5th Column

My dear Mahinda maama,
I thought I must write to you because I heard that you had been entrusted with the job of choosing who the candidate of the ‘pohottuwa’ party would be for the next big race, which is due before the end of the year. I don’t envy your task, but then, you are spoilt for choice, aren’t you?

To begin with, I can’t really understand how a decision as important as who your party’s candidate would be – when he or she could even be the next leader of the country – should rest in the hands of one person. It is not for nothing that you were known as ‘MR’ or ‘maha rajaano’ a few years ago.

It is also intriguing as to why all the potential nominees from the ‘pohottuwa’ party seem to have the same surname –and it is the same as yours too. Just as the Blues couldn’t find a leader who was not a ‘B’ for more than 50 years, it looks as if the ‘pohottuwa’ cannot find someone other than an ‘R’!
Now don’t give me excuses and say that your decision would have to be ‘approved’ by your party. We all know how these matters are decided in your party, and your minions, including GL, your nominal Chairman, are openly saying that you will have the final say on who your nominee will be.

Let us be honest, Mahinda maama. Although some people are still speculating, and you are playing your cards close to your chest, there is no real decision to be made here. That is because Gota is the nominee and all the other names are in fact red herrings to put everyone off the scent, isn’t it?
Chamal is the elder statesman but he is closer to his 80th birthday than he is to his 70th. Besides, he is not the type to brave the rough and tumble of a race for the top job which involves campaigning across the country within a short period of time and hurling insults at your opponents.

Then there is Basil. Now, he would have been an option because he is more politically cunning than even you. The problem though is that the man, despite all his professed love for our country, is a citizen of Trump Land and he values that more than being the big boss of Paradise!
What you would have really liked was to have Namal baby on the job. Of course, he is young and has been nothing more than a backbencher in Parliament, but that wouldn’t be an issue because he carries the ‘R’ name and you could always advise him. Besides, that would have made Shiranthi happy.
Unfortunately, the Green Man knew where your dynasty was heading and raised the age for the top job to 35 through the 19th Amendment. So, nominating him is out of the question. This is why, despite all this speculation about who your nominee would be, it was always going to be Gota.

Besides, Gota is already going about not as if he is merely the candidate, but as if he has already got the top job. He is running organisations that promote his image and he is travelling around the country – although not in a white van, of course – outlining his ‘vision and mission’ for Paradise.
You said that you would announce your choice after the Greens announce theirs. I don’t think you are fooling anybody by that, Mahinda maama, because we all know that Gota will be the candidate. Still, there is something more important than the Green candidate that you should worry about.

I am sure you would have realised it by now. Aiyo Sirisena still thinks he has a chance of being the ‘common’ candidate with the support of the ‘pohottuwa’. Now, don’t ask me why he thinks that but you must also know that when you are in that job, you begin to believe that you can do anything.

If I were you, Mahinda maama, I would worry much, much more about what Aiyo Sirisena is up to, rather than who the Greens would put forward. You couldn’t have forgotten how he gave an ‘address to the nation’ before the last big election and vowed that he would never appoint you as his PM.

Now, he is burning drugs in public and wants to portray himself as the leader who saved the nation from drugs, just as you were hailed for being the leader who saved the nation from terrorism. Egged on by a few like Dayasiri and Thilanga, he hasn’t, even for a moment, thought about not contesting.

So, be careful, Mahinda maama. I know Gota must be having his own plans on how to win the race, but you would do well to keep in mind that Aiyo Sirisena is still the big boss, and when he realises that he will have to run on his own, you might find that your new found friendship with him is over!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS: If you need anything to convince you that Aiyo Sirisena is playing his own game, Friday’s vote on the budget would have given you the answer, because many Blues loyal to him simply kept away without voting against it. Remember, this chap is prepared to even send someone to the gallows – in the guise of saving the country from drugs, of course – just so he could have another go at the top job!