Is a woman’s choice of attire a reason to abuse her?
View(s):Much to my regret, the pressures of work and family took a toll on “Voice for Women” which resulted in a slight disruption in the column, but there have been so many disturbing issues of late that directly affect us women that it was a matter of great motivation to ensure this column continues! So along with apologies for the lull, I am back and I shall endeavour to continue to be a Voice for Women within the sphere of print media as well.
The recent Harvey Weinstein scandal that has rocked Hollywood has brought to focus Casting Couch harassment. Pic Courtesy AFP
An issue causing waves of discontent and disgust amongst the more ‘enlightened’ community at large is that female freedom, particularly that from sexual harassment, is not taken seriously enough nor given adequate attention. The public is crying out for more awareness for equality of the sexes, especially with regard to this aspect, and respect for people and their individual choices in general. The issue is particularly ironic, given that it has come to the fore during the month when the world celebrates ‘International Day of the Girl Child’. Like International Women’s Day on March 8, one may question the merits of needing such a day – Surely everyday should be Women’s/Girl’s day, but given the reality of the status quo, and in the interest of discussing a more pertinent issue, I will leave that question with the statement that at present and until we have finally ‘arrived’ at true social equality, any and all awareness helps. Thus these assigned Days for celebrating and drawing attention to girls and women, continues to help.
With so many issues pertaining to the vile notion of sexual harassment of both the sexes, for the purposes of the article, I would like to focus on the female and her choice of behaviour and dress and the effect and impact this could and should have on the eradication of Sexual Harassment.
I have been observing with interest how many big names in the Hollywood film industry have been recently turning their gaze to the proverbial – or in this case not so proverbial but horrifyingly realistic – notion of the Casting Couch. It has been the most public secret in the Industry, amongst many for a very long time, and sadly in all likelihood is not confined to simply the silver screen but has infected most of the Entertainment industry too.
It is not only relevant to the prominent and visible ‘stars’ of the industry like the leading ladies on screen and stage. It is also relevant to those who work in less ‘visible’ – although no less important roles – such as the waitresses and service personnel of the entertainment industry. The notion of sexual harassment is nothing new and has been around for a long time. It is simply not always talked about and certainly not seen as something to be taken seriously enough to take action against it. One often hears the phrase, “It goes with the territory” and the fact that so many of us have done so little to stand up against it, is in fact very distressing and perhaps part of the problem. ‘Better late than never’ comes to mind, and whilst this is horribly insufficient to correct the wrongs of the past, this renewed wave of awareness will hopefully reduce and someday even eradicate the wrongs of the future.
If the “#Me Too” Status of (mostly) women posted on a popular social media site, from numerous walks, stages and ages of life, involved in varied and vivid careers, from all around the Globe is anything to go by, then this notion of harassment and any regard for privacy and respect for a fellow human being, whether they be male or female, has been sorely lacking. Worse, it becomes apparent as one delves deeper under the surface, that it has had no boundaries, is completely non-discriminatory and worst of all, considered acceptable behaviour.
Sexual Harassment, of anyone, by anyone, is NEVER ACCEPTABLE. When it is the strong, preying on the weak, it is deplorable, and when it is accepted as being common place and acceptable, because, after all they are ‘asking for it’ due to their behaviour/dress/manner/demeaner, it is downright disgusting. The worst offenders are those who somehow believe that females should adhere to some standard ‘modest’ dress code and that if they step out of that mode by dressing ‘revealingly’, behaving ‘provocatively’ or by speaking ‘flirtatiously’, women / girls (for the most part) should have expected it and worse yet, they deserved it.
At a time when ‘Freedom’ is the buzz word of the day, and being authentic is considered the ultimate, it is simply mind boggling and absurd, that this same freedom and authenticity is curtailed when it comes to the attire and behaviour of ladies in particular. That somehow being even slightly less modestly dressed than some imaginary standard, somehow allows one person to cat call, holler, comment, objectify or worse, force unwanted attention on another person, all with the justification that by doing so, they ‘asked for it’.
Despite Society sometimes expecting otherwise, in my mind, there is no question that the fault/blame/deplorable behaviour lies with the perpetrator. Irrespective of what the victim wears or even doesn’t wear, the problem lies not with the person expressing themselves and their individuality, but with the person who sees as it as an invitation to intimidate and harass another. When such behaviour is directed at one who can stand up for themselves, it is not as damaging, though no less deplorable. However, when it is directed at one who feels threatened, intimidated and worse, is unable to defend themselves against the onslaught, then it becomes a punishable offence.
So where does this stem from? Why is it that it is considered commonplace and not so offensive to carry on in such a manner? In my mind, at the very root of the issue is apathy and indifference. If people cared enough to make it known that it was simply not alright and totally unacceptable, then things could begin to change. We as a society could be more informed and more vocal and present when it comes to demanding better behaviour. As parents of a son and daughter, my husband and I are always try to impress upon our son, the need to treat not only his sister but all people with respect and kindness, and of course, vice versa. This of course also includes, being aware that anything that hurts another, is NOT ok. So perhaps one way to fashion society for the future is by first educating our own children and instilling in them a strong understanding that it is so very important to respect fellow human beings and their choices and celebrate rather than ridicule their differences.
I for one believe that the change must come not from the wearer of the revealing clothes, irrespective of the motivation and intention behind it. Instead the change must come from the person who sees it as an invitation to pursue, when there was none. It is the individual who sees the world cross eyed who must make the effort to straighten his vision. Whilst many celebrities around the world have vehemently stood up, spoken out and promoted action towards bringing about an end to Violence Against Women, I was most moved and encouraged to hear two honest-to-goodness-heros of Sri Lankan and World Cricket, Kumar Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardena recently put it so succinctly during one such Educational Programme surrounded by schoolgirls: “Is a female’s choice of attire, a reason to abuse her…”