thesis. Knowing my connection to Sunila, I remember Asoka asking me who this Sunila was , prior to Renu’s marriage to Nanda. I told him what I knew and said that it would be a marriage made in heaven. Needless to say Asoka and Dimani were keen that their offspring chose suitable life partners of their own volition.
Another endearing facet of Asoka was that he was the embodiment of Rudyard Kipling’s IF. He was one who could walk with Kings but not lose the common touch. But by no means was he common. He was an exceptional human being and a humanist at all times. That maybe was why he palled up with my elder brother Mahes. They were both argumentative to a fault and both stuck to their guns, but became closer and closer. The enjoyable albeit heated arguments at dinner tables at estate bungalows wherever my brother was stationed, were legendary. Of course Dilmani and I had ringside seats at their jousting bouts which however never ended in fisticuffs. The holidays spent in Mankerni in the East coast in the early 80s were indeed memorable in addition to the copious amounts of spirits consumed. Midnight seabaths were galore and one of the group, banker Kalinga indulged in his pet hobby of bird watching at night. All in good fun. In other words there was never a dull moment with Asoka around, singing his signature song-Bob Dylan’s Blowing in the Wind. In fact Paul would attempt to get a rise out of Asoka calling him “How many roads Warnasuriya”. Of course Asoka never took the bait. He was his own man always.
Asoka was also a computer whiz kid whilst I was almost a Luddite. Even at home he would be found staring and working at the computer whilst I would be seated by him indulging in desultory conversation and quaffing drinks. He was a master at downloading interesting snippets of information both political and otherwise, and he would send these to his friends and family. So much so that when his friends didn’t receive any such mails for a few days , they would ring and ask Dilmani whether he was ill.
Vices he had. Smoking was the worst. Social drinking was ‘de riguer’and kept the conversation especially at parties in full swing. We all had a jolly good time with Asoka in his element. Dilmani was the designated driver. Such good times and halcyon days indeed.
Asoka was a person who would literally give his shirt off his back for a friend. I particularly remember one instance when Nimal came in a rush to my home and requested me to accompany him on a delicate mission in Embilipitya. This was in the mid 70s and Embilipitiya was just a name I read in the papers and akin to the American wild west. I said OK and asked him “when’’? He said as soon as possible. We then went to Asoka’ s residence in Pamankada and made a request to borrow his Renault Dauphin. Dilmani looked askance but Asoka readily parted with the vehicle although that was his sole mode of conveyance to go to work. Nimal drove the car and we reached Embilipitiya around midnight and immediately proceeded to engage in negotiation with the intended father in law. Happily everything ended up OK and I along with Nimal heaved sighs of relief. The rest was history. It also showed Asoka was never judgemental and didn’t have a mean streak in him.
Of all my friends Asoka and Dilmani were some of my mother’s favourites and she used to look forward to their visits. My mother passed away in 2008 and now Asoka is no more. I suppose that is destiny or kismet. There were different phases in Asoka’s life – a chequered career indeed. Finally he became his own boss and set up a Computer software consultancy. Here too his innate humanism showed in his dealings. Asoka spent his retirement in reading about Sri Lanka’s heritage and amassed quite a collection of books on Ceylon and Sri Lanka. He was never for whatever reason a globe trotter. He was out and out a Sri Lankan being comfortable in his own skin. On one occasion when I was giving Narada a lift to his home he said Asoka was the most brilliant of his siblings and could have reached dizzy heights in academia, business or even politics if he applied himself. And this was straight off the bat from Narada – an eminent Emeritus Professor of Paediatrics and ultimately Vice Chancellor of the University of Sri Jayawardenepura.
I would be failing in my duty, if I did not mention a few of Asoka’s salient qualities. Not only was he a true blue samasamjist like his uncle LC and his father, he was a man of the world. There was no racism in his mind or thoughts, his religion was pacifism and he did not subscribe to narrow sectarian politics. His friends included all the races, covering all religions and he did not care for caste or creed. Quintessentially Asoka was a man for all seasons. His vanity extended only to his well tended moustache. So I in turn and for my part having done my bit in extolling the virtues of dear departed Asoka shall conclude by quoting from Robert Frost’s poem
Stopping by woods on a snowy evening
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
This is my humble opinion and plea for Dilmani, Asanga,Charini, Nanda, Renu and Mihiri on behalf of dear Asoka to follow without fear and with fervour.
Srilal Waidyatilleke
Here’s to the great times we shared
Bernard Shanmuganathan
A larger than life personality, Bernard Shanmuganathan was certainly that. We lost this great friend a couple of weeks ago and it’s simply impossible to come to terms with his loss. We feel a sense of emptiness around.
Way back in the early 70’s, we met at the hostel of St. Anthony’s College Kandy (SACK) that was the breeding ground for four and a half decades of friendship among the boarders, as we were known then. The SACK 1980 batch was quite a popular batch in college circles and Bernard was in the centre of it. He was instrumental in keeping the batch together throughout with his colourful and cheerful way of life. We were like brothers and were glued together like one family. In fact, we were a family.
Dear Bernard, for you, life was a journey that was to be lived ‘your way’, in the literal sense. That was to be concerned about others more than yourself. To make everyone around you more comfortable than you were. To bring forth joy and happiness to all around you. To live a life that would be meaningful in more than one way. You certainly did all that and more.
Cricket was Bernard’s sporting passion. He was a great wicket keeper- batsman and his contemporaries would have many stories to relate of his cricketing deeds. He worked very hard from scratch to build a successful business which is a tribute to his focus and attention on anything that he embarked upon.
He also built a network of friends and acquaintances. He loved his music and sang better than anyone else to keep a session going. Not only was he there for any event but made sure it was a memorable one with his joyful antics. He would be the first to help when a friend was in need. He loved people. These memories that we cherish will never fade away. It’s firmly etched in our hearts. Caring and sharing was his theme. There was never a dull moment with him around. A man of wit, will and winning mindset.
Dear Bernard, for you, the present was far more important than the past and you cherished every bit of it. Not to regret anything but to build the best around you, be it business or personal. To make life a joyful journey of memories and fun and not one centred on accolades and other achievements. To spread love and see a world filled with emotions.
He had a blessed family with his wife and two daughters- Shanthi, Shalini and Sharon. He has made sure they are provided for.
Goodbye my friend. We bid good bye to a great soul whom we can proudly call a true friend. Physically you may not be around us but the memories left behind will be permanently in our hearts reminding us of the great times. Well lived my friend.
May your soul rest in peace.
Murali Prakash – On behalf of the 1980 batch
of SACK
Bedecked in her finest, she lived life to the fullest
CHANDRAKALA RATNAYAKE (nee SENANAYAKE)
Three months ago, on May 12, at around 1.05 p.m., my beloved mother departed this world, after courageously fighting an ailment that was discovered, treated and that persisted for only three months. Even three months after her passing, her abrupt departure continues to be an unacceptable, indescribable feeling in my life. The only consolation is that the duration of her anguish was minimal.
Over the last three months of Ammi’s life, the extent of emotional suffering my father Ananda Ratnayake and I underwent, along with my mother’s closest relatives cannot be woven into mere words. It was even more startling to witness such a strong-willed woman, who was once robust, courageous and good-looking, bearing void of complaint, all the complications involved. Yet, what amazed me the most was the fact that she did not give-up until her very last breath, in the Kurunegala hospital’s coronary care unit. That was after undergoing treatment in the hospital’s Oncology unit for two months.
My mother lived a complete and dynamic life. Amongst the seven siblings of the Senanayake family from Kurunegala, she was the fourth. Having obtained her education from Maliyadeva Girls’ College in Kurunegala, she joined the Hayleys Group back in the 1960s, where she served for nine years. While in school and in later years she played basketball under the guidance of All-India Basketball Coach, P. Chelladurai. After tying the knot with my father in 1973, she pursued a career at Marhaba Travels in Sharjah, U.A.E. where she served for several years before returning to Sri Lanka. Later in her life, she lived with me, in California U.S.A. and in Sri Lanka until her passing.
Ammi was divergent in every possible way from her siblings and all others in her family circle and friends. When her three sisters who served as teachers wore saree, Ammi chose mini-skirts and slacks. She always pursued the finest, even in trivial entities. A detail oriented person, everything had to be well-defined and clear-cut to earn her acceptance. She dressed uniquely and matching jewellery was a key. At functions, she illuminated the table with her laughter.
She loved me dearly, regardless of our mother-daughter disagreements in various matters. Even all the lovely verses in the entire universe knitted into a single tapestry will not explain this boundless feeling within me, since her passing. Ammi, I love you and I always will!
Sunalie Ratnayake