Appreciations
View(s):My amazing mother-the unsung hero
Violet Augusta (Siriwardene) Malalgoda
Wednesday June 17, was a day of solemn parting from a legend who was a hero in every sense. This was my amazing mother whose quiet contribution to humanity remains known only to those of us who walked beside her. She left a legacy in service with dignity and sincerity.
My mother, Violet Augusta (Siriwardene) Malalgoda was born to two wonderful loving parents H. Don Patrick Siriwardene and Violet Stella (Blok) Siriwardene on August 1, 1922. She was both mother and father to me for a greater part of my life, for we lost an illustrious father too early in life.
The only daughter, she was better known as “Tiny”.Two brothers Vernon Patrick (now deceased) and Sanath Dudley came after her. Their fortune was not the vast amount of property owned by her father both in the Mahamodera Walauwa, Galle or parts of Cinnamon Gardens, Karlshrue Gardens, and Gothami Road Borella; their fortune was in their richness as a close and extended family. Those worldly acquisitions were shed in stages by her parents as it was an “inconvenient burden” to hold as my grandmother once said.
My mother had a wide circle of cousins many who kept in close touch. She grew up in this close-knit extended family that could have made up a whole village and we saw how united, affectionate, and respectful they were to each other. Some of them were universally recognized figures and many exceptionally talented musicians aside from being professionals. Yet they were strikingly humble. The Amerasinghes, Samarasinghes, Munasinghes, Vitaranas, Bloks and all the branches that made this solid family tree stood tall in my eyes as a child.
My mother received her entire education at St. Bridget’s Convent. Her colleagues included Lilian Perera (later Anthonis) Daphne Kanekaratne (later Attygalle), Janet Dias (later Abeywardene), Manonmani Arasaratnam (later Muthukumaru), Mabel Stanislaus and many more who we met in later years as her peers in school.
My mother married my father Percy Malalgoda in 1944 at the time a young Advocate building his legal profession. My father, in addition to being a lawyer and later a Judge was also a musician. My mother’s well-rounded upbringing that included her abilities at the piano were in my eyes a perfect match because they complemented each other. Playing music together left treasured memories – I remember my parents playing classics (particularly Toselli’s Serenade together). My father at the violin and my mother at the piano left its melody in the same setting in my memoryfor many years later. That finesse my parents exuded will never be matched. It remains as a part of a genuine love for music that has passed on to me and further down to her great grandchildren.
My parents had extraordinarily strong friendships with many families at a time when diversity was taken for granted. Dr. K. D. F. Piyaseeli who later became the Physician to President Premadasa, and his wife and the Government Agent, S. B. Senanayake who later became the Land Commissioner and his wife Chitra, Freddie Kohoban Wickrema who was later Secretary to the Cabinet and Mona, Lionel Sirimanne who was later a Supreme Court Judge and his wife Flores, Tiddy a well-known Surveyor and Soma Samarasinghe, were a few of their constant companions. The friendships between our parents continued and we the children kept their flame of warm friendship burning.
In Gampaha, there was Corbett Jayawardene, brother of J.R., his wife Essie and daughter Amitha (later Paiva) with whom we learned Kandyan dance every weekend. It was in Gampaha that my parents took me to my first school – Holy Cross College, for the discipline and order it provided us. Being devout Buddhists, they did not let their strong faith by birth get in the way of recognizing the best about another religion and thrusting us to experience the best of whatever was different. We had a private tutor at home for Buddhism and learnt Kandyan dancing with Heen Baba Dharmasiri. My mother was my first piano teacher introducing me to Western music at age five. Our plate was full, but their vision was fulfilling.The balance was even.
Our parents made seamless decisions with agreement in whatever they decided. Striking characteristics, we noted were their readiness to help friends, relatives, the poor and unfortunate regardless of race, religion, or creed. It was not something to be learned but it became a natural way of life for us.
When my father passed away at a young age, soon after a transfer to Colombo, my mother was left to raise three children. His death was a brutal shock to her. I was just nine, but I understood the herculean task my mother faced.
She was so graceful, never grumbled or found excuses. We moved to Colombo and St. Bridget’s very graciously accommodated us. I remember the warmth and affection of the nuns during my father’s illness praying for him and later the caring extended to us. I am so glad to give back by sharing my musical gifts with church services in the USA where I have lived for 35 years, in remembrance and with gratitude. We remain Buddhist but exposed to Catholic surroundings accepting a life of tolerance, compassion and respect taught in the Buddhist doctrine and reinforced by our parents. Above all of it was the kindness we received from the nuns at the time, Mother Canice, Mother Francis De Sales and our teachers who knew both our parents intimately that touched us very much. When my father passed away, they continued to care even more, and my mother kept her close contact with the convent.
My mother was the first in her generation to be widowed and, ironically, I followed as the first to be widowed in my generation exactly twenty years later. Instead of complaining she stressed the importance of education for women. Her words will echo in my ears forever. She believed education was the only thing no one can take away. She could not have been more spot on!
After my father passed away she immersed herself in social work volunteering with the National Council for Child and Youth Welfare caring for destitute children. She was the honorary warden of the Pamunugama Children’s Home for decades. Trips to the home and watching the children was a grounding experience. Her volunteer work lasted over 45 years until she reached the age of 87. Microsoft computer classes, a building for tsunami children were part of her voluntary contribution. She kept regular contact with the matron Celine making herself available whenever there were issues with the kids. I was privileged to assist her whenever she needed.
She continued to care for people and what she gave in the past was probably her reward for a long life with care she received from two loving caregivers Sumana and Mala. I cannot say enough about the two people who were at her side night and day.
My mother made two trips to the USA. I was fortunate she was around for my convocation when I graduated with further qualifications in the USA. With her work at the Pamunugama Home she inspired many people she met to make charitable contributions toward destitute children in future visits. It is a fair estimation to believe that during the 45 years of time she gave as a volunteer, she probably saw about 2,000 children pass through. Her greatest pride was to talk about Dr. Nimal Gunatilleke, a prodigy who went on to be a well-qualified doctor in England.
She was also Secretary of the National Council for Child and Youth Welfare and kept busy with the World Buddhism Vesak Annual, a publication that was initiated by the late Austin De Silva. She played a role in the local Buddhist temple serving on the committee.In a quiet way she was among the most respected people in our area.
She took us around driving from school to school and to other places. I remember times she parked outside the school when I played the piano for school competition rehearsals to listen on the public-address system. She supported all activities I became involved in but was never pushy. She drove me to the University Campus when I was rather timid about venturing out to the unprotected world of higher education.
The catalyst of her support gave me the strength to put more and more effort throughout life when I saw her fate was replicated in my life. It was only my mother who understood the trauma we both went through at different times.
My appreciation of my mother as a living legend hopefully made my mother proud too. She was gentle at the best of times and the worst of times.We had an open line of communication in our impermanent world.
She consoled me with her words according to Buddhism and our past karma. She taught me to be content and grateful for what we had. She was there beside me and our regular long-distance conversations between America and Sri Lanka continued for decades until she was no longer able to keep up.
I am grateful for a mother who was my strength to become a good person and live each day maintaining what she taught me to be. Her life was eventful, and she will enjoy blessings for what she gave to those who needed it most. The legacy she leaves is one that will be remembered by many and most of all, the children she nurtured in her years of dedication to child and youth welfare.
Fond farewell to an unsung hero, one among few with the rare qualities that have left a mark on many lives. I am fortunate and proud to call her my mother.
My guiding light and hero is no more. Just like she lived her life, she quietly slipped away to reap all the good she gave. Amma, you will forever be remembered and blessed by many. You will be missed very much in the emptiness you left behind that can never be filled.
Your grateful daughter
Anjalika
Everyday conversations with mum as I remember
Yvonne Wijesinghe
On her 84th birth anniversary
I can confirm that I have seen angels… no, not in heaven, but on earth… it was my amma.
Amma you were amazing – a highly qualified and brilliant science teacher, from whose A’L classes students rose to become doctors, Commanders, heads of corporate firms, and many other highly regarded professionals, and they just could not stop singing your praises.
But then you were also a virtual literary scholar, having written a few books; your grammar and spelling were second to none. You were so clever and stopped at nothing. At 82 plus you continued to revel in doing the word puzzles in the newspapers. I tried a few of them on my holiday in Sri Lanka and gave up. Then you would easily come up with the answer.
After you had retired from teaching, in spite of suffering from arthritis, your enthusiasm and energy in carrying out charity work never waned, in fact it burgeoned. Year after year, with boxes of gifts collected in Australia and sent by aiya (my brother Rohan), and collecting funds from family and friends locally, you organized not only goodies for the children but also items of clothing, footwear, bed linen, and, yes, also some items of hospital equipment, for the children in the Cancer Hospital, Lady Ridgeway Hospital, orphanages, and homes for handicapped children.
Amma you were such a versatile mum … so creative, and had an array of interests. ….you enjoyed landscaping the garden, decorating the house, with a host of novel ideas for table decor, and of course completing beautiful patchwork and cross-stitch work.
I fondly remember how we both attended flower arrangement exhibitions and brought back heaps of ideas on Ikebana and Bonsai. I know you are happy that some of this has been transferred to Patty (my sister Mayuri) and me.
Amma you loved parties and gatherings, oh yes and overseas or outstation trips. We really do miss your contribution and the discussions during these times. You would be so happy to see Aiya and Eromi hosting Christmas parties in Sydney each year.
Amma you had an insatiable appetite for reading, hence gathered immense knowledge and you were well versed in current affairs too. So it’s not surprising I found paper cuttings of “how to make Kambucha” in a folder on your bedside table, much to my younger son’s delight, as he loves making Kambucha.
Incidentally the last thing I showed you on skype in January 2019 were the blue pansies and lobelia in Wellington as I went around with my mobile phone camera showing you my garden. You smiled and commented “I love blue flowers.” So I’ll continue to pick a special bunch of blue flowers for you my amma each summer. They are from me, Kumara, Raveen and Sandesh to a special mum and achchi whose love knew no barriers.
I found the paper cutting of the Irish blessing again in one of your interesting folders. My choir sings this to you:
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sunshine warm upon your face
May the rain fall softly
Until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of his hand!
Your loving
daughter Achala
Generations of youngsters gained from his magnanimity
Abdul Samad Mohamed Omar
My friend Abdul Samad Mohamed Omar is no more. He breathed his last peacefully early on the second day of April 2020. Our friendship which spanned almost seven decades, sprouted as we were from the same neighbourhood. He belonged to a very reputed family in Beruwala. His father was a leading businessman, being the partner of Moulanas in Maradana, Colombo. He was also one-time Chairman of the Urban Council of Beruwala. His mother was from a well known family in Dharga Town.
Omar had his education at Zahira College, Colombo and excelled in his studies, becoming the leader of the debating team of the college. This skill helped him win the much coveted Allama lqbal Oratorical Contest held under the auspices of the High Commission of Pakistan. He was always proud of his alma mater and of his mentor, Dr. A. M. A. Azeez.
He had a great liking for the legal profession but as the Law College entrance required a credit pass in one of the national languages, he took to the noble profession of teaching and entered the Teachers College at Palaly specialising in the teaching of English. After his training, he started his career at his alma mater. After the college came under government control, he was transferred to Zahira College, Dharga Town. He was later appointed Vice Principal of the college and played a pivotal role in the building of the Naleem Hajiyar Assembly Hall at the college. He was an able stalwart to the principal Marhoom I.L.M. Shuaib. The special characteristic of Omar was that whatever task he was entrusted with, he could carry it out in spite of all opposition.
By divine providence, we were together selected by the Ministry of Education of the Sultanate of Oman as teachers of English and served in the secondary school in Nizwa for nine long years. He had an indelible impact not only on his students but on everyone who interacted with him.
Omar had the great sagacity to sway even those who had contradictory views with persuasive arguments. He successfully organised a students’ movement to assist the Colombo based Muslim students enhance their careers. He was the founder Secretary of the All Ceylon Muslim Students Union. Omar had a close rapport with then Minister of Education Dr W. Dahanayake who readily acceded to all the reasonable requests put forward by the union. There were so many youngsters who were benefited by his magnanimity.
Omar was the assistant secretary of the All Ceylon Muslim Educational Conference and manager of the Isha Athul Islam Home for the Orphans. During his time there he was mainly responsible for starting IT classes for the orphans.
He lived a full life happily married to Fouzul Hinaya with his devoted daughters Aska and Asna, and sons Sabri – in Italy and Shouki, an IT Engineer who looked after him in his old age. Though his mobility was curtailed by sickness, his strong mind and humour remained.
Shakespeare said “We cannot hold mortality’s strong hand” on the inevitability of death. But we can seek solace by praying for his kind soul. May the Almighty Allah grant him a hallowed place in Jannathul Firdous.
Mashoor Mohamed Nizam