How is covid treating your affairs?
View(s):The covid-19 pandemic has reshaped our personal relationships in unprecedented ways, forcing us to live closer together with some people and further apart from others. This article will focus on the psychological impacts of the corona virus, especially how covid-19 affects family and relationships, and how to resolve the issues tactfully.
Raeesa hAdjie : Currently I am a psychology visiting lecturer at the American National College. And involved in research with an American public health project examining adolescent health. Formerly attached to the Department of psychology & Counseling at the Open University of Sri Lanka.
Fortunately some individuals accepted to turn the pandemic lockdown into self growth and development, such as learning a new skill, starting a hobby, physical fitness and nutrition, completing an online course, cooking and the list goes on.
On the other hand, the emergence of a pandemic had lead to severe changes in people’s lives. Sudden changes in their daily routines have made them to become passive, isolated and lonely although the internet and other technological devices have taken a toll of our lives. Pandemic stress, pressures of working from home, school closures have caused unwanted psychological pressure, leading to an increased number of abusive behaviours among families and couples.
According to researches, the “new normal” lifestyle is found that families and couples are steering towards new problems, perhaps leading to aggravate existing tensions.
Although with the realization that many jobs can be done easily through the internet, meeting can be hosted using various softwares, meaning people can save their time from commuting. However, the issue arises with the intense use of internet and other technological gadgets. This may cause people to suffer from immobility, loneliness, internet addictions, disorders such as depression and anxiety related disorders. Negative effects from looking at the screen for a long time, may cause sleeping issues (eg., insomnia) and eating issues.
Another commonly noticed challenge that families are facing is the increased burden of house chores often leaving women shouldering a greater burden out of it. While in some cases, men are also going through a similar phase as women.
Unfortunately, most people do not realize that these lifestyle changes might affect their psychological health immensely. And they do not pay enough attention to ways to prevent potential problems, or learn how to address such problems should they emerge. It is true that “corona coaster” has made people’s lives difficult and challenging causing a lot of emotional/psychological issues. Employee-employer relationships, friendships, couple and family relationships are put to the test and some issues tend to occur naturally. Hence, solving these issues before it grows big is the best option.
Conflict and anger are natural parts of family life. But how you handle them makes the difference in having good relationships with loved ones. Resolve a conflict with a calm and respectful fashion, and your own children are most likely to follow the example you set. It is human nature to think that you are right in any argument and you want to get your way. Sometimes small arguments may escalate into bigger ones.
Family violence is a maladaptive coping strategy or reaction to the strain/stress caused due to various kinds of factors depending on the issue. Keep in mind that they might be the ones you love most. But living in close confines 24 hours a day can be stressful and it may exacerbate existing issues and or trigger some of the following too:
n Past traumatic life experiences
n Existing family pressures and expectations
n Feeling emotionally overwhelmed
n Frustrations and frequent anger
n Feeling lonely
n Having to deal with emotions due to the loss of a loved one during the pandemic
Tend to give up on other important aspects in life. Example: distancing from other important relationships and friends etc.
Disagreements can tear apart your family. Always remember there can be a family member dear to you who is silently suffering after witnessing frequent unpleasant family conflicts. Therefore, be aware.
Sometimes having a mental health issue can be invisible. Someone suffering with their mental health could still smile, laugh, go to work/school, socialize, say they are “fine”.
Remember that you do not have to cope alone. There are strategies and supports that can help. Following are a few smart points to resolve conflicts at home. Keep in mind, even with your differences, you love and respect each other. The viewpoints of everyone in the family should be heard and acknowledged.
Learn to listen carefully to the others calmly and try to clarify the differences
Next define the conflict and frame it. So then it is you and your partner/family vs. the problem. Not you against your partner/children
Once the problem is understood you can start to work on a compromise that benefits everyone involved.
If a problem bubbles up, make sure to resolve it right away rather than letting it make bitter. Avoid criticizing, being defensive, stonewalling and acting disrespectfully. These are dangerous behaviours which can lead to aggravate family disharmony. If you feel the fight is getting too intense, it might be appropriate to take a time-out. Try to revisit the issue once everyone is in a better frame of mind.
A few activities which anyone can try to relax their mind.
Humor is a great way to relive tension. Try watching something funny
Take time to look after yourself: organize your room, wardrobe or table, do a facial mask using natural ingredients or do a manicure/pedicure, take a head massage on your own, watch your personal hygiene etc.
Stay connected with a close friend/friends
Listen to relaxation music or a prayer
Start a new hobby or a hobby that used to be your all time favourite
Opt for home exercising – as of for safety reasons due to the prevailing pandemic issues
Take time to reflect and be thankful for all the little things. Write down few things you are grateful for each day.
Finally, practice reading positive affirmations daily.
Examples: “I believe good things will happen soon”
“I am strong”
“My future is full of light and laughter”
“I spread positive energy and vibes”
“I am intelligent”
“I love my family”
“I choose to love myself”
“I am at peace now”
“I am healthy”
“I choose to be happy”
“I am proud of myself and all that I have accomplished”
“I choose to think positively”
Seek for meaning
By now it must have been realized that this virus makes no exceptions for the rich/poor, young/old, women/men. Anyone can suffer from this virus. Everyone understands that health is the most important thing in life. Thus virus also reminds us of what really matters in our lives.
If your partner, friend, child, parent/s is suffering on an even deeper level, encourage them to seek professional help immediately. In today’s climate, therapists are also making themselves available using online mediums to communicate with clients during the covid pandemic.
Be sure that these days will pass. The pandemic shall ease with medical interventions. So it is important to take care of your mental health. In order to survive this pandemic, please take control of your life and learn to use adaptive coping skills to face matters effectively.
“We rise by lifting others” ~ Robert Ingersoll