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How strange that the August general elections brought back memories of Sri Lanka’s (or Ceylon’s to be more accurate) first ever parliamentary election 80 years ago. As little kids, one could not understand the significance of that first election, even before the country gained independence. But in the mind’s eye there seemed to be some connection, some nexus between August 2020 and the same month in 1947 though one could not precisely pin it down.

If there is some nexus between the August political events 80 years apart, it is partly because of fortuitous circumstances. Today’s elections tend to be raucous, sometimes rowdy and even physical and very violent. Thousands and more people gather at people’s parks and crowded places if the local authorities grant the party officials permission to hold rallies and spew their rhetoric — whether true, false or blatant lies hardly matters.

That first one-to-one debate between incumbent president Donald Trump and Democratic opponent Joe Biden last week ahead of the November presidential election is an illustration of how political campaigning has descended to what one might call a new nadir with plenty of time to descend further.

Donald Trump is a classic example of a political leader who has no qualms — if any — in his pea-sized brain, about knowingly lying in public and publicly defending his lies. Not that lies did not escape from the sweet lips of candidates that promise their voters the whole solar system for a vote. It has happened for the last 80 years, certainly much more now than decades ago.

What made the campaigning more like in the early years of Sri Lankan electioneering is that coronavirus intervened, making massive campaign rallies, large public gatherings and door-to-door canvassing prohibitive? In fact, it was more like electioneering in the UK than campaigning in Sri Lanka in modern times.

I still remember rather vaguely the political campaigning during Ceylon’s first election as the country prepared for independence six months later and for the inauguration of the first parliament. As a kid, I was living at Udahamulla quite close to the railway station with a road running almost alongside the station.

Quite often, the supporters of the leftist Lanka Sama Samaja Party and rightist United National Party would march along that road shouting slogans, waving party flags and portraits of their respective candidates. Among the slogans the supporters of the LSSP — whose candidate if I remember correctly was Robert Gunawardena, a fiery speaker and brother of the equally fiery Philip known then as the “Father of Marxism”, shouted in unison was “Danapathiya Bungawewa”. At that time we did not know what it meant but learned later that it was down with capitalists.

With only 10 cents of pocket money for the day I thought it was an appropriate enough slogan. Anyway the LSSP campaign meetings and long lines of supporters carrying red flags with the hammer and sickle were attractive enough to stir the kids and make them gravitate to the LSSP although we could hardly pronounce Bolshevism or Bolshevic and did not know what it meant anyway. Yet we tended to gravitate towards the red-flag waving party and carried this inclination to the university and out of it.

What was quite apparent then and less so now was that the earlier parties that formed the bedrock of the country’s political system had a sound ideological basis and educated leaders and a second and third string unlike some of the tub thumpers of today led by pretentious intellectuals who are more concerned with upward career mobility even though many now occupy and speak from retirement chairs.

It was not too long ago that a former cabinet minister in the Yahapalana government was moaning that he had not been offered a cabinet seat. Well if not at least one as a State Minister. Not any State Minister, mind you. He wants a portfolio that nobody else has aspired to or is likely to ask for.

It does make sense. Apart from the fact that the aspiring (and no doubt perspiring) minister would be the first Sri Lankan to hold the portfolio of Minister (State Minister?) for Monkeys or Minister of Monkeys. It might be necessary to seek judicial advice as to whether Minister for Monkeys is higher than Minister of Monkeys. After all if former minister Dilan Perera wishes to be the first minister with such a portfolio he might as well start at the top.

When 20A once cleared by the Supreme Court permits the Government to add a dozen or so more ministers and state ministers to a burgeoning cabinet, it would be conceivable that a place would be available for Mr Perera. Let’s be fair after all. He clung on to SLFP leader Sirisena’s sudhu redda hoping that he will get a portfolio along with Yahapalana Lokka but it all seems to have misfired unless Sirisena is offered Minister for Corona.

Come to think of it no minister of a government in the old days took a dive from president to lower depths. I suppose if one has no sinking feelings and can absorb shame it would not mean much. At least Dilan Perera is concerned about what will happen to parliament when the four-legged ones invade that august assembly.

Mr Perera is concerned about his colleagues who would have to associate with this kind of mammal, even having to sit down for a meal with them. Not that the monkeys would behave any worse than those who were there some years back. Would the monkeys conduct be any more disgraceful and condemnable than those who threw chilli powder in the well of the house, or those who slept the night in the parliament chamber singing till they went hoarse?

And now what do we have. Besides monkey tracking ministers determined to save their colleagues from intermingling with the lower orders, there are new ministers wishing to imitate monkeys by climbing trees. The other day State Minister Arundika Fernando climbed a coconut tree apparently in his own coconut plantation in Dankotuwa. It happened during a press conference he had called.

There was a picture of Mr Fernando halfway up a tree holding on to the tree with one hand and a coconut with the other. That was a neat trick. He seemed to be seated on some modern tree-climbing gadget. It would appear that it would be best if it is taught to all MPs starting with the cabinet given the price of coconuts and the price for plucking them.

Just a word of caution, though. If there are colleagues of Mr Fernando’s weight and girth maybe a second mechanical seat might prove useful.

(Neville de Silva is a veteran Sri Lankan journalist who was Assistant Editor, Diplomatic Editor and Political Columnist of the Hong Kong Standard before moving to London where he worked for Gemini News Service. Later he was Deputy Chief-of-Mission in Bangkok and Deputy High Commissioner in London before returning to journalism.)