The treatment meted out to a  Gaurawa is far from honourable ‘The Gaurawa’ is the title the National Savings Bank (NSB) gives to a Senior Citizen whose deposits the Bank holds.Very honourable, pleasing, and distinguished. That was the  day MR, then President,wearing an  extra hat of Finance, during the Budget speech, slapped a tax on the [...]

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The treatment meted out to a  Gaurawa is far from honourable

‘The Gaurawa’ is the title the National Savings Bank (NSB) gives to a Senior Citizen whose deposits the Bank holds.Very honourable, pleasing, and distinguished.

That was the  day MR, then President,wearing an  extra hat of Finance, during the Budget speech, slapped a tax on the interest received by a Gaurawa on the fixed deposits and received table thumping applause from the lackeys and hangers-on who were seated with him,because the tax was modest.

That was not the way the Gaurawa saw the increase. One can recognise the Gaurawa by his attire.The ragged shoes,the withered cork hat,the weather beaten tussore suit and a tie which is no better than a faded, crumpled, tobacco leaf. He looks like Mr. Bojangles,the bedraggled man living in the Deep South, celebrated in song by Sammy Davis Jr. Looks are deceptive.

The morn after the MR Budget,I met a Gaurawa on the road bordering the Diyawanna Oya taking his usual walk,which he calls a constitutional,and asked what he thinks of the withholding  tax on the interest on his deposits.I will teach this fellow a lesson when the election comes around, he replied.

What happened to MR is in the public domain. He cannot now remember his own seat in the Assembly. Just the other day he was seen sitting in the seat meant for the Leader of the Opposition, R Sampanthan, an old boy of St Patrick’s  College, Jaffna, who studied at a time when Fr Long, the Irish Oblate was the Headmaster.He took the school to such great  heights persuading the Royalty of Africa to send their sons like Kibuka, a super sprinter, for a time. His cousin Kaguwa a super hurdler,entered Trinity where Rev Fraser was the Headmaster.

The current Finance Minister is in the Assembly not via an election. He is from a high rise in Wall Street. He has increased by 100% beyond a certain threshold, the withholding tax on income earned by Gaurawas from their fixed deposits. Soon followed a long form from the banks. How in God’s name can a Gaurawa suffering from say Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, Dementia, the dreaded afflictions of the aged, fill and sign any form?

If he goes to a black coat to get his illegible scrawl of a signature attested he will get fleeced. He cannot get help from his wife, a Gaurawa herself, now bedridden after a coronary.  His children are in Alice Springs or Melbourne, maybe doing some odd job the descendants of convicts shun from doing, just to keep body and soul together.I am a step ahead of the rip-off artists, so there is no need to fill an idiotic form. My savings are under the mattress.

The tax on coconut oil is reduced on the grounds that it protects the colon.One can have an excellent colon and still die of a heart attack because coconut oil is associated with low density lipoprotein.To add insult to injury corporate taxes and the tax on beer were reduced. Now beer is a beverage taken by those living on the fast lane who have a habit of driving their high octane cars into the waters.

The sum collected by imposing this monstrous tax on Gaurawas is a pittance I know. Apart from being familiar with the abacus and slide rule I know how to count with my fingers. But the political cost is damaging.Those who advised the Finance Minister to introduce the tax are saboteurs and traitors who wish the collapse of the government. They are inside the camp. Identify and eliminate the Judaic betrayers before it is too late. Meanwhile the President in his wisdom must quickly intervene and take the ghastly burden  off the shoulders of the Gaurawas.

 Ephrem Fernando  Via email


A time for one and all  to celebrate

The lark sings her sweetest song
To cover with blood-red flowers Erabadu trees long
Entire atmosphere fills with crackers
Then I’ll know Sinhala
New Year gradually nears

Having a nice bath in the ‘Great ocean of milk’
Getting on to her chariot wearing white silk
Distributing among children all her riches
New Year Queen, brings prosperity and good wishes

Children would run all over the garden
Their happy faces resembling another Eden
They sing ‘onchilly varam’- a traditional swing song
Look! A large crowd has gathered and none would do wrong

This national festival which one and all embrace
Comes only after 365 days
Sinhala New Year! I pay tribute to you and hail
Where ancient customs would always prevail.

W.P. Somawardana  Kelaniya


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