Sunday Times 2
His was a remarkable life that touched so many other lives
Birth and Death anniversaries bring about in some of us who may be labelled “sentimental”, a certain sense of deep loss, brooding and memories – that can become overwhelming during these two days of the year. There are of course only certain people who have lived remarkable lives who can make this all happen. Certain people who have touched you in that certain manner that nobody had before. Certain people whose presence was enough to bring a certain warm glow into an otherwise certainly drab gathering. Parami was such a man to me and many people I know.
It is indeed supremely difficult to dabble with a military career and the Dhamma. But I know Parami succeeded to a great extent where others may have understandably struggled and faltered. He possessed a unique blend or balance of head and heart throughout his life that propelled him to seek and devour this way of righteousness.
It has been said that as a child he crafted chaithiyas and stupas out of mud and then plucked flowers to lovingly lay before them. His family was convinced that priesthood was his destiny. But he chose the military. But taking off later on his childhood frolics he developed a penchant for discovering and nurturing temples and chaithiyas that lay off the beaten track, wherein lived some remarkable monks, whom he had no hesitation to kneel before, and absorb all of their good vibrations. These are the places he frequented when he had some time and these are the temples he took us and made us trudge to.
I have read that In Buddhism, Parami means perfection or completeness of certain virtues which cultivate a way of purification while reaching a goal of enlightenment. A person who wants to become Buddha should have completed these ten perfections known as dasa parami. Dana parami: generosity, giving of oneself, Sila parami: virtue, morality, Nekkhamma parami: renunciation, Panha parami: wisdom, insight, Viriya parami: effort, diligence, Khanti parami: patience, tolerance, Sacca parami: truthfulness, honesty, Adhitthana parami: determination, resolution, Metta parami: loving, kindness, Upekkha parami: equanimity, serenity.
I will not say that Parami attained all of these perfections, but can vouch that he was well on his way on that long and winding road. Until his karma caught up with him on that fateful day.
Coming to that fateful day, I am sure he would have by now forgiven all of those who conspired, colluded and connived to blow him away. Especially those who now scream “ranaviru” at the drop of a hat. A true ranaviru was what he was, but his cry for accommodation in a place where he truly belonged and deserved was craftily ignored for the shere khans of our land with the aid of some cardboard simbas to set their gory trap.
Lieutenant General Parami Sugandika Bandara Kulatunga, VSV, RSP, USP, PBP, DPS, USAWC, GW, Sri Lanka Army’s former Deputy Chief of Staff and third most senior military General at the time of his assassination was born on Oct 9, 1951 and died on June 26, 2006. This is written to remember him especially on his birthday.
“A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent.” — Gen. Douglas MacArthur.
Jomo Uduman