5th Column

My dear Khema’s boy,

I thought I must write to you because you seem to be on all the front pages these days, what with celebrating 30 years in Parliament and presenting budgets in quick succession. In recent times, we haven’t seen and heard of one man so much in so little time, without doing anything special at all!

The fact that you ‘celebrated’ 30 years in Parliament is, I suppose, special for you. A day before that, our first ever appointed MP – or ‘chit’ MP as they were called those days – Wattala’s Long John celebrated 40 years in politics. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about these anniversaries.

If you look around your colleagues in Parliament, Khema’s boy, you will find that so many of those who entered the House with you 30 years ago are still with you. Due to the ‘manaapa’ system, once someone gets elected and makes a name for themselves, we can’t get rid of them for decades.

I am not saying that we should have got rid of you too, but I prefer the previous system when even leading ministers were sent packing by voters of their electorate from time to time. The last time that happened was in ’77, when even people like Felix, Hector, NM, and Colvin all lost their seats.

That kept everyone on their toes. No one took themselves for granted. Now, once you are in Parliament, you are set for life. We even had trouble keeping those like Duminda and Mervyn from Kolonnawa and Kelaniya out of Parliament – and we will have many more anniversaries like yours.

Khema’s boy, it has been a long journey for you over the past 30 years. Five years after you entered Parliament, you took Satellite’s side in her tussle with Anura and became her blue-eyed boy when she got the top job. A few years later, she rewarded you by putting you in charge of the media.

At the time, you were the chap the media loved to hate, particularly after you famously said that journalists could be bought for a bottle of arrack. I am curious as to whether you still hold that view – and whether that is why you increased the price of arrack once again when you presented your budget.

You must have known which way the wheel of fortune was turning because, 10 years later, when Mahinda maama was battling Satellite to get nomination from the Blues, you did the unthinkable, deserted Satellite, joined Mahinda maama’s ranks and ran his campaign. You picked a winner!

That honeymoon did not last long. A couple of years later Mahinda maama sacked you along with Anura and Sripathi. Only you have lived to tell the tale. The Green Man welcomed you with open arms. You got together with him to get even with Mahinda maama - and put Aiyo Sirisena in office.

People will judge you differently for what you have done, Khema’s boy. Still, I think most will find fault with you for elevating Aiyo Sirisena to where he is. I suspect you must be feeling that way too which is why you were heard talking about a ‘para balla’ (or lowly dog) during that crisis last year.

So, it was amusing to find you seated there at your ceremony, flanked by Satellite, Mahinda maama, the Green Man – and even Aiyo Sirisena. You have opposed them all at one time or another – and at the same time you have helped them to come to power too – and you have also survived.

Then, you say that what you presented the other day was not an election budget, with the customary tax hikes on various items and so-called relief measures for others. All that is well and good, Khema’s boy, but I think it will take more than a mere budget to get the Greens across the line.

Already, you are on the firing line for saying that a million people in Paradise Isle do not have toilets. The Green Man has got his knickers in a twist for referring to them as ‘jungees’ in a public speech. Others are complaining that even ‘basic’ cars will be hit with a luxury tax that will make them unaffordable.

What surprises me is that the Green Man and most of the Greens don’t seem to realise the mess they are in. They think the government will be theirs just because Aiyo Sirisena and Mahinda maama are in different camps and are pulling in different directions. That trick worked once, it won’t work again!

Still, Khema’s boy, it must have been an arduous journey for an ‘innocent’ fashion designer to make his mark as a politician handling subjects as diverse as the Media, Foreign Affairs and Finance while working for different bosses and keeping them all happy. For that, we must say congratulations!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: You have put three Presidents in office, managing their campaigns when they were first elected to power. That is a great achievement. You are now aiming for the impossible by trying to get a fourth person to do the same. I don’t think you will succeed – and it won’t be your fault either, Khema’s boy!