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Unable to fathom the disastrous performance of our cricket team in all forms of the game a Sri Lankan cricket lover here asked me the other day what was worse-our cricket or our politics.

Had the question been formulated differently I would have unhesitatingly said both. Alas this left no option but to ask him to rephrase. After all, even Hobson provided an easier option.

Trying to unravel what is going on in Sri Lanka’s politics and cricket at one and the same time is more complicated than trying to understand the possible multiple meanings of Ruth Stein’s saying “a rose is a rose is a rose”. At least it is so for ordinary people like us.

A few days ago former Royal College cricketer, left arm spinner Mahinda Wijesinghe wrote in a perceptive piece on the game that in the last six years Sri Lanka cricket has had six coaches.

Whether they were got rid of-reluctantly like Ravi Karunanayake or with great jubilation like Wijeyadasa Rajapakshe – or took to their heels at early signs of wayside cooks being asked to prepare a Chinese banquet for a visiting delegation in search of a lease deal, is not clear.

Well, the way our politics is progressing under the yahapalanaya escutcheon we are likely to lose more ministers than coaches by the end of the ‘season’ so to say. That would not be a bad thing at all to judge by the kind of individual who today sits in ministerial chairs and makes policy on our behalf. It is not surprising that the country’s reputation be it in governance or in the administration of the game of cricket that once produced internationally admired players has today turned out to be like the witches broth in Macbeth.

There is of course an important distinction. When our foreign coaches lose their jobs they return home or find a coaching assignment in another country where their talents are more appreciated unlike by the naivetes that maladminister what is left of cricket in Sri Lanka. Sadly when our ministers or politicians are kicked out they hang around like leaches, sometimes not leaving their official residences or returning their official vehicles. That is the public perception anyway whatever the truth.

This much we know for sure. After a change of government it has taken the damnedest to get rid of some former occupants of official residences who had deluded themselves into believing they have been bequeathed to them in perpetuity or on a 99-year lease like the Hambantota Port to the Chinese.
Talking of leases can be a dangerous thing seeing what happened to Penthouse Ravi and Sasana Dasa in the course of this month. To adapt the words of Oscar Wilde losing one minister is unfortunate but losing two is surely carelessness on the part of the UNP which in the Paleolithic age promoted itself as the cleanest of the cleanest this side of the Deduru Oya.

If the UNP has now begun to lose things, so has Sri Lanka cricket. In fact cricket almost lost another coach when Nic Pothas aired his views after the hammering we got from India in the first ODI which we lost by nine wickets. In a post-match comment Pothas referred to “too many cooks” messing around with the game without leaving matters in the hands of those mandated to do the jobs they have been assigned.

It is has been a national trait in Sri Lanka to interfere in the work of others. This is particularly true of politicians and their henchmen who try and play cook when their expertise is in fields too well known and need no reiteration. So coach Pothas was quite right when he drew a distinction between the players and their support staff who he found admirable in performing their allotted roles and others who were more adept at Monty Pythonesque comedy that only adds to farce that passes for administration.

Having tangentially chastised (no names, no designations of course) those in Sri Lanka Cricket for poking their fingers into affairs that are best left to others, Pothas said what has been said publicly many a time by the disgruntled. But some administrators are so thick-skinned that they would make rhino skins seem as soft as Shanghai silk.

Perhaps Graham Ford who was appointed Sri Lanka coach said so in no uncertain terms and that is why he ended his assignment prematurely and left for pastures where the game is run without interference and not by rookies and bookies for whom cricket is a game that brings kudos and more lucrative benefits.

Obviously Pothas’ remarks about parippu-making cooks passing off as cordon bleu chefs, so to say, seemed to have aroused the ire of three-piece suit wearing pundits who appear to have clamped down on the former Hampshire player, according to media reports.

As one Sri Lankan here put it Pothas almost went pattas. So between Dambulla and Pallekele, the poor man had a change of heart or it was changed for him reports suggest. Now that our scalpel-wielders are doing transplants maybe our administrators have picked up the art, or rather the science of it.
However, as many disgusted members of the public say not to rely on the Generally Messy Operators Association (also known as the GMOA) because those pin-adi fellows are heartless.

In case some have missed out on the great game going on off the field rather than on it, let me quote from an Indian newspaper that has adeptly captured the mood and the mess.

In a long headline the Hindustan Times said:
How Sri Lanka coach was bullied by cricket officials ahead of 2nd ODI vs India
“After slamming “too many cooks” for spoiling Sri Lankan cricket team in the wake of Indian cricket team’s crushing win in the first ODI on Sunday, interim head coach Nic Pothas was forced to issue a statement saying all is fine with the process in place.

Sri Lankan cricket, in crisis with the national team plunging from one low on the field to another in the ongoing India tour, scrambled on Wednesday to limit the public relations disaster that followed defeat against Virat Kohli’s side in the first One-day International at Dambulla at the weekend.
Sri Lankan cricket team’s interim coach, Nic Pothas had blasted the current set up following the nine-wicket defeat at Dambulla saying “too many cooks” were responsible for the current plight of the national team, which was also routed 3-0 in the Test series.

However, Sri Lanka Cricket took the drastic step on Wednesday of asking South African Pothas to issue a statement at the press conference ahead of the second ODI to be played at the Pallekele International Stadium on Thursday. Pothas this time said everything was fine with the team set-up and the processes put in place would pull Sri Lanka out of the rut. He even blamed the media for putting a “spin” of his previous statement and that he had no issues with the Sri Lankan cricket board.

His comments were in contrast to that on Sunday when he said the players suffered because there were too many people meddling in selection and decision-making. Stalwarts of the 1996 World Cup triumph, Sanath Jayasuriya (chief selector) and Asanka Gurusinha (cricket manager), play influential roles.
“We will start off with a statement from the coach, and then a statement from the captain before we go into the Q and A,” announced Vrai Raymond, SLC’s media head. “We would like to limit it to tomorrow’s match and nothing else.”

“And just to clarify things because you guys love a little spin on a good story, I’m very, very happy with the situation with the Board, which has been hugely supportive of everything that I do and the players do. Certainly I have no issues there.”

Ha! Who says Sri Lanka Cricket cannot do wonders for the game? It took one-time wicket keeper Pothas and overnight turned him into a spinner. Now if that is not great work what is?

Perhaps Sri Lanka Cricket should start bidding for Treasury bonds seeing how deftly it changed the man into a blithering con artist-that is if the media is to be believed.

One was not quite sure whether Pothas said too many cooks or too many crooks. If it was the latter he must surely have been referring to some of our politicians whose heavy scoring in the tender games far exceed the collective effort of the Indians since the start of this tour.

And in case too many questions are asked SLC’s media manager, some chap called Vrai Raymond seems to have put a lid on freedom of speech. At a pre-match press conference Vrai Raymond had limited media questions to four and only questions on the match to be played.

I mean even a question on the state of the weather would have been tabooed like the UNP trying to cover-up the bond scandal. Perhaps a change of name from Vrai to Wry Raymond might seem appropriate.

C’est vrai, Raymond?