5th Column

Aiyo Sirisena,
I know you are receiving many letters these days- and writing many too, dismissing Prime Ministers on a whim-but I thought I must write one to you too, just to clarify a few issues. Please pardon me for calling you Aiyo Sirisena, but I’m really not sure whether you are the dear Maithri we knew before.

Please permit me to explain. The dear Maithri that the majority of people voted for three years ago, promised to abolish the all-powerful Presidency as we know it. Now, Aiyo Sirisena wants to stay in power at whatever cost, even teaming up with Mahinda maama who he said was a ruthless dictator.

The dear Maithri who asked for our vote claimed that if Mahinda maama won the last election, he would be six feet under and, fearing for his life, spent the night of the election at a hideaway in Kurunegala. Now, Aiyo Sirisena is inviting the same Mahinda maama to become Prime Minister.

In a television advertisement made by Mahinda maama’s team during the last big election, a little boy was used to accuse dear Maithri of abducting the boy’s mother. Such were the dirty tricks used against him. Aiyo Sirisena is now getting together with those who made such accusations against him.

At the last election, there wasn’t a depth to which Mahinda maama’s team wouldn’t stoop to, just to prevent dear Maithri from winning. So they got another Sirisena who resembled dear Maithri to run in the race, mocking dear Maithri. Aiyo Sirisena has now joined that same team with no sense of shame.

The dear Maithri we knew was too scared to attend his final campaign rally in Colombo — until the Green Man picked him up, accompanied him to the venue and walked with him, mingling with the crowd. However, Aiyo Sirisena is trying his best now to get rid of the same Green Man.

The dear Maithri of three years ago addressed the nation before the last general election and said that even if the Blues won he would never appoint Mahinda maama as Prime Minister because there are others who deserved the job. Aiyo Sirisena now wants Mahinda mama — and no one else — to be PM.

Dear Maithri promised to close the airport to prevent thieves from Mahinda maama’s team fleeing the country. Aiyo Sirisena however complains that the Greens are thieves- and some of them most probably are- but he doesn’t mind joining hands with those who he called thieves three years ago.

Dear Maithri promised us three years ago that he would restore the rule of law and prevent anyone from behaving as if they were above the law. Yet, within hours of Aiyo Sirisena appointing Mahinda maama as PM, hooligans took over state institutions and the media and mob rule has returned.

The dear Maithri who the majority voted for pledged not have any deals with those who are corrupt. Still, Aiyo Sirisena, while accusing the Greens of corruption and saying that was the reason why he sacked the Green Man, is not averse to accepting any Green, so Mahinda maama can have a majority.

Dear Maithri said he would follow the ideals of Sobhitha hamuduruwo, retire after one term and use his powers sparingly. Aiyo Sirisena unseats Prime Ministers using powers he doesn’t have. Had Sobhitha hamuduruwo been with us, he would have passed away anyway, watching this treachery.

So, Aiyo Sirisena, many blame you for plunging our Paradise into this crisis but to give you your due, if there is one thing you do well, that is the element of surprise. You used that to your advantage when you quit Mahinda maama’s Cabinet and you have used it now to take him into your cabinet.

There is, however, something else to remember, Aiyo Sirisena. You may think you have a deal with Mahinda maama where you agree to make him PM in return for you being able to run again from the Blues party for the next big race. Do you seriously think he will honour that deal, Aiyo Sirisena?

If Mahinda maama cannot run the race because the Constitution prevents him from doing so, you need to watch out because that is when Gota will enter the picture. Remember, Aiyo Sirisena, blood is thicker than water and that is the time when you will have to think again!

Still, you can rest assured that you have made history, Aiyo Sirisena. Future generations will remember you as the one who was propped up on the shoulders of giants and then betrayed the ideals they stood for.

It was former United States President Ronald Reagan who said that politics is the second oldest profession in the world — but that it bears a striking resemblance to the first. Aiyo Sirisena, we realise how right Reagan was.

As a peasant, you will be more familiar with the phrase ‘galey paharapu balala wagey’ or ‘like the cat who defaecated on a rock’ who tries in vain to hide his shameful deed. What can we say, except ‘Aiyo, Sirisena’!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-We heard you say that if the Green Man returns as Prime Minister, you won’t stay in your job for even an hour. That is precisely what you should not have said because even those who do not like Green Man that much will now vote for him, just so they can get rid of you. Aiyo Sirisena!