5th Column

My dear Mahinda maama,
I didn’t think I would be writing to you again so soon but you seem to find some reason to be in the news, although you are only a backbench MP representing Kurunegala – even if it is about the Police turning up at your doorstep to question you regarding someone who was abducted ten years ago.

The reason I wanted to write to you, however, was this suggestion that you can contest the big elections once more. I am sure this must have come as a surprise even to you because we were all led to believe, for the past three and a half years, that this was not possible, after that amendment was passed.

Why, soon after ‘yahapaalanaya’ came into being, Maithri and the Green Man got together and passed that amendment to the Constitution which introduced many changes. It also prevented anyone from being the big boss more than twice. In fact, that amendment was passed almost unanimously.

At the time, some said the amendment was designed to prevent the ‘R’ family from engaging in politics because it prevented you from running for the highest office again and also prevented dual citizens from being elected. That must have been aimed at Gota and Basil, the critics said.

Of course, amending constitutions for personal gain is not new to those of us in Paradise. Sirima did it, so she could stay in office for two more years. JR did it, so he could become the big boss. You did it too, so you could run for a third time – which you did, and unfortunately and unexpectedly lost.

Now however, some people are telling us that the change Maithri and the Green Man made becomes effective only on the day it became law – and therefore you are eligible to run for the top job once again – not once, but twice! Just imagine, you could be the big boss till you are eighty-five years old!

That must be music to your ears, Mahinda maama. Once you sit in that chair, it is difficult to let go of all the power it gives you. Looking back, only JR and DB retired gracefully. Satellite tried to stay for a year more, you tried to stay for six more years and Maithri, despite his promises, wants to stay on.

The other reason why this must be good news for you is because the ‘pohottuwa’ has a problem in deciding who its next candidate should be, and many names – including Gota, Basil and Chamal – are being thrown around. We know Gota is the frontrunner, but then, that is easier said than done, isn’t it?

To begin with, Gota will have to get rid of his citizenship in Trumpland. No one knows how long that will take. He also has half a dozen court cases pending where he is a ‘person of interest’. Then, people such as Vasu and Welgama quite openly say they don’t want him to be the big boss.

If you had to decide on which ‘R’ was to contest, it would have been really difficult for you. Surely, you must have also thought about entering Namal baby’s name but he will only be thirty-four when the race is run – and the age limit was raised from thirty to thirty-five in the last amendment!

So, Mahinda maama, if you are able to run again, life would be much easier for you, but still, I would advise you to proceed with a lot of caution. That is because you are being told that you can run again by Sarath and GL – and on this matter their advice is as good as Sumaney’s advice was in 2015!

I know Sarath is a long-time friend, but you must surely remember how he tried to act as if he was running the country when he presided over the bench. Remember also, this is a chap who apologised to the nation in public, saying he should have found you guilty of the ‘Helping Hambantota’ matter.

As for GL, he thinks his initials stand for God of Law but the man with the lean and hungry look is not to be trusted. He was initially with Satellite, then he flirted with the Green Man and now he is with you. Remember, the Green Man is still suffering because of the ceasefire this chap brokered.

Honestly, Mahinda maama, if I were you, I wouldn’t be too confident of running again. The matter has to be dealt with by the highest court. They recently said that Maithri can govern for only five years because of the amendment, although when he was elected, he was elected for six years.

If they apply the same yardstick for you, you will be back at square one, having to choose another candidate and having wasted a lot of time loitering in the corridors of Hulftsdorp canvassing this issue. Besides, these are not times when you can arrange things with just one phone call to a judge.

Think about all this, will you, Mahinda maama? It must be exciting to be suddenly told that there is a possibility of you running again, and being the political animal that you are, you wouldn’t want to give up such a chance. But then, we also know that history doesn’t always repeat itself!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS – When the Police turned up at your doorstep to ask you about the journalist who was abducted, assaulted and returned ten years ago, your response was ‘mata mathaka nehe’. It looks like Duminda’s illness is spreading like an epidemic among politicians, no?