5th Column

My dear Cheerio Sirisena,

I thought I should write to you firstly to find out how you are faring because it has been one month since you left the top job. I am pretty sure almost no one writes to you now, since you are not in the hot seat and not of use to anyone- which was also the case even when you were doing the top job.

The other reason why I thought I should write to you was because of something that you said this week- that the blues should get together with the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps to try to obtain a two-thirds majority at the general election. That will upset many Blue supporters though they won’t be surprised.

Cheerio Sirisena, in the months before the big race last month, you were hinting at the possibility of running for office again, although we all knew that, if you did so, you would lose by quite a margin. Either you had absolutely no idea how unpopular you were- or you were trying to strike a deal.

Considering your actions over the past four years and more, including the treacherous way you tried to oust the Green Man last year, it is more likely that you were trying to strike a deal. The problem for you was that you didn’t quite know for sure who would win. So, you kept talking to both sides.

To the Blues and Gota maama, you kept saying that they couldn’t make it past the fifty per cent mark without your support. While doing so, you were also talking behind closed doors with young Sajith, just to make sure that your future would be secure. To the rest of us, you said you were ‘neutral’!

In the end, the Blues agreed to support Gota maama without getting anything in return. As it turned out, he needn’t have offered anything to you for your assistance because they won by such a massive margin. Clearly, your support was not necessary. That is why they were given only two Cabinet posts.

Cheerio Sirisena, you may have defeated Mahinda maama four and a half years ago but that is not because you were smarter than him. That was only because he was unpopular at the time because of the way he ran his government- and because you happened to be at the right place at the right time.

This time around, Mahinda maama, Gota maama and Basil didn’t fall for your tricks. They didn’t panic about not being able to win without your support. That is why they didn’t give in to your demands such as contesting on a symbol other than the ‘pohottuwa’. In the end, they were proved right.

When you now say that the Blues should support Gota maama to win a two-thirds majority, we know that you are singing for your supper. We know that you wanted to come back to Parliament before the elections, perhaps in Uncle Karu’s job, but no one was willing to resign, to enable you to return.

So, you now want to at least make sure that you will be looked after at the next elections. That is why you are making statements saying the Blues should support Gota maama to win a two-thirds majority. The reality is that the Blues being a shadow of their former party, their support wouldn’t really matter.

The Greens are still bickering over their party leadership and everyone expects the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps to win the general election. The only question, it seems, is by how much. I still don’t think that the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps winning a two-thirds majority is a good idea for Paradise and I will tell you why.

There have been three instances when governments in Paradise mustered two-thirds majorities: first under Mrs. B in the early ‘70s, with JR in the late ‘70s and nearly ten years ago when Mahinda maama engineered some cross-overs so he could make up the required numbers for a two-thirds majority.

Each of those governments tinkered with the Constitution. That was not to serve Paradise better but for their own benefit. Ms. B was in office for two years more than her term. JR made himself a virtual king, vesting all powers with himself. Mahinda maama improved on that, running for a third term.

For that reason, I wouldn’t endorse your call for a two-thirds majority for Gota maama and his ‘pohottuwa’ chaps at the next election. However, having seen you in action for the past four and a half years, we do know that for you, your own welfare takes precedence over the welfare of Paradise.

So, Cheerio Sirisena, if you really want to help Paradise, you can do what you promised to do: retire gracefully after one term in office and return to tending the paddy fields of Polonnaruwa. You can help Paradise even more if you can convince someone else to join you in retirement: the Green Man!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS- If you think you are still popular and voters have faith in you, here is a challenge: run for election in Polonnaruwa on the Blue ticket against the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps and the Greens and win a seat in the next Parliament. If I were you, I’d try to sneak in on the National List, rather than trying that!